Her Scars
by Kutlessrocker
Summary: Xion and Kairi Kinneas live with their abusive uncle, Cid Highwind, on the Destiny Islands.  Their bodies and hearts are scarred from the deep wounds he has inflicted upon them.  Prequel to My Black Dahlia and In the Arms of the Angels.  Rated M for rape.
1. The Scars Remain

Author's Note: Here's that prequel to My Black Dahlia that I've been working on. I suggest you read "My Black Dahlia and In the Arms of the Angels before reading this. This is rated M for the mature themes. There will be some scenes of rape, but I wouldn't really say that it's Lemon. I don't go into the details because I don't write Lemon. This is Xion's perspective, and when she is raped, her mind tries to block the trauma out so she concentrates on other things. Enjoy guys...

I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the lyrics to "Scars Remain" by Disciple. The story itself is my idea though.

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><p>It was the first day of summer. I was so happy to finally be out of school. It meant more time to spend with my friends and that meant less time with my abusive uncle, Cid. Kairi and I had been forced to live with him since our mom died about five years ago from breast cancer and our worthless father abandoned us. Mom's death put me through an awful stage of depression. If it wasn't for Kairi, Roxas, Sora, Namine, and Axel, I don't know what I would have done. Before mom died, I had beautiful, wine-colored hair like my twin sister, Kairi. I dyed it black after the funeral. I drew away from my friends, skipped school constantly and even thought about killing myself. I didn't want to live anymore. Cid made the thought of suicide even more appealing. He did horrible things to us. He would beat us every day and cut every inch of our bodies with broken glass and dirty, used razors. And when he was especially pissed at the world, he…he…he would rape us. I hated that sick, twisted man so much. The thought of what he did to us made me want to cry, and when he would do it, it made me wish I were dead.<p>

I eventually recovered from the depression. I started to let my friends back into my life. I kept the short, black hair because I felt that it suited me better. Roxas seemed to like it as well, and I liked the thought of that. But Cid still abused us. I was sad that my first time had been taken away from me by my piece-of-crap uncle. I wanted it to be special with someone I really loved! Kairi understood because she was raped by him too. I think he raped her more than he did me though. I could hear her soft cries in the middle of the night from her room. I'd open my door and see Cid walking out of the room. If he saw me, he would run to my room and beat me until I was within an inch of my life. Then he would berate me about how weak and worthless I was. He would tell me that no one would want me because he had defiled me. Well, he had a harsher word for it than "defiled', but I didn't like to cuss, especially when Kairi was around. She was a Christian and I could tell it bothered her when she heard me and Cid cuss each other out. I don't know how she still had faith after all we had gone through, but she did. Maybe that was what kept her sane. Did she know something I didn't? I tried not to think about it too much.

I got out of bed, which was almost always the hardest part of the day considering how crappy my home life was, and walked to the bathroom. I undressed and stepped in the shower. I turned the water on until it was hot enough and let the steamy water run down my body. The steam cleared my head and woke me up. The hot water relaxed my aching muscles.

After the shower, I stepped out and dried myself off. I stopped in front of the full-length mirror and scanned over my body. It had once been like anyone else's body, but not anymore. I had deep scars going across my chest, stomach, legs, and arms from where Cid would cut me. There were also cigarette burns that Cid had given me. I gently touched the scars that marred my body and a few painful tears escaped my eyes. Why did he have to do this to me? What had I done to deserve this abuse?

Kairi and I would have moved out in a heartbeat. We were seventeen, we had every right to, but Kairi and I didn't have anywhere to go. Of course, anywhere would have been better than there. Even Cid's own daughter didn't live here. Namine lived with her best friend, Tifa Lockhart. Cid was pretty pathetic to drive away his own daughter.

I walked to my closet and fished out some clothes. I found a black tank top and a pair of shorts. I wore my bathing suit underneath my clothes in case we all decided to go to the beach. Kairi and I would be hanging out with Roxas, Axel, Sora, and Namine today. Tifa would have come, but she had to work at her bar, Seventh Heaven, all night tonight and needed to sleep all day so she could stay awake tonight. I liked it when Tifa would show up. She was nice, and having someone like her around made me have a little more faith that humanity wasn't completely screwed up.

I met my sister in the hallway. "Hey, Xion," she said. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Kairi," I said. "Let's get out of here before Cid finds us."

"You two didn't think you could get away from me, did ya?" Cid said in his thick, country accent. He sounded like Larry the Cable Guy. "You ain't leavin' here without a little family time!" That's what he would call it when he tortured us, "family time". Last time I checked, families didn't act like that. Families loved, not abused.

"Kairi, run!" I said. About the time I said that, Cid picked up an old, autographed baseball from the table and pitched it at me. I tasted the metallic flavor of my blood in my mouth when it hit me in the jaw. It didn't hurt as much as it used to because I was used to pain being a part of everyday life.

"Xion!" Kairi yelled. I snapped out of the daze the impact from the baseball put me in and ran through the cluttered house. I almost tripped over Cid's banjo. I thought about stepping on the neck and snapping it in half, but Cid would have killed me when I got home later that day. And I mean he would have literally taken my life.

We made it out of the house and jumped in Kairi's car. She started the ignition and peeled out of the driveway before Cid could get one of his guns. I just knew we were in for it when we got home. And we would eventually have to come home. But for now, we were free and safe. Actually, I think we would have been safer with a Mafia hitman than we were with Cid.

I sighed in relief that we were finally out of firing range. "That was close," I said.

"Yeah, really," Kairi responded. "Hey, Xion, are you ok? You're bleeding pretty bad." I looked in the mirror at my mouth and I had been bleeding from where Cid hit me with that baseball.

"I'm fine," I lied. I always lied when people asked me that. Truth is, I was never fine. My whole life was one bad thing after another. Mom dying, dad leaving us, Cid beating us, and far too many more to name. I didn't think things would ever get better.

"Ok," she said. She knew I was lying. The reason she knew was that she went through the exact same things I did. She would get beaten, cut, burned, and raped just like I would. The scars on her body matched mine. I was just glad we had such understanding friends. We used to be too ashamed to wear bathing suits in front of them, but then they saw the scars on our arms and legs and told us that they understood. I knew that they didn't really understand, but they knew that it wasn't our fault and they still loved us. The one I was most afraid of seeing my scars was Roxas. I was afraid he wouldn't find me attractive with all the scars on my body. But he didn't seem to mind. He still loved me anyway.

I looked over toward my twin and smiled. She was the only person on earth that understood everything I went through. I don't know what I would have done without her. She was my rock, my anchor. I loved my sister so much. She glanced over to me and smiled. Then, she reached for the stereo and turned on some music. The song, "Scars Remain" by Disciple was playing. In all honesty, it was our song. The lyrics were so true to our lives:

_What is all this_

_The question I am asking_

_It's not what is_

_I feel like I was promised._

_This hurts, this leaves_

_A lasting laceration_

_I can't believe that this is what my faith was for. _

_The Scars Remain _

_Reminds of pain _

_The Scars Remain._

_When I see you I see scars that are matching_

_When I see you I see scars that are matching_

_I know what I'm feeling, you are feeling_

_Scars remaining through_

_When I see you I see scars that are matching._

_My feet will sink_

_In this quicksand around me_

_Unless something or someone comes to save me_

_This hurts, this leaves_

_A lasting laceration_

_I can't believe that this is what my faith was for._

_The Scars Remain_

_Reminds of pain_

_The Scars Remain._

We arrived at Roxas and Axel's house. Kairi put her car in park and pulled the keys out of the ignition. We walked up to Roxas' house. It was a very nice house. It looked about like any other suburban home. I rang the doorbell and was greeted by a tall man with flaming red hair that was pulled back in a ponytail.

"Hey Reno," I said. Reno was Roxas and Axel's half-brother. They had the same father, but Reno had a different mom. She died before Roxas and Axel were born. "Are Roxas and Axel home? We were supposed to hang out today."

"Hey Xion, hey Kairi," he said. Reno was cool. He looked just like Axel. "They're here. Come on it and sit down." I didn't know Reno was going to be here. He lived in Twilight Town. It was a decent distance from here, the Destiny Islands. But I was glad; I liked it when Reno came. "Roxas, your girlfriend and her sister are here! Get your lazy butt down here!" I blushed when he said "girlfriend". Roxas and I hadn't officially started dating. We went out a couple of times, though. And he kissed me on the cheek last time we went out, but that doesn't mean anything. Not like a real kiss.

Axel came down first. He had spikey red hair like Reno's and green eyes. He was about as tall as Reno even though Reno was way older than him. Roxas followed him down. Roxas had deep, blue eyes like the ocean. His hair was a spikey, dirty blond mess. I honestly didn't know how they got their hair to do that. Sora's was the same way, only chocolate brown. "Hey guys," Roxas said. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, Namine and Sora are meeting us at the beach," I said. Kairi really liked Sora. She confided in me that she wanted to ask him out, but made me promise to never tell another living soul.

"Awesome! Let's get going," Roxas said. "See ya later, Reno."

"Bye guys," he said.

"You sure you don't want to come with us, bro?" Axel asked.

"Nah, I burn way too easy. You guys have fun," Reno replied.

We all piled in to Kairi's car. We talked and laughed the whole way to the part of the beach we were meeting Sora and Namine at. Roxas turned up the music without Kairi's permission and almost blew her speakers out. He had put in his Metallica CD, Ride the Lightning. Kairi turned it down a little so we wouldn't go deaf. We all liked similar kinds of music and the one band we could all agree on was Metallica. We had planned to go see them later this summer when they came to the Radiant Garden Expo Center. We had the tickets ordered ahead of time. We would be very close to the stage, close enough to see the sweat on Lars Ulrich's face. We were all so excited.

We arrived at the beach a few minutes later. Sora and Namine both brought all the blankets, chairs, and snacks. They understood that Kairi and I couldn't risk staying at the house to pack anything to bring. Both of their cars were crammed with stuff. I helped unload everything and get it all set up. After that I took off my shirt and shorts so I was wearing my black and purple bikini and I walked down to the water. Everyone else changed into their swimsuits as well. The sun felt so good. I knew I'd regret it later though because I burn very easily. Cid liked it when I was burned. It made it hurt worse when he beat me and violated me.

I was snapped out of my deep thought about Cid when Kairi splashed me. I squealed because the water felt cold on my hot skin at first. "Kairi," I said in surprise.

She giggled with amusement. "What, I was just trying to get you used to the water."

"I'll show you," I said, barely able to control my laughter. I ran up to her and tackled her back into the water. I wished I hadn't because salty water shot up my nose and down my throat! I gagged at the bitter taste. Kairi didn't get any water in her nose. She laughed even harder at me.

"What were you saying, Xion?" she said. "Were you trying to teach me a lesson?" Now she was just asking for it. I nodded to Sora, who was standing behind her, and we both bombarded her with splashes of water. I was having the time of my life! I couldn't remember when Kairi and I had had so much fun!

Sora eventually turned on me. He pulled out two small water guns that he had hidden and opened fire. I ran toward the beach as fast as I could to grab the even bigger water gun that was in Namine's trunk. This one was one of those that had the little compartment in it that you could stick a long piece of ice in it and make the water freezing cold. "Oh crap," Sora said when he saw me coming with the water gun. He turned around to try and run away, but I was faster than him. I pumped the water gun and unleashed my fury from his betrayal. The cold water made him squeal like a little girl.

"Hey, Xion," Roxas said. He seemed a little nervous about something, "will you take a walk with me? I need to ask you something important."

"Of course, Roxas," I said, brushing a lock of my midnight-colored hair from my face. He stared at me with his cerulean eyes.

"Thanks," he said. I was anxious to hear what he had to say. We walked in silence until we were far away from everyone else. "Xion, we need to talk…about us."

A feeling of dread crept into my heart. What did he mean by that? Was he breaking up with me before we even started dating? "What about us, Roxas?" I stuttered, fear inhibiting my speech.

"I've wanted to say this for a while, Xion, but I've been too nervous. I'm just going to say it. I love you, Xion. I have for a long time, but I've been too scared to tell you because I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way as I did," he managed to say in one breath. I stared at him in disbelief.

"Roxas…I don't know what to say! I'm so happy! I love you too!" I said. "But are you sure you want to get involved with me? I mean…you know that Cid abuses me." Kairi and I never told anyone else that he would constantly rape us. It was just too much to talk about. And would he still love me if he found out?

"I don't care about Cid, I care about you," he said. "Cid can go and die for all I care."

"You don't know how many times every day I wish he was dead," I said. And there were certain parts about him that made me wish I was dead!

"Well, he's an old man. How much longer can he live?" Roxas asked rhetorically. He chuckled a little and I smiled. He stared into my eyes for a while and smiled even more. He stepped closer to me until I was backed up against the cliffside we were walking along. He planted a passionate kiss on my lips. I returned it with equal passion. I twisted my fingers through his blond mess of hair as his hands became lost in my oil-black hair. I felt his hands descend down my body slowly. He was memorizing every curve. Every nerve ending that his fingers made contact with felt like live wires. His hands stopped at my bikini bottom and he started to pull it down.

"Roxas…please stop," I said. "Let's wait a while. I don't think I'm ready for this yet. I love you, but it's just too soon." I was telling the truth for once in my life. I wasn't ready to have sex yet. All the sex I'd had before was unwanted and forced upon. All I'd ever known was being raped…all I'd ever known was the physical and emotional pain of being violated in the worst way anyone can be. But there was another reason I didn't tell him. He knew I hadn't had many boyfriends before, and they weren't even anything serious. I was afraid he would find out I was raped when he saw I wasn't a virgin anymore. I could see in his eyes that he suspected Cid did more than beat us, but I'd never revealed it to him. I was too ashamed.

"But, Xion," he said. He complied though. "Ok, if that's what you want, I won't force myself on you. I love you too much to ever hurt you." His fingers gently traced one of the shallower scars on my waist. Roxas never saw my scars as something that made me unattractive. He still loved me even though I was damaged.

"Thank you, Roxas," I said as I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his chest. "I love you." After our little moment, we walked back to the beach with everyone. Sora teased us about disappearing for so long and Roxas threw a decent-sized seashell at his head. The shell hit him square between the eyes. He fell backwards; acting like Roxas had killed him. Kairi ran to his side, held him in her arms, and faked crying. She got a little theatrical with it like someone who was doing a very bad version of the suicide scene in Romeo and Juliet. We all laughed so hard, we couldn't breathe. I loved this little escape. Still, I knew that it had to end eventually and I'd have to leave Heaven and go back to my own, personal Hell.

The sun had almost set and we packed everything back into Sora and Namine's cars. Namine took Roxas and Axel back home because she was going that way anyway to go home. Kairi and I got into her car. She started the ignition and put it in drive. "You ready to go back, Kai," I asked.

"I'm never ready to go home. I hate it there, but what can we do about it?" she mused.

"Nothing, that's what we can do about it. Absolutely nothing," I said sourly.

"I guess it will be like this until we're finally able to move out," she said. We planned to get a small apartment in Twilight Town together after we graduated this year. We would have to sneak out when Cid was asleep because he would probably kill us if we ever tried to leave. An evil side of me wished he would die before then.

"Yeah, I guess it will be," I said, despair providing a thick coating for my voice.

We arrived home and Kairi parked her car in the driveway. Cid's truck was home and the lights were on in the house. We sat there in the darkness of the night. It was the last sanctuary we would have that night. We knew all too well what would happen the moment we stepped through that door.

Kairi got out first and I followed soon after. We walked up to our crappy little dump that we called home and I opened the door. Cid was sitting in his chair watching TV with a half-empty bottle of cheap whiskey in his hand. "Great," I thought. He was always worse when he was drinking. Mean drunk isn't the phrase to describe him. But there are many, more colorful words that could!

He didn't seem to notice us at first. We tried to sneak to our rooms. I hoped he had drunk himself to death or something. We almost made it to the hallway when we heard his thick, southern drawl behind us. "You girls didn' think ya'll were a'gonna get away with not havin' a little 'family time' did ya?"

"Kairi, run and lock yourself in your room, now!" I yelled at my twin.

"But Xion," she pleaded.

"Just go! I'll handle him tonight," I said. I was willing to sacrifice myself to save Kairi from the horrible things he was going to do to her. She turned around and ran for her room. She locked the door and probably barricaded it with a chair or her dresser. Cid slowly staggered toward me. "Just get it over with, old man," I said bitterly. The pure hate I felt for the worthless thing standing in front of me was thick in my voice.

"What's the matter, little whore?" he said. "Not in the mood tonight?" he managed to slur through his intoxication. He tackled me and grabbed me by my hair. He dragged me to his bedroom and locked the door. It was always the same routine. He repeatedly punched me in the face until one of my lips bled. When I was weakened, he stripped me naked. Cid grabbed a piece of glass from where some kids broke his window last week. He made long, deep cuts across my body with the makeshift knife. I looked down at my exposed, vulnerable body to see it was pouring blood the color of mine and Kairi's hair. Well, my natural hair color anyway.

I groaned in pain from the wounds he had inflicted. It turned him on even more! I closed my eyes because I knew what was coming next. "Cid…please…stop!" I begged. Begging never did any good at all. But I didn't know what else to do. I cringed as I felt him desecrate the most sacred place of my body. He was rough. It hurt so much!

"Shut up, you whiny little slut!" he said hatefully as he destroyed my spirit and broke my heart. I couldn't stop thinking about Roxas. He wouldn't do this to me. He wouldn't hurt me. He would be gentle and loving. He wouldn't do anything I didn't want him to. "Tell me this is the best you ever had! Say it now!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. I know Kairi heard it through the thin walls.

"It's the best I've ever had," I whimpered through my heavy sobbing. I knew that it would be over with quicker if I just did as he said and didn't resist. Cid had broken my spirit years ago. I can't even remember the first time he raped me. I think it was our first night here. My face was stained with tears.

"That's a good little whore," he said mockingly. I hated it when he called me a whore. I wasn't a whore! I could never decide what hurt worse: the rape, the beatings, or his cruel, heart-breaking words. I could hear Kairi in her room screaming and crying out to God. She was begging him to protect me. I didn't see what good it was doing, but then again, that could have been the reason Cid never killed me for all I knew. Cid heard her too, apparently.

"What's Sister Christian doin' in there?" he said. "Hey, shut up!" he yelled. It only made Kairi cry harder. I loved and respected Kairi so much. She held firm to her convictions and she never backed down. She wasn't perfect, but she never claimed to be perfect. She just tried her hardest to live the way she felt was right in her heart.

I thought I was going to pass out from the pain, humiliation, and loss of blood. Cid saw he had pretty much used up all the fun he was going to get from me. He pulled away from me and coldly tossed my bikini to me. He almost tripped over my shorts and I thought he was going to fall. The way he would have fallen, he would have hit his head on the nightstand. "Get out before I decide I'm not done with ya," he said coldly. He didn't have to tell me twice. I got up and got out of there.

I knocked on Kairi's door. "Kai, it's me," I said. "Can you let me in?" I asked. She opened her door. "Can I stay in here with you tonight?" Tears were streaming from my eyes. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying.

"Of course, Xion," she said. She saw the fresh cuts all over my broken body and fished the first aid kit from under her bed. We had both gotten used to treating each other's wounds. If we didn't, we would probably die of infections. The stuff he used to cut us wasn't exactly clean. "Xion, I'm sorry," she said apologetically.

"What do you have to be sorry about, Kai?" I asked.

"You had to go through all that and I didn't," she said. "I should have never run away."

"But then he would have raped both of us, sis," I said. "I'm willing to go through anything if it means keeping you safe." I said.

"Thank you, Xion," she said. "I love you, sis."

"I love you too, Kairi," I said. When she was finished bandaging me up, I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arms around her. I loved my twin sister more than anything. She was literally my other half. She was the only real family I had left. We knew everything about each other. Sometimes, I even believed we could know what the other was thinking. We were so alike; both mentally and physically. Actually, if I hadn't dyed my hair black, no one would be able to tell us apart.

Kairi's bed was big enough that we could both sleep on it comfortably. I drifted off into a deep and dreamless sleep.

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><p>So guys, what do you think? Chapter two is in the works. It's going to take a closer look into their past. This story is going to take place during the whole summer. I'm actually going to write the Metallica concert in a much later chapter. I may even continue through their senior year. Until next time...<p> 


	2. Pain from Yesterday and Pain from Today

Author's Note: Hey, slow update. This chapter will take a small look into their past. I hope you enjoy this and check out my "Hearts of the Olympians" story. A Percy Jackson/Kingdom Hearts crossover. It also has some crossover with Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis. And also check out "Nobody's Heartless" by Dragginninja. You will really like it. Enjoy...

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><p>I woke up the next morning very groggy and very sore. I ached all over my body. My bandages were crimson and my skin was different shades of purple, blue, and greenish yellow from the beating last night. I slowly crawled out of the bed, trying not to wake Kairi.<p>

I grabbed the first aid kit and tip-toed to the bathroom. I pulled my bandages off and applied new ones after cleaning my wounds. Thankfully, they hadn't gotten worse while I was asleep. I couldn't take a regular shower because of the bandages. I took a sponge bath. Cid had really done a number on me this time. I would have a new batch of scars on me. I looked at the ugly scars that marred my body. Why did Cid have to do that to me? I knew Kairi's body looked the same way. What did Roxas think about all my scars? He told me he didn't mind, that I was beautiful to him no matter what, but I knew that, at some level, they had to bother him.

I grabbed a pink tank top and a pair of shorts from my closet. Cid hadn't woken up yet. Kairi was awake though. We were going to hang out together. It was just going to be the two of us. We were going to grab something to eat, go to the movies, and spend some time at the beach. We would be getting away from Cid for the whole day. On days like that, we knew all too well that we would have to return to our Hell at some point, but we at least had to act like our lives didn't completely suck.

I went back to Kairi's room and grabbed my iPod and cellphone from her nightstand. We snuck out the front door and made a break for her car. She started the car and we pulled out of the driveway. "Xion, can I ask you something?" she asked with concern in her voice. She seemed to be deep in thought about what she had asked me.

"Sure, Kai. You can ask me anything you want."

"Do you ever think about dad?" she asked. "Like, what he's up to…is he still alive…is he happy?"

"I couldn't care less about that piece of trash," I said coldly. "If I found out he was dead, I wouldn't shed a single tear for him! Why do you ask? Do you miss him?"

"Of course I do, Xion," she said honestly. I could tell she was starting to cry, but was holding back her tears. "I've forgiven him for what he did to us. Sure, he left us with Cid and hasn't bothered to even call us all these years, but he's still our father. I still love him."

"That makes one of us then," I said. "Like I said, he can die for all I care." I resented our dad for abandoning us with that pile of filth that we were unfortunately related to.

Cid was mom's only brother. He didn't even cry for her at the funeral. He didn't come when mom was dying in the hospital. We called him and asked him to come and be with her one last time before she passed on, but instead he went out to a bar with some old buddies. He was a truly pathetic excuse for a human being. I think the only good thing that had ever come from his miserable existence was Namine. She was his polar opposite. Namine was one of the sweetest people I'd ever known. Our blond cousin reminded me so much of Kairi. They could have been sisters. I wished I could have been as kind, compassionate, and forgiving as Kairi and Namine.

"I know you still love dad," Kairi said. "You're not a cruel person, Xion. You really would cry if dad was dead."

"Let's just drop the subject, Kai. Irvine Kinneas is dead to me," I said with slight annoyance in my voice. It wasn't really so much that I didn't want to talk to Kairi; the reason was that she was actually right. I did miss dad. I still loved him even though I didn't want to admit it.

"If you say so, Xion," she said as she puffed out a sigh. "What do you want to do first?" she asked, changing the subject like I had asked her to.

"I don't know," I said. "Let's go to the mall first." I enjoyed going to the mall. I enjoyed anything really that put some distance between me and Cid.

"Ok," she said. She turned the stereo on and listened to some music. Roxas had left his CD in her car from when we went to the beach the day before. We listened to the instrumental, "The Call of Ktulu", on the way to the mall. "Hey, Xion," she asked.

I turned toward my beautiful sister. "Yeah, Kai?"

"Do you think I could ask Sora out or wait for him to ask me?" she stated.

"Whatever you feel is right for you. But I would suggest making your move. You'll never know how he feels until you do," I said.

"I guess you're right. Thanks Xion," she said.

"You're welcome, Kai," I said. We sat in silence for the rest of the ride. She smiled the whole way. I could tell she was thinking about Sora. They would be good together. We'd both known Sora for a long time. He was a good guy. I just knew he'd treat my older twin the way she deserved to be treated.

We arrived at the mall a few minutes later. It was a decently sized mall. There were tons of clothing stores, a movie theater, a dollar store, and a music store. Roxas and our other friend, Demyx, practically lived in that store. It was owned by dad's former best friend, Squall Leonhart and his wife, Rinoa.

We went to the music store first. Kairi needed to get some new strings for her guitar and Cid told her to pick up some banjo picks for him. He'd beat her if she didn't get them. "Hello Kairi, hello Xion," Rinoa Leonhart said cheerfully. She was very nice. I had no idea how good people like her and Squall could be friends with a lowlife like our dad. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Hey, Rinoa," Kairi responded. "I need some new banjo picks for Cid and a set of Ernie Ball regular Slinkys for me." Kairi was a really good guitarist. She could make her electric guitar scream, cry, and sing like I'd never heard. I didn't know how her fingers could move so fast. She tried to teach me, but I could never remember all the chord patterns and stuff like that. I did, however, play bass and drums. Kairi and I would play music with Roxas and Demyx every now and then. Demyx and Kairi played guitar, I played bass, and Roxas sang.

"Coming right up," Mrs. Leonhart said. Kairi picked out some finger picks from the little container next to the cash register while Rinoa grabbed the small, green pack of guitar strings from one of the hangers behind her. She paid for the items and we started to leave the store. Kairi looked at each guitar that we passed like it was killing her to not be able to play each and every single one. I couldn't see why, though. She had two at home. One was a black B.C. Rich Warlock with tribal flames on the body. That one was her favorite. The other one was the blue Squire Strat that she first learned to play guitar with. It had been a Christmas present from mom and dad when we were nine. She never played it anymore after she got the Warlock because of its inferior quality to the Warlock. I played it when she tried to teach me and I didn't see what made it so bad, but she told me that I would know if I ever played anything else.

I was looking at Kairi and not paying attention to where I was going when we bumped into Roxas and Demyx. "Roxas, I'm sorry," I apologized. "Hey Demyx."

"Hey, Xion," Roxas said. "It's ok, you didn't hurt me." He kissed me, but it was too quick for me.

"Hi Kairi, hi Xion," Demyx greeted cheerfully. "What brings you two here?"

"New strings," Kairi said. "The high E string on my Warlock snapped last night and hit me in the face," she said, pointing to the long, thin, red mark on her cheek. That happened to her a lot. There was a lot of tension on that little string. I was glad the thick strings on my bass didn't break so easily.

"Ouch," he said. Demyx knew all too well that those things could happen. He hadn't been playing as long as Kairi had. She taught him a little bit. Kairi was truly an amazing guitarist. I hadn't been given the same talent, but my talents were in other areas. I was a better bassist than drummer and I could also sketch pretty well. I would draw my friends, my favorite video game and movie characters, and sketches of nature.

"You girls want to jam at my place tonight? Sora will be there," Roxas said. He looked at Kairi when he mentioned Sora. She blushed when Roxas mentioned his name. "He'll also be bringing his cousins, Vanitas and Ventus." I had met Van and Ven only once before. It was at Sora's last birthday party. Ven looked just like Roxas. Roxas was somehow related to Sora, but I couldn't remember how. Vanitas looked exactly like Sora, except Vanitas had black hair. Vanitas also wore yellow contacts because he thought they made him look cool. I thought it just made him look weird. I liked Ven, but I was always suspicious of Vanitas for some reason. I didn't trust him. I always thought he was planning something evil behind everyone's backs.

"That would be awesome," I said with a big smile on my face. I really liked it when we would go to Roxas' house and play music. He had a shed behind his house. Kairi, Demyx, and I brought our own instruments. Roxas just had his guitar, a microphone, and a drum kit in the shed. He also had a full recording studio set up and we would record ourselves. Sora and I alternated playing drums and bass. Sora was way better at drums than I was and he always showed me up. I showed him up on bass though.

Another reason I loved going to Roxas' place, we always ended up staying really late. We either didn't come home, or when we would get home, Cid was passed out from the booze he constantly drank. I was hoping that one day Kairi and I would find him dead from alcohol poisoning. Kairi didn't feel that way though. With her beliefs, she was obligated to constantly forgive Cid for all he did to us. I didn't know how she did it. I could have never been that way. She had a greater capacity for love than I could have ever hoped for. In a way, I was hoping Kairi was right about the afterlife. Because if she was, I knew where Cid was going when he died.

"Let us just finish up here and we'll be over there at about 5," Kairi said. It was already 3. She really wanted to go and get a new shirt from Hot Topic and a pair of jeans from Aeropostale. She saw an awesome Megadeth shirt on the website and she wanted to get it. We had seen Megadeth in concert the year before. When I first listened to them, it was hard for me to see Dave Mustaine as anything more than "the guy that got kicked out of Metallica," but then I really listened to them and started to like them. I still liked Metallica better though.

"Ok, see you two later," Roxas said. "Bye beautiful." He kissed me, once again too quickly for my liking.

"Bye," I said. "See you."

We went to Hot Topic first. Kairi found the shirt she wanted and I picked up an Iron Maiden shirt that was on sale. Next was Aeropostale. We both bought two new pairs of jeans each. Kairi's were lighter and had holes in the knees and thighs, but they were slightly different. Both of mine were dark skinny jeans. I liked the way they felt better than the looser jeans that Kairi wore. They felt like a second skin and I thought they were very comfortable. "Oh, look at the time," Kairi gasped. It was 4:30 pm. "We're supposed to be at Roxas' house in 30 minutes."

We left the mall and piled into her car. Cid was out buying more whiskey so we snuck into the house and got our instruments. We put them in her trunk and peeled out of our driveway. We pulled into Roxas and Axel's driveway at 4:55, five minutes early. We got our instruments and walked to the front door. "Hey," Axel said when he answered the door. "We've been waiting on you two. Now, we just have to wait for Vanitas and Ven and it will be a party."

"I thought they were coming with Sora," Kairi asked.

"They decided to come themselves. Vanitas said he wanted to drive."

"Oh," she said.

"Well, come on it. Make yourselves at home," Roxas' red-headed brother said. We walked into the living room and saw Roxas, Sora, and Demyx sitting around watching TV. I took a seat on the couch next to Roxas and he put his arm around me.

"Hey, baby," he said. He kissed me a little bit longer than he did at the mall since we were at his house among friends.

"Hey, Rox," I responded.

"Have you guys heard from Ven and Vanitas?" Sora interjected, ruining our moment. But I forgave him. He was concerned about his cousins.

"I've not heard anything," I said. About the time I said that, though, the phone rang.

Sora walked over to the phone and looked at the caller ID. It was Vanitas' cellphone. "Hello," he answered. He looked scared. "What? How did this happen? Are they ok?" He was really bothered by what that person was saying. "Ok, we'll be there ASAP," he said as he hung up.

"Sora, what's wrong?" Roxas asked, concerned for his best friend.

"Vanitas and Ven have been in an accident and are at Destiny Islands General Hospital. I don't know any details cause the person that called me didn't have any details. I'm so scared!" Sora said with tears starting to well up in his eyes.

"Oh God, we've got to get there right away," I said. We darted from Roxas' living room and piled into Kairi's car. She didn't usually speed, but she went well over the legal limit on the way to the hospital. Sora's nose started to bleed from the stress he was under. I felt bad for him. He didn't know if his cousins, who were like brothers to him, were alive or dead. He sat in the back seat and Kairi would occasionally glance back at him. Roxas had his arm around him, trying to comfort his best friend.

Kairi pulled into the parking lot and managed to get a spot close to the Emergency Room doors. We practically jumped out of her car and sprinted toward the front desk. The emergency room was empty except for us and a short, blond-haired woman at the front desk. "We need to see Vanitas and Ventus Almasy. They're my cousins. Are they ok?" Sora asked frantically.

"I'm sorry, but Ventus died at the scene and has been transferred to the morgue. Vanitas is in critical condition and is in surgery," the woman at the desk said. "You may wish to contact their parents because we couldn't find any contact information on them." The blood drained from Sora's face as the woman told him about Ven's death. The tears he had been holding back came flooding out of his eyes in a heartbreaking display of grief, anger, and pain. He stumbled over to one of the many empty chairs and gripped his chest like his heart and lungs would fall out if he didn't. It broke my heart to see him like this. Kairi sat to his right and comforted him. She embraced him in her arms and poured all the love in her heart out to him. She gently ran her long fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek and the top of his head as she whispered comforting words to him. She really, truly loved him with all her heart. He looked into her big, violet-blue eyes with his cerulean eyes and they spoke volumes to each other without even saying a word.

"Sora, are you ready to call their parents? Seifer and Fuu have to find out eventually and I'm sure they'd rather find out from you than from a stranger," Kairi said. She rubbed his arm lovingly as he grieved for his cousin.

"Yeah," he said through his tears. Kai handed him her cellphone and he dialed his uncle's number. "Hey, uncle Seifer, it's Sora. Ven and Vanitas have been in a horrible accident…No they aren't ok. Ven is dead and they don't know if Vanitas is going to be ok." I heard Seifer yelling at Sora. I thought I heard him calling Sora a liar. Then he yelled at their mother, Fuu. Seifer yelled a lot. I guessed it was his way of dealing with things. Sora just took his berating. He understood his uncle. "Ok, see you soon. Bye." Sora hung up and handed Kairi's phone back to her. "Thanks, Kai," he said.

"You're welcome," my sister responded. "I just want you to know, Sora, I'm always here for you."

"Thank you so much, Kai," Sora said. He continued to cry into my wonderful sibling's shoulder.

We sat in the lobby for close to an hour. We waited very impatiently for an update on Vanitas. In the back of my mind, I wondered if he did this on purpose. The evil thought was quickly banished from my mind. Van wasn't the nicest guy I knew, but he would never murder Ven. His brother was his best friend. Sora had told me that Ven used to be bullied when they were younger. Vanitas would always stick up for him. He took a beating for Ven during their sophomore year in high school. He loved his brother like I loved my sister.

"I just can't believe he's gone," Roxas said. "Ven was such a nice guy."

"Roxas, I don't think…" I started to say.

"No, it's ok, Xion," Sora interrupted me. "It will help to talk about Ven. I can't believe he's gone either. I just talked to him on the phone before you and Kai showed up, Xion. He told me that he had written the lyrics for a new song that he wanted us to learn and Vanitas had written the music." Ven and Vanitas were our songwriters. Ven didn't play any instruments, but he could write lyrics better than the rest of us put together. I wrote a few songs, but I never told anyone except Kairi. "I think we should learn it as a tribute to Ven after this is all over."

No sooner than he finished his sentence, a nurse found us. "Are you the friends of Vanitas Almasy?" he asked. "He's conscious and ready for visitors. He's stabilized and didn't need much surgery."

"Thank you, sir," Sora said politely. The nurse led us to his room and left us alone with him.

"Hey guys," Vanitas managed, albeit weakly, to say. "Do I look as bad as I feel?"

"Nah, you don't look too bad," Roxas said jokingly to try and make Vanitas feel better. Truthfully, he looked awful. If he looked this bad and survived, I would have hated to see Ven's mangled remains.

"Liar," he chuckled. "Well, I guess it isn't so bad. Ven and I should be out of here in no time." We all looked at him sadly and a puzzled expression formed on his face. "What, did I say something?"

"They didn't tell you about Ven?" Sora asked. "He died at the scene. That accident was even worse than you think."

"No," Vanitas responded. "You're lying! Ven isn't dead! You freakin' liar! How could you even joke about something like that? Ven is alive! He can't be dead." Vanitas started crying his eyes out at the loss of his twin brother. He cursed fiercely under his breath. I would probably be the exact same way if Kairi died. I don't know how I would survive if Kai were to die. "Ven…no…why Ven? Why couldn't it be me instead?" Vanitas managed to choke out through his constant sobs. He was starting to accept Ven's death. They say there are five stages of grief; denial, anger, sadness, bargaining, and acceptance. I had just witnessed him go through all of them at once. Sora walked over to Vanitas and consoled his grieving cousin.

Seifer came barging into the hospital room. "How did this happen?" he yelled at his son. "What did you do to let this happen, you piece of dirt! You were texting, weren't you?"

"No, I wasn't, dad," Vanitas yelled back. "I don't remember how it happened. I was hit pretty hard on the head! I don't remember anything about the accident and I just now woke up in this room!"

Seifer walked over to Vanitas and backhanded him. "Hey, the guy's been through a lot you idiot! You have no right to treat him like this," I screamed. I couldn't hold my peace any longer. I knew what it felt like to be abused. "Why don't you go and calm down, then you can come back!" Seifer took the hint and stormed out of the room. I went over to Vanitas' bedside. There was a red, hand-shaped mark on his cheek from where his father smacked him. Vanitas didn't deserve to be treated like that. If Seifer could do that to his own son without any remorse, it made me afraid for his wife, Fuu. She was always so quiet all the times I'd seen her. She only spoke in one-word sentences. We all hugged Vanitas tightly while he cried for the loss of his only brother.

Visiting hours were eventually over and we had to head back to Roxas' house. We piled into Kairi's car and she drove back. We sat mostly in silence. The only sound was coming from her stereo. She had one of her Muse CD's in the CD player. Supermassive Black Hole was playing, but none of us were paying attention to it. Seifer and Fuu had been called to the morgue to identify Ven. I could only imagine what Fuu was going through. Sora's parents came to see Vanitas and console Seifer, Fuu, and Vanitas for their loss. We were all damaged by the events of that day.

We arrived at Roxas' house. We would all be staying there all night. None of us had the intention to sleep though. We were going to spend the night in remembrance of Ven. We were also going to learn and record the song he had written for us over the next few days. They found the piece of paper in Ven's pocket that had the lyrics written on it. Vanitas gave us a sheet of paper with the chords written on it. We would do this as a tribute to Ven. He would want us to do this song to the best of our ability.

"So, what kind of song is this supposed to be anyway," Sora asked. He would be playing drums, I'd be playing the bass parts, Kairi on lead guitar, Demyx would play the rhythm guitar, and Roxas would sing. When I say Kairi was a great guitarist, I really meant it. Most girls I knew that played guitar only learned so they could play Taylor Swift and stuff like that, but not Kairi. She was all heavy metal. She could play blindingly fast solos that she just came up with off the top of her head. I didn't know how her fingers could move so fast. She was really gifted.

"I don't know. We might want to wait for Vanitas to get out of the hospital so he can explain what ideas they had for the song," Demyx replied. "I want this to be what Ven had originally intended."

"So, what do you guys want to do for the night?" I asked.

"I don't know," Sora responded. "Let's order a pizza while something is still open."

"Ok, call it in and I'll go get it," I said. I didn't mind going to pick up a pizza. Sora dialed the local pizza place and ordered 2 large pizzas.

"You want me to go with you?" Kairi asked.

"I don't mind going myself. I'll only be a few minutes," I said. I borrowed Kairi's car and drove to the restaurant. It was only a few minutes from Roxas' house, but my house was on the way. I looked at my personal Hell and saw that Cid's truck was home.

I picked up the pizzas and started to head back to Roxas' house. I was driving past my house when suddenly Kairi's tire popped. I skidded to a stop at the side of the road. I got out to check it. The tire was completely deflated and a nail was sticking in it. Someone must have placed it there trying to be funny. I started to go to the trunk and get the spare when I felt uneasy. I felt like someone was watching me. I stuck the key in the trunk and started to turn it when I someone grabbed me from behind. A hand towel was shoved in my mouth to stifle my screams. A long, hairy arm was around my neck while the other one was around my waist. I tried to scream, but the towel was shoved too far in my mouth. I almost choked on it. "Hold still, little whore," the familiar voice said. I immediately knew who had me. It was Cid.

Once again, he dragged me to his bedroom and went through the usual ritual of beating me before he removed my clothing. I was still wearing the bandages from the night before. He slowly ripped them off. He then proceeded to cut me with a dirty razor. I felt lightheaded from the loss of blood. If I didn't get help, I would get an infection if I didn't bleed out first. But Cid was experienced enough by now to not cut me in a way that would cause me to bleed out. He wasn't that merciful. In my mind, I wished for death. I felt like the man in the Metallica song, "One." I wanted to die and be out of this misery.

He was just about to rape me when he heard my phone ring on the dresser. He left me for a minute while he went to my phone to smash it. I took advantage of this momentary freedom to make a break for the door. Cid saw me and gave chase. I didn't care that I was naked; I just had to get out of there. If I got arrested, jail would be better than this. It was a good thing Cid was old and I was young. He couldn't catch up with me. I darted through the yard and down the street. Thankfully, this neighborhood was one of those that shut down after 9 PM.

I ran and I ran until I reached Roxas' house about ten minutes later. I frantically knocked on the door. Roxas opened the door and saw me broken, bleeding, and exposed. I tried to cover myself as best I could. I was embarrassed for him to see me like this. He grabbed the blanket that they always kept near the couch and wrapped it around me. "Xion, what happened to you?" he asked. I didn't have it in me to tell him that Cid raped me. Thankfully, Cid hadn't started to actually rape me yet, so there was no evidence of it.

"I got mugged on the side of the road when I got a flat tire. I didn't see my attacker," I lied. "He beat me and took my clothes."

"Oh, Xion," my boyfriend said. He wrapped his arms around me and comforted me as I cried into his shoulders. He was far too good for me. I was lying to him like it was nothing, but I just couldn't bring myself to admit that Cid constantly raped me.

"What happened here?" Sora said frantically. Kairi had her arm around his waist. I guessed that she told him how she felt about him. I was happy for her. She looked at me, knowing what happened to me. She had seen these bruises and cuts before. She had them herself.

"Xion was attacked and robbed. He beat her and took her clothes," Roxas replied. "Kairi, go get her some of those extra clothes that you two keep here." We were practically fixtures here. We kept clothes, toothbrushes, and pretty much everything else here. We had a room that was reserved for when we stayed here. We would move out of Cid's and move here in a heartbeat, but people would talk. People could always find something to talk about. It would be somewhat like this, 'Did you hear about those Kinneas twins? They moved in with Roxas and Axel Hikari! I can't believe Roxas' and Axel's parents would allow that!'

Kairi went up to our room and fished out some clothes for me. I changed in the bathroom and cleaned my wounds with the first aid kit. I was so embarrassed about what happened to me. Kairi helped me to our room and I went to bed. She insisted on staying with me, but I told her to go and have fun with the rest of our friends. She wouldn't listen, though, and stayed with me the whole night. I was glad she stayed with me. I really needed my sister at that time. Cid had caused me so much pain. I was happy to have someone who understood.

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><p>Author's Note: How did you like it? Remember to review if you want. These updates will be slow, but a little faster than they have been. I'm working on "Hearts of the Olympians" alongside this. I'm also getting a job soon so updates will come slower after that. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	3. A Little Taste of Heaven

Author's Note: Hey, shorter chapter than I usually post. Only seven pages on Microsoft Word. I usually have a 10 page minimum, but I couldn't flesh this chapter out anymore.

I do not own Kingdom Hearts. I also don't own the song, "I Play Dead." It was written by Demon Hunter on their 2004 album, Summer of Darkness. They are awesome if you haven't heard of them. It's a very great album too. It has collaborations with The Agony Scene, 36 Crazyfists, Thousand Foot Krutch, and Killswitch Engage. Enjoy...

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><p>A few days had passed. We didn't dare to go back home yet. Cid would probably kill us if we did. We stayed at Roxas' the whole time. His parents said they didn't care for us to be there, but I could tell they had been a little wary since Roxas and I started dating.<p>

Vanitas had been let out of the hospital and they had planned Ven's funeral. It would be a closed-casket service; they said there wasn't enough left of him to have his coffin open. I really didn't want to see him like that anyway. I hadn't even had it in me to look at mom at her funeral. The thought of mom pained my heart. I missed her so much.

Kai and I had snuck into our house to get our dresses for the funeral. We didn't like to dress up so those were the only dresses we owned. I had bought it when Kairi talked me into going to church with her last Easter. It was a simple, black dress that came down a little past my knees. I wore black heels with it and left my hair down because it wasn't long enough to pull back. Kairi's dress was similar to mine. She pulled her crimson hair back, something she never did unless it was a ponytail when we would play sports. She was so beautiful. I guess I was too, since I looked just like her with jet-black hair, but I never thought of myself that way. I didn't really have much self-esteem.

I looked into the mirror. I didn't really see myself though, I saw Ventus. I never even really got to know him. Ven and Vanitas lived all the way at Twilight Town and didn't come down here often. Ven would always call Sora and tell him what he wrote or email Sora the lyrics and Vanitas would tell him how the songs went. Vanitas would be moving down here to go to the small community college this little island had. Ven was going to come with him, but that wasn't going to happen now. Ven's death was untimely to say the least. He was only nineteen, fresh out of high school. He was far too young to die. A few tears escaped my violet eyes. "You ready to go, Xion?" Kairi asked me. "Roxas, Axel, and Sora are downstairs waiting on us."

I turned to my sister. "Yeah, I guess we can't put this off any longer." We walked down the stairs and met up with our friends. "You guys ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah," Roxas said sadly. Sora just had a blank stare on his face. He was rattled to the core. It was just so unexpected. It didn't work out the way it seemed like it should have.

What should have happened was Ven and Vanitas would come to Roxas' house. Ven would show us the new song (which we still hadn't even read) and we would learn it. We didn't expect to get big, but we were pretty well-known locally. I guess it was because we were the only band around. After we learned the song, we would all hang out and have fun like normal teenagers. We were never supposed to go to the hospital and see Vanitas broken and bleeding. Ven wasn't supposed to be dead and we weren't supposed to be burying a nineteen-year-old today.

Roxas' parents drove us to the funeral parlor. Seifer and Fuu decided to bury Ven here because most of the family lived here on the main island. Afterward, they would be going back to Twilight Town and Vanitas was staying here with Sora. I would think Van would want to stay with his parents a little longer, but his mom had insisted for him to move here. I knew the real reason Fuu wanted him to move out. Vanitas was physically abused by Seifer. I'd seen it that night in the hospital when Seifer backhanded him.

The funeral home was beautifully decorated. There were dozens of flower arrangements around Ven's casket. They did little to mask the smell of death, though. I put my right hand on my forehead as images of Ven flooded my mind. I was sickened at the pictures that endlessly looped through my head. Images of what he must have looked like in that sealed coffin haunted me as we walked through the room. They said there wasn't much left of him and that left my imagination with plenty to work with. I felt a little acid try to work its way up my throat and I felt like I was going to vomit from the horrible images that filled my every thought.

"You ok, Xion?" my twin sister asked me. She saw how I looked uneasy and was worried about me. She always worried about me, and I even worried about myself sometimes.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied once again. Once again, I was never fine. But this time, I'd save the pity party for some other time. We were here to grieve for Ven, not to talk about my problems.

"Ok," she stated simply. She knew I was lying.

We took our seats toward the front. I sat next to Roxas and Kairi sat next to Sora. Vanitas and his parents were beside Sora. Axel and his parents were beside Roxas. The whole scene was so sad. The minister delivered Ven's eulogy. The whole service was beautiful and depressing at the same time. People who loved Ven mourned his loss. His aunt Yuna sang "Amazing Grace", friends and family spoke of how much they would miss him, and people walked up to the coffin and looked at the picture they had set on top of it since the casket was closed. It seemed like it was over before it even started. The room started to clear out as they carried Ven's body out to the hearse.

"I can't believe this is real," I said.

"Me either," Kairi replied. "I didn't even get to know him aside from those few times I talked to him on the phone."

"What? When did those happen?" I asked. I didn't know she had talked to him.

"He had been going through a lot of problems a few weeks before he died. Sora asked me if I could help," she said. "He asked me all kinds of questions that I really don't want to say. He told me things in confidence and I don't really want to break that. I didn't think I could really do anything, but he said I'd really helped him." Kairi was such a good person.

"You're an amazing person, you know that?" I stated.

"Not really," she replied modestly. "I just try to treat people the way I would want to be treated."

"Yeah, you are amazing," I said. She didn't protest this time.

We rode in the car to the gravesite and watched Ven be lowered into the ground and be covered up with dirt and flower arrangements. The dates on the tombstone were April 21, 1992-May 24, 2011. He had been far too young to die. Vanitas, Seifer, and Fuu were taking it the hardest. Vanitas said goodbye to his parents for now and the broken family left for Twilight Town without either of their sons.

We all made it back to Roxas' house later that night. "You guys ready to look at that song?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah, I want to find out what it says," I replied.

"Ven told me it was the most personal song he'd ever written," Vanitas said. His voice and eyes both held so much pain from the loss of his brother. "It's called 'I Play Dead'. The verses are supposed to be soft and then it gets heavy during the pre-chorus and is somewhere in the middle during the chorus if that makes sense. I know how it's supposed to sound in my head. Here, read the lyrics as I sing it." Vanitas was a good singer. He could also do an awesome death growl. He took out the piece of paper with Ven's final song written on it and sang it as we all read along with him.

_I play dead again. It just might stop before the end._

_If I pretend, you may not see the pain I'm in._

_So close to me, can't tell what I'm supposed to be._

_Don't stop to breathe, can't bear to think what you might see._

_This tourniquet, these blessed hands around my head._

_So I can keep from…_

Vanitas started screaming the pre-chorus twice.

_Bleeding._

_I've got to find a way to stop before it starts._

_Finding its way through my veins right to my heart_

_I never thought of something everyone can see._

_And it kills within me._

He started singing the chorus.

_I won't, I won't leave without a trace._

_I won't be erased._

Vanitas sang the second verse as gently as the first.

_It's in my head. I can't forget what you once said._

_The words I read, the fractured soul that I can't mend._

_Right here with me, killing the void I used to be._

_Remembering through fading sparks of memory._

_Two broken hands lift seven wounds and fight to stand._

_To keep the lungs from…_

_Caving._

"The pre-chorus repeats after that and then the chorus," Vanitas said. "He told me that this song reflected how he felt inside. He had been having it rough these last few weeks. He said that he was trying to figure out who he was inside and was getting frustrated because he couldn't find any answers." He looked at Kairi with a grateful smile. "Kai, you really helped him. I don't know what you two talked about, but whatever you told him, you made the last few weeks of his life the happiest he ever had. I'm so thankful to you." He walked over to my sister and wrapped his arms around her while he cried for his brother.

"It's ok, Vanitas," she said. "Your brother loved you so much. He told me he did."

"There's also a bridge," he said.

_Turning, it's moving._

_Escaping right through me._

_I care not, I bleed not, for you I believe not._

_I play dead. I play dead. I play dead. I play dead._

"The chorus repeats after that and that's the end of the song. You think you can sing this, Roxas?" Vanitas finished.

"Actually, I think it would be right if you sang it. I think Ven would really want that," Roxas said.

"But this is your band, Roxas," Vanitas said. "What will you do?"

"I'll do the background vocals," my boyfriend said. "What do ya say, Vanitas?"

Van thought about it for a moment. "Ok, I'll do it. I'll do it for Ven."

The week came and went like a blur. We practiced the song almost all day, every day. Vanitas took a few tries before he could sing the song without breaking down. Roxas sang the screaming parts of the chorus, and Vanitas sang during the chorus and verses but screamed the pre-chorus. We eventually got it right. "I Play Dead" was a success and we recorded it without a single flaw.

"I think we've got it," Sora said.

"I'm really impressed, guys," Axel said. We hadn't seen him until he said that.

"How long have you been watching us?" Roxas asked.

"Long enough," Axel replied simply. "But what I came in here to tell you guys is you've been asked to open at the Paopu Festival this summer." The Paopu Festival was the biggest event this little island had all summer. I guess it was just like any other fair, but it was special around here. Everyone came for fun, music, carnival rides, and food.

"You serious, Axel?" Roxas asked. "You're not just messing with us, are you?"

Roxas' red-haired brother just rolled his eyes at him. "I'm being 100% serious about this. You guys are going to be the opening act. Got it memorized?" I was so excited, but nervous too. I'd never played in front of so many people before. And with Vanitas being the newest addition to the group, he had to learn all of our songs really fast. Oh well, something good was going to happen for once in my life. I really didn't have anything to worry about. "Oh, and Namine called. She's on her way here with Tifa."

"Awesome," I said. I really liked it when Namine and Tifa came over. "Doesn't Tifa have to work, though?"

"Her boyfriend, Cloud, is going to take over tonight," Axel said. Cloud Strife was an alright guy. He didn't talk much, but that wasn't a problem. I'd only met him a few times, and he was nice to me. Namine always spoke very highly of him whenever she was here. He was like an older brother to her and Tifa was like her older sister. I was glad Namine had a good family with her and she'd escaped Cid. Kairi and I would get away from him someday, but that day didn't seem like it would come fast enough.

After a few hours, Tifa and Namine arrived at Roxas' house. "Hey, Namine. Hi Tifa," I said, greeting my two friends. Tifa was a moderately tall woman. She had long, brown hair and reddish-brown eyes. She had an amazing smile that matched her sweet personality.

"Hi, Xion," they both greeted simultaneously. Both ran toward me to give me a big hug. I was almost crushed by them.

"Hi, girls," Roxas said.

"Hey, Roxas," Tifa said. She hugged him and all the other guys in the room. We all caught up with them and talked about old times. They hadn't been to Ven's funeral because they never really knew him. Ven and Vanitas never hung out with us, so they didn't know them aside from what Sora and Roxas would say.

"So, I heard you were playing the Paopu Festival this year," Tifa said. "I can't wait to see you guys play."

"I'm so nervous about it," I said.

"Don't worry about it," she said. "I'm sure you'll all do fine."

"Thanks Tifa," I said. "So, what do you guys want to do now?" We'd spent practically the whole week in Roxas' shed. I hadn't seen the sun in days.

"I don't know," Roxas said as he moved closer to me, wrapping his arm around my waist. He seemed to have something on his mind, but I didn't ask him. I didn't like to pry. I figured that if he wanted to tell me, he would without me asking.

"Well, let's do _something_," Sora said, bored. "I'm bored sitting around here like this."

Kairi walked over to him and kissed him softly. They had become quite the pair over the week. "Now are you bored?" she asked, tilting her head to the side and smiling at him lovingly. Her long, blood-colored hair fell to the side and brushed his nose a little.

"Not so much anymore," he said. "Love you, Kai."

"I love you too," she said as she kissed him again, this time a little longer. "Hey, let's all go see a movie." We hadn't been to see a movie together in a long time.

"What's playing?" I asked.

"There's a new scary movie out. It's supposed to be really awesome," Vanitas said. I loved scary movies, but they didn't scare me at all. Scary video games, on the other hand, were an entirely different story. I could barely stand to play F.E.A.R. the first time through. Roxas talked me into playing it alone, in the dark, and at 2 AM. He was on the phone with me for a decent chunk of it. He got a good laugh at my expense. I paid him back eventually, though.

"Awesome," I said. We all piled into Tifa's SUV and drove to the movie theater.

The cinema wasn't very crowded. It never was here. I was surprised it was still in business with the few customers it got. We all gave our ticket money to Tifa and she got the tickets.

The movie wasn't scary at all. I sat next to Roxas, Kairi sat next to Sora, Axel sat next to Tifa, and Namine sat with Vanitas. Vanitas and I laughed throughout the whole movie. The people that were killed by the monster really had it coming. How does someone, who is running as fast as they can, get killed by something that barely walks 2 MPH? The gore was fantastic. I looked over to Kairi and she was holding Sora's hand. She wasn't scared, but he was for some reason. He was constantly jumping and squirming in his seat. Namine wasn't scared, but she did look bored. She didn't like those kinds of movies. Roxas just sat there with his arm around me, showing about as much interest in the movie as Namine was. He just absently twisted my hair in his fingers and occasionally kissed my cheek.

When the movie was over, we got in Tifa's car and went to get something to eat at Taco Bell. We got two orders of that '12 tacos for $10' deal. Taco Bell was our favorite fast-food place. It was great to have a week where nothing bad happened to me and Kairi. I cherished every moment I had in this paradise because I knew that it could all disappear at any moment.

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><p>Author's Note: So, tell me what you think. Good, bad, so-so? I thought I'd show that I'm not completely cruel and give Kai and Xion a few days without more abuse. Remember to check out my other stories and follow "Hearts of the Olympians." I honestly wasn't expecting so many people to read "Hearts of the Olympians." I'm happy that people enjoy it.<p>

Also, that game, F.E.A.R. that Xion mentions is great. You should really pick it up if you haven't played it. I honestly like F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin better, but there's just something about the original. They're both for PS3, Xbox 360, and PC. There's also a third one coming out. Until next time, friends...


	4. Phoenix Burning, Phoenix Rising

Author's Note: Hey guys, here's the fourth chapter of Her Scars. Another shorter one than I usually like to do. This was 7 pages on Microsoft Word. Read and review. Enjoy friends...

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><p>We had to go back home eventually. Thankfully though, Cid didn't attack us as soon as we walked through the door. He was probably discouraged from when I got away from him last week. Or maybe the Neanderthal grew a conscience. Cid mainly just stayed in his room and drank the day away. Kai and I spent most of our time together that day. We were sitting in my room, working on a song, when the phone rang. I walked over to the phone and saw that it was Roxas' number. I picked up the phone. "Hey, Roxas," I said.<p>

"Hi Xion. Can you meet me at the park near your house in about five minutes?" he said. His voice was a little shaky and he seemed sad about something.

"Sure, baby, but what's wrong?" I asked. I was really concerned for him.

"I'll tell you when you get there. See you in a few minutes?"

"Ok, I love you," I said.

"You too, Xion," he said. It was strange that he didn't say 'I love you, too.' It worried me about what might be on his mind. He hung up the phone before I could say 'bye.'

"Is everything on, Xion?" my sister asked.

"I don't know, Kai," I answered. "Roxas was acting funny. He said he wanted to talk to me about something. He said to meet him at the park. I'll be back in a few minutes," I said as I changed from my pajamas into jeans and a t-shirt.

"Ok, bye Xion," she said as I walked out the door.

I left the house and walked to the park. It was only about five minutes from my house. Roxas was leaning up against a tree with his arms crossed and he was staring at the ground. "Roxas," I called out.

He looked up at me and smiled a little. I knew that smile was fake, though. He wasn't really happy. "Hey, Xion," he said.

"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" I asked, worried.

His oceanic eyes held so much obvious pain. He took a deep breath. "Xion, I'm sorry. There's no easy way for me to put this, but I'm breaking up with you."

All the air was forced out of my lungs. It felt as if I'd been punched in the stomach by a professional boxer. "What…what are you saying, Roxas? Why are you leaving me? I thought you loved me!"

"I'm sorry, Xion. I did love you, but I just can't do this anymore."

"Is it because I won't sleep with you? Because if that's it, Roxas, you can have me, all of me!" I was willing to do anything to keep him with me.

"It's not that. I feel like you're hiding something from me. It's like you're keeping secrets from me and I don't like that. I want somebody who will be perfectly honest with me. You are definitely hiding something from me."

"I'm not hiding anything," I lied. Why did I lie like that? That was the exact reason I was losing him.

"You are such a liar!" he said. Those words hurt more than anything, probably because they were so true. "I can see it all over your face, Xion. You're lying to me right now! I'm sorry, but we're through. I really did love you, but I just can't be with someone who's going to lie to me like that. We can still be friends, though."

"Yeah, still friends," I said. That was all I could manage to say. I was so broken inside because of what had just happened. I wasn't ready for me and Roxas to break up. I thought things were going so great between us. I thought my life was finally starting to become normal.

"I guess I should be going. You want me to walk you home?" he asked.

"No, I think it's best if you just leave," I said, trying to hold back my tears. I refused to cry in front of him. I'd save that for when I got home. The love of my life had just taken my heart, ripped it out, and then crushed it. "I can get home fine by myself. Goodbye, Roxas."

"Goodbye, Xion," he said. I could tell he was holding back tears as well.

"Bye, Roxas," I said sorrowfully. We parted ways at the park and I practically ran home.

I charged through the door to my bedroom and threw myself on the bed as I sobbed uncontrollably into my favorite Pikachu pillow that I'd had since I was six (a gift from mom, the real reason I held on to it). Kairi walked over to me from the chair she was sitting in and put her hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong, Xi?" she asked. "Why are you crying?"

"Roxas…broke…u…up…w-w-w-with…me," I managed to choke out through my heavy tears.

"Oh, Xion, I'm here for you. I'll help you through this. Why did he break up with you? I thought you two were so in love," she said with astonishment in her voice. She was surprised by this. Roxas and I were the perfect couple, a match made in heaven. It didn't make sense for us to be split up. I loved him with all my heart.

"Because he thinks I'm hiding something from him," I said. "He said…he can't be with…someone who's constantly lying to him." My tears wouldn't stop flowing long enough for me to say anything clearly. I didn't even think Kairi understood a word I was saying.

"Shh, its ok, Xion. I'm here for you. I love you, sis," she said. I got up and wrapped my arms around her. I cried into my older twin's shoulder, her crimson hair soaking up my tears.

"Why do I lie like that?" I asked myself. Kairi heard me.

"What were you lying about?" she asked.

"Pretty much everything about what we go through. I don't want to tell him that we've been raped. He suspected that I've been hiding something and wanted to know. I told him I wasn't hiding anything and he said that he doesn't want someone who is going to hide things from him," I said.

"I'm sorry about that, Xion," she said lovingly. Kairi was all I had at that moment. "Don't worry, you'll find someone who loves you. And someday, you may even feel comfortable telling them what happened to us."

"Have you told Sora?" I asked.

"No, because I'm not comfortable saying anything to him. I'm afraid of what he would think if he found out. Cid always makes me feel so dirty and ashamed," she said. I could tell she was holding her tears back for my sake. But I wouldn't have minded if she cried. I was just as willing to comfort her as she was me. Kai was my best friend. I loved her so much with a love that only twin sisters could possibly hope to understand. She was my exact clone, or I was her clone.

"I know how you feel, Kai. Actually, you're the only person on this earth that truly understands me. I love you," I said.

"Love you too, sis," she said.

"If it's ok with you, I think I'll just lie down for a while. If I go to sleep, wake me up at about seven," I said. I was so tired. Not really physically tired, but emotionally and mentally. It was hard to fix a broken heart. It would take time.

"Ok, I'll be over there at the desk if you need me," she said. She was probably going to either work on that song we were writing together, or her short story she'd been writing these past few days. Kairi was a great writer, actually she was a great everything. But she was really good at writing and music. She wanted to be an author someday. I really believed she had what it took to be the next Radiant Garden Times best-selling author.

I drifted off to sleep and had a horrible nightmare. I dreamed that Roxas and I were standing on top of the famous clock tower in Twilight Town. We were both wearing long, black, hooded trenchcoats. We were also a couple of years younger, about fifteen years old. I was standing there with him, but I was seeing the dream in a third-person perspective. I could see myself and Roxas on the clock tower, but it wasn't me, it was another me. I don't really know how to explain it any better than that. I had my hood up. Roxas looked surprised to see me. His lips moved, but I heard nothing. It was completely silent. I pulled my hood back, but the face wasn't mine. Sora's head was attached to my body.

Suddenly, I walked off the tower, but I was standing on the air as if there were a sheet of glass holding me up. Then the scene grew darker and we were teleported to a large chamber that looked like a cave. There was sand on the ground. There were three platforms and monkey statues above two of them. The one in the middle had a path leading to a wall that had a keyhole in it.

The other me transformed into a horrible monster. It had four arms and giant swords in each arm. There was a pink thing across its helmet that looked like a sharp, upside-down cross. It was mostly pink, black, and white and the arms were gold. I was attacking Roxas. Roxas had a strange sword that was shaped like a key. The blade was about three feet long and colored silver. The teeth of the key were shaped like the outline of a crown. The hilt was gold and there was a silver keychain attached to it that looked like Mickey Mouse's head.

The monster version of me attacked Roxas violently. He managed to deflect everything I threw at him with his sword. We kept that up for a few minutes until the scene changed again.

We were back at Twilight Town, floating in midair. The monster was different now, but it was still me. It was mostly pink and had two swords that were similar to Roxas' but the blades were pink. They were also longer and the teeth were three points arranged in a cross shape. This one attacked Roxas even more fiercely than the other one.

After a long hard battle, the beast collapsed and Roxas fell to the ground with it. When he landed, the monster had changed back into me. I didn't look so great. I realized what was happening to the other me. I was dying. Roxas held me in his arms as I died. We carried on one, final conversation when the other me placed her hand on his cheek, shed a single tear, and breathed her last breath. My dream ended right there.

I woke up sweating and saw that the time was 6:30 PM, thirty minutes before I told Kairi to wake me up. "Oh, you're awake," she said, putting down the book she was reading. I looked at the cover and I think it was "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks. She'd read it multiple times. It was her favorite book. "You were mumbling something about Roxas and dying. I was getting worried."

"I'm fine," I said. "I just had a bad dream. I dreamed I turned into a monster and Roxas had to kill me."

"Wow, that's pretty bad," she said as she walked over to the bed. "Are you feeling alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"Vanitas called a few minutes ago. He wants to know if you and I wanted to hang out with him and Sora. Don't worry, Roxas won't be there," she said, adding that little part about Roxas not coming so I would be less inclined to say no.

"Sure, I'd like that," I said. Now that I'd gotten to know him better, I liked Vanitas. He wasn't a bad guy like I'd originally thought.

"Good. I'll call him back and let him know we're on our way. I'd fix my hair if I were you, though. It looks like a pigeon made a nest in it," she said honestly. I looked in the mirror and saw she was right. I ran a brush through my raven hair and put on some fresh clothes.

We snuck out of the house silently and got into Kairi's car. Cid at least had the decency to get her a new tire to replace the one he popped. It also helped that we asked him when he was drunk.

Before we even knew it, we were at Sora's house. Sora let us in and Vanitas was sitting on a chair in the living room, watching Death Note on Netflix. It was so weird. They were almost identical, save for Vanitas' pitch black hair. I noticed that he wasn't wearing his yellow contacts. I finally got to see his eyes for the first time. They were a deep cerulean blue like Sora's, but they held something else. They reminded me of Roxas for some reason. "Hey Kairi, Hey Xion," Vanitas called as he paused his anime and walked over to us. "Glad you girls could make it."

"Yeah, it's good to see you too," I said.

"Hey, I heard and I'm sorry about you and Roxas," Vanitas said to me. He seemed genuinely concerned for me. I liked that. It was nice that he was concerned about me.

"It's ok, Van," I said. "I'm feeling much better about it now."

"Why did you two break up anyway?" Sora asked, but Kairi elbowed him in the side. "What was that for?"

"She'd tell you if she wanted you to know," she said as she kissed him softly. Kairi and Sora were so in love. I wished to have that again. I missed what I'd had with Roxas. I missed it more than anything. But I was starting to feel something, a connection with Vanitas. Maybe I was just on the rebound, but there was something there. He must have also been feeling the same thing because of the way he looked at me.

"So, what do you guys want to do?" I asked.

"I was thinking maybe we could just chill out here. Maybe watch some movies, play some video games, and stuff like that," Sora said.

"Sounds good to me," I said. We walked into the living room. Sora and Kairi were curled up on one side of the couch while Vanitas and I had the entire other side of it to ourselves. Vanitas was in the middle of the last episode of Death Note, so we finished it before we looked for something else. I liked anime, so I didn't mind. Kairi, on the other hand, wasn't too much of a fan. She just sat there and looked at Sora, ran her long fingers through his spikey, brown hair.

The whole night was fun. We'd watched a few funny movies. I'd curled up to Vanitas without even knowing what I was doing. I noticed and my face turned redder than Kairi's hair. "I'm sorry, Van" I said after I realized that I was practically sitting on him.

"It's ok, Xion," he said, smiling. "I don't mind. It was actually kind of nice."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, can I talk to you in private, Xion?" he asked.

"Sure," I said. We walked out to the front porch of Sora's house. The cool, midnight breeze coming from the ocean felt so good. "Now, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Vanitas sucked in a deep breath. "Xion, ever since the first time I saw you, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I'm sorry if it's too soon, what with Roxas just now breaking up with you, but I was wondering if you would want to go out with me."

I was at a loss for words. Vanitas did feel the same way I did! "Of course, I'll go out with you. You're a really great guy, Vanitas. I'll go out with you if you do me one favor," I said.

"And what would that be?" he asked, raising one of his thick, black eyebrows.

"Don't wear those yellow contacts so much," I said. "I love your eyes just the way they are now."

"No yellow contacts…got it," he said. "I don't even need them to see anyway. They're just colored pieces of plastic and don't have any real lenses in them." Knowing he didn't need them made me feel better for telling him not to wear them anymore. I just couldn't believe how things were picking back up. Earlier that day, I'd lost the love of my life. Now, I was with another person. I thought I was going to die from the pain that Roxas had inflicted upon me, but now, I felt alive again. I felt like a phoenix, rising from the ashes and freely soaring the skies again.

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><p>Author's Note: So, what do you guys think? I thought I'd add that little drama with Roxas breaking up with Xion. It will also come into play during later chapters. Just think of how this will complicate things in their band. I've also wanted to do a VanitasXion pairing since I first heard about it a few weeks ago. I'd like to thank everyone who reads and reviews this story, as well as all my other stories. This story will go on as long as people still read. Or until it overlaps with "My Black Dahlia." Whichever of those two come first. lol. I'd also like to recommend Dragginninja, Master'sEnd, Maisuki-Chan, Paradise Avenger, and . They are some of my favorite authors and they have wonderful stories. Stay tuned for more of this, more of "Hearts of the Olympians," and a new KH fanfiction that I've kept secret until now. It's working title is "A Heart Divided." It takes place ten years after "Shattered Hearts", and eight years after "Hearts of the Olympians." There will be references to both stories. I have about half of it typed already, but I'll be releasing it in chapters. It will be third-person perspective, which is something very rare for me, and it will follow two of my original characters, the apprentices of Aqua and Terra, as they go from world to world. They were briefly mentioned in the epilogue of "Shattered Hearts", but that was before I actually developed them as characters and were genderless, faceless filler characters created simply to give John something to ramble on about. Thank you all again and let me know how I'm doing so I can make improvements in areas I may be lacking. Until next time, friends...


	5. Welcome to the Destiny Islands

Author's Note: Hello again. Chapter five of "Her Scars" is finally finished. Sorry my updates have been getting a little slower than usual. In this chapter, we see the introduction of John, Kirox, and Xorik. They are friends of Vanitas from Twilight Town. This John is the same one from "Shattered Hearts" and chapter 2 of "A Heart Divided." Kirox and Xorik are originally from Dragginninja's "Nobody's Heartless" series. He has given me permission to use them in my stories (sorry of they're OOC man. Can't help it). They follow the tradition in this story of their parents being Final Fantasy characters. Zack Fair and Aerith Gainsborough from Compilation of Final Fantasy VII are their parents in this story. Irvine Kinneas from Final Fantasy VIII is Kairi and Xion's father. Without further delay, I give you the continuation of "Her Scars." This story will probably be the longest I publish. I've got a good five years in this story to work with before it overlaps with "My Black Dahlia." Enjoy, friends...

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, the song "Lie To Me (Denial)" by RED, or Kirox and Xorik. I do, however, own the idea for the story and John, one of my three OC's.

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><p>Vanitas and I walked back inside after our conversation. I felt happy that Vanitas was interested in me. He filled the gaping hole that Roxas left in my heart.<p>

We walked in on something a little embarrassing. Sora and Kairi were in the middle of a very intense, very passionate kiss. I could feel my cheeks turn a deep red. Sora was holding her very close and her hands were lost in his messy, spikey, brown hair. Vanitas turned to me and grinned evilly. I knew he was planning something funny. He quietly walked over to the two lovebirds and stood behind the couch. "Hey guys," he said loudly.

They both jumped clean out of their skin. Kairi was scared so bad, she accidentally bit down hard on Sora's tongue and he yelped in pain. "Oh I'm so sorry, Sora!" she said, looking at his bleeding tongue.

"It otay Taiwi," he struggled to say with his injured tongue. "I beem thwoo worth than this."

"Vanitas, what did you think you were doing? I could have seriously hurt him," Kairi said angrily. I just stood back and watched, waiting for Kairi to completely lose it, but thankfully, she calmed herself down.

"Just trying to be funny," my boyfriend said, backing away from my fuming sister. "You ok, Sora?" he asked, concerned for his cousin.

Sora's tongue was healing up and he could talk normally now. "Yeah, I'm fine. Oh and by the way, your friend John called. He's coming in tomorrow with his brothers, Kirox and Xorik. They've got that house that you guys were going to rent and they'll be here around three."

"Who are they?" I asked.

"They're old friends of mine and Ven. The five of us were going to be roommates while we went to college down here," Vanitas said. I could tell that the thought of Ven made his heart break all over again. "They're brothers. John is the oldest. He's already finished his first year. Kirox and Xorik are fraternal twins and just starting college. You'll like them a lot. Well, you might not like Xorik right away. He can be hard to handle sometimes, but Kirox usually sets him straight. And if Xorik tries to flirt, just ignore him. He'll go away eventually."

"Good to know," I said. I was excited to meet John and Kirox, but not Xorik so much. I had a feeling that it would take a while to get used to him.

Kai and I went home eventually. She kissed Sora goodnight and I hugged Vanitas as we left.

When we arrived, the lights were off. Cid must have gone to sleep. I went to my room and told Kairi goodnight. She went on to her room and I started to go to bed. I had just laid down on my bed when I got a bad feeling.

Just then, I heard Kairi scream from her room. "Kairi!" I yelled as I ran for her room. I tried to open the door, but it was locked. "Kairi, what's going on in there?" I yelled as I pounded on her door.

"Be quiet, little whore! You're interruptin' our family time in here!" Cid yelled at me. "We're just now a gitten to the good part."

"Cid, if you hurt her I swear I'll…"

"You swear you'll what? Kill me? I ain't afraid of you," he said mockingly. He knew that I wouldn't kill him even if I threatened him. There was nothing I could do to save Kairi. I could hear her whimpering in pain from the cuts he'd no doubt inflicted upon her body. She was also trying to suppress the natural feelings that she was experiencing against her will. Even if she was being raped, she still had the natural physical reactions to sexual contact, even if it was unwanted. I slid down to the ground and sat there, crying, as I helplessly listened to my beautiful, kind, and loving twin sister be sexually assaulted and violated. She didn't deserve to be treated that way.

Cid was eventually finished with her. He unlocked her door and saw me sitting in the floor, crying my eyes out. "What's the matter Xion, you sad?" he asked. He bent down as if he was going to comfort me, but instead he took his fist and punched me right in the jaw. He gave me a good hit. It hurt so much and I thought he may have chipped one of my teeth. I would probably have a nice, pretty black eye in the morning. I was bleeding in my mouth. I could taste my blood, a flavor that I'd come to know very well. "You piles of dirt, I don't know why my sister stuck me with you two sluts," he said, his words cutting me to pieces like a knife. No, a knife would have hurt less than the painful, hurtful words that were coming from his mouth.

"We didn't ask to be here, Cid. I wish it was you that died instead of mom," I said cruelly. I gathered some of the blood in my mouth and spit it right at his face. Bad move. He pulled out his pocketknife and held it to my throat. It was right on my jugular vein. One slice, and I would be dead in seconds. But I really didn't care if he killed me. I actually wished he would kill me so I wouldn't have to endure this Hell he put us through every day.

Cid's grip tightened. "I could kill you right now," he said. He pushed the knife closer to my skin and broke the top layer of skin a little. It stung, but I was used to far worse pain than that. For a second, I thought he was actually going to go through with killing me. "Good," I thought. I wanted to die. I would never kill myself, but I had no problem with Cid doing it. But then I had a thought. It would probably give him a satisfaction if he killed me, and I didn't want that mistake of nature to have the pleasure of my blood on his hands. Besides, if I were to die, where would that leave Kairi? I couldn't leave her alone. Sure, Cid would go to prison for murder for the rest of his life, but Kai would be hurt since we don't have any other family except Namine. No, I couldn't just give up and die. I had to live to be there for Kairi.

Cid just stared at me with a murderous look in his eyes. Suddenly, he pulled the knife away from me and I caught me breath. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath. He walked beside me and kicked me on the right side of my stomach, very close to my kidney, and stormed off to his room.

I sat there for a minute to catch my breath again after the swift kick in the gut. I managed to stand up and I walked into Kairi's room. It was the most heartbreaking sight I'd ever witnessed. She was in her bed and lying on her side, naked and bleeding, one hand with a bandage covering a large wound on her chest and the other clutching her Bible tightly as if her life depended on it. And she truly believed it did. She was crying into the pages, searching for peace in the only place she could ever find it. I walked over to my twin and sat down on the bed with her. "Kai, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. I had no idea he was going to ambush you," I said.

"It's ok, Xion. I don't blame you. You had no way of knowing," she said. She tried her best to smile, but she didn't have the heart to. She sat up and embraced me as she cried into my shoulder. "I just don't understand why this has to happen to us!"

"I don't either, Kai. But I know one thing, I love you sis," I said.

"I love you too, Xion. You're the best sister anyone could ask for," she said. "You're my best friend."

"You're the best sister anyone could ask for," I corrected. "I'm nothing special."

"Yes, you are. You're always talking about how you think I'm so much better than you are, how you think I'm prettier than you, and how you think I'm perfect, but none of that is true! I'm not perfect, I'm far from perfect. You are every bit as good as I am and I'm every bit as good as you are. I'm nothing special," she said. "I go through the same problems, make the same mistakes, and cry the same tears. And if you want to get deeper than that, we share the same exact DNA! We're exactly the same, Xion, identical twins. And I wouldn't have it any other way!"

"I still think you are a better person than I am," I said.

"Ugh, you're impossible," she said in mock frustration, comically throwing her hands in the air. This time, her smile was genuine.

"Come on, let's get those cuts cleaned up and find you some clothes," I said. She'd lost a decent amount of blood. We would need to change her sheets too. Cid never wore a condom, so Kai and I had to take birth control. We didn't want to be the mothers of our own inbred cousins! Sometimes, I wondered if Cid was inbred, but I knew better because I knew grandma and grandpa, and they weren't related.

We got Kairi bandaged up and she put on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I would sleep in her room that night, just to be sure Cid wouldn't try anything while we were asleep. We didn't know if he would come back for more. It wouldn't have been the first time. We both drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep. We were going to get up early because we had promised Sora that we would help John, Kirox, Xorik, and Vanitas move into that house they were renting. It would give me a chance to see the kind of people Ven and Vanitas hung out with.

Kai woke me up that morning. The sun was shining brightly through her window. "Wake up, Xion," she said. "Sora and Vanitas are expecting us soon."

"Goodmorning, Kai," I said, still half asleep. I got up and shuffled to the bathroom. I got in the shower and turned the water to the perfect temperature, steaming hot. The steam relaxed my tense muscles and woke me up.

I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off. I saw myself in the full-length mirror. There was a big, purple and green bruise on the right side of my waist from where Cid kicked me. He just kicked me, mercilessly, like someone would kick a stray dog. I wasn't even a human being to him. He didn't see me as anything more than a sex object that he could use to fulfill all his sick, twisted fantasies. I cried a little when I thought about that. I was so hurt. Cid was my uncle, my mother's brother. He was supposed to be good to us and love us like we were a normal family. But he was the lowest of the low. I still couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that someone as kind, sweet, and loving as my cousin, Namine, could possibly be the daughter of Cid.

I went back to my room and fished some clothes out of the closet. I didn't get anything really nice since we'd be working all day. I wore a plain, red t-shirt and an old pair of navy blue jeans with holes in the knees and thighs. Kai pretty much wore the same, except her shirt was pink and her jeans were a lighter blue. Afterward, I tried to cover the small black eye Cid gave me last night with makeup. That was really the only reason I even kept makeup. I hated the stuff. "You ready, Kai?" I asked.

She still looked like she was in pain. Cid must have really messed her up last night. "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go," she said. We were going to meet Sora and Vanitas at Sora's house and ride with them to the house where we would meet John, Kirox, and Xorik. I was a little nervous about meeting Vanitas' friends. But they couldn't be that bad, right? It's not like they were going to bite me…well, the way Vanitas talked, Xorik might. But John and Kirox probably wouldn't.

We drove to Sora's house, listening to her Skillet CD, "Awake Special Edition." The song "Dead Inside" was playing. I liked Skillet. Kairi and I planned to see them in concert someday. It was just too bad that we didn't get to see them when their former guitarist, Ben Kasica, was still in the band.

Kai pulled into the driveway and we headed to the door. I started to knock, but Sora and Vanitas were already walking out the door. "Hey," Sora said. "You finally made it."

"Hey Sora, hey Vanitas," I said. It was still so weird that they looked exactly alike. They weren't even twins, they were cousins! Kairi walked up to Sora and kissed him lovingly while Vanitas nearly suffocated me in a big bear hug. I wondered when he was going to start kissing me like Sora kissed Kairi, and how he was going to react when I tell him we can't have sex. I had been afraid of what Roxas would do if he found out Cid raped me, but I was even more afraid of what Vanitas would do to Cid. Something told me that Vanitas was capable of a level of sadistic cruelty that Roxas couldn't even imagine.

"You girls ready to help me move?" Vanitas asked. "You can start by grabbing those boxes and taking them to my truck."

"What are you two going to do?" Kai asked.

"We've been packing all morning. It's time for you two to do some of the work," Sora said, grinning from ear to ear with that cheesy grin he always had.

Kai and I each grabbed a box and carried them to the Vanitas' black, extended cab Toyota Tundra. We placed them with all the other stuff in the truck bed and closed his bed cover down. "Ok, I think that's everything," Vanitas said. "I'll drive."

We all got in his truck and he drove us to the house. There was a car already parked there and the door was wide open. I saw a tall man with long, extremely dark crimson hair, but it was almost black. He wasn't very muscular, but I could tell he was still strong. His eyes were a jade green. "Which one is that?" I asked.

"That's John, the oldest," Vanitas said. "Kirox and Xorik should be inside."

We got out of Vanitas' truck and walked over to John. "Hey, man," Vanitas said to his best friend.

"It's about time you made it. We were starting to think you'd never show up," John said. "Sora, how've you been man?"

"Good. I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Kairi Kinneas," he said as he wrapped his arm around my sister's waist. "And this is her sister, Xion. She's Vanitas' girlfriend." I blushed when Sora called me Vanitas' girlfriend. I hadn't really thought about it that much, but I guess I kind of was.

"Nice to meet you both," he said. His eyes shifted between us and it looked like something clicked in his brain. "I'm John Fair. Hey, are you two twins?"

"Yeah," Kairi said. "I'm the oldest by about four minutes."

"How come your hair is different?" he asked.

"Cause I dyed it black a few years ago," I said. I didn't want to go into the fact that I did it when I was struggling with depression after mom died.

"Oh," John said. His eyes wandered down to mine and Kairi's arms. I could tell he was looking at some of our deeper scars, the ones that held the worst memories. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but he didn't speak a word about it. "So, let's go inside. I want you to meet my brothers."

We followed John inside and saw his two brothers sitting on the old, secondhand couch. One had short, dark blond hair and light blue eyes. The other fraternal twin had long, black hair like John's and it was pulled back in a ponytail. His eyes were a darker blue than the other's eyes. "Kirox, Xorik," John said. "Help has arrived."

The blond stood up and walked over to us. The raven-haired brother followed him. The blond held out his hand and introduced himself. "Hey, I'm Kirox Fair. And this one is Xorik."

"Hey, I'm Xion," I said as I shook his hand. "This is my sister, Kairi."

"Hello, and call me Kai," my sister said. "All my friends call me Kai." She smiled.

Kirox and Xorik seemed like nice people. "Hey," Xorik said to me, "what happened to your arms?" Great, he noticed our scars.

Sora stared at Xorik. "Xorik, you shouldn't ask her something like that!"

"No, its fine," I interjected. "Kai and I have been through some things. We'll tell you when we get to know you guys better. It's kind of personal."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Xorik said. "I didn't know."

"It's ok," I said. It really did make me uncomfortable though. He'd find out when I learn that I could trust him, but until then, Kai and I wouldn't say a word. "So, how do you guys like the Destiny Islands?"

"We love it here!" Kirox said with enthusiasm. "Twilight Town was so boring compared to this place. It's so beautiful here."

"Hey, we should start doing what we came here to do," John said. "We can talk about this stuff later."

"Aww man," Xorik said. But, we did as John asked. I helped Vanitas carry in some furniture while Kairi, Xorik, Kirox, and Sora did everything else. I noticed John, Kirox, and Xorik had instruments. John had a black Gibson SG guitar and a black B.C. Rich Warbeast bass. I instantly fell in love with that bass. I still liked my black Gibson Les Paul bass, but this was just too awesome for words.

Kirox had an electric drum set and a professional-looking electric keyboard. There were piles of sheet music lying next to the keyboard. Our band needed a keyboardist, and now it looked like we found him.

Xorik had a violin and a cello. Again, piles of sheet music were surrounding the area it was lying in. This must have been a very musical family.

"I see you found our instruments," John said from behind me.

I turned to look at him. "Yeah," I replied. "I didn't know you guys played." I was amazed that more musicians were coming to this tiny, insignificant, yet beautiful island.

"I've been playing guitar and bass for about six years now. I'm better at guitar, though," John said. "Kirox and Xorik are classically trained, so they know way more about music that I do."

"I can play bass. I've played since I was eleven. I can't play guitar, but my sister is amazing. Kai's been playing since she was nine. She has a beautiful singing voice too," I said.

"Wow," he said. "My brothers and I sing a little. We've recorded a few songs. When we get done here, you should listen to our stuff."

"I'd like that," I replied. "What kind of music do you guys play?"

"Decently heavy stuff," he said. "Kirox and Xorik are quick to point out that there's virtually no difference between classical and heavy metal music."

"Do you think you guys would be interested in joining our band?" I asked. "We need a third guitarist, a keyboardist, and someone who can play violin and cello. You guys are perfect for the job."

"Are you sure that would be cool with the rest of them?" he asked, concerned that he might be intruding on something sacred.

"Of course," I said. "They'd love it. And it would give you guys the chance to make some new friends here."

"Well, I already know Roxas and Sora," he said. My face grew darker at the mention of Roxas. He noticed and caught himself. "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"It's nothing," I lied. "I dated Roxas up until a few days ago. I guess it just still hurts that he broke up with me. But I'm with Vanitas now, it's all good."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Van didn't tell us," John said.

"It's ok," I said. "Let's finish up here so I can listen to those songs you've recorded."

"Ok," he said, dropping the subject.

We finished unpacking everything and got the house looking amazing. "Whew," Sora said, plopping down on the couch. "I didn't think we'd ever get done."

"Yeah, really," Kairi said, sitting next to her boyfriend and kissing him on the cheek.

"Now can we hear those songs that you guys recorded?" I asked.

"They recorded songs?" Kai asked. "I didn't know you guys were musicians too!" She was excited. Kai loved to hear other people's work.

"It's nothing really," John said. "We multi-tracked all of the songs. Kirox and I played guitar, I played bass, Kirox played drums and piano, Xorik played the strings, and all three of us sang. This one in particular is really good. I sang on it. It's called "_Lie to Me (Denial)_"

John started the song and we heard the three brothers play in such a way that only siblings could.

_Tell yourself its over now  
>Try to kill a broken vow<br>If only you could find the strength  
>To kill the memories<br>These empty pages never turn  
>You lit the flame and let them burn<br>You tried to bury me so deep  
>But what will lie beneath?<em>

_Will your hope die alone?_  
><em>Will you feed on your own?<em>  
><em>Can you just turn away and let me go?<em>

_Lie to me_  
><em>You can feel<em>  
><em>That this love was never real<em>  
><em>Walk away<em>  
><em>You can learn to love again<em>

_Lie to me_  
><em>You can leave<em>  
><em>I'll still be here when you see<em>  
><em>You're not alone<em>  
><em>You don't have to run again<em>  
><em>Leave me in denial<em>

_All your secrets crawl inside_  
><em>You keep them safe, you let them hide<em>  
><em>You feel them drinking in your pain to kill the memories<em>  
><em>So close your eyes and let it hurt<em>  
><em>The voice inside begins to stir<em>  
><em>Are you reminded of all you used to be?<em>

_Can you just turn away and let me go?_

_Lie to me_  
><em>You can feel<em>  
><em>That this love was never real<em>  
><em>Walk away<em>  
><em>You can learn to love again<em>

_Lie to me_  
><em>Watch me bleed<em>  
><em>Cause I'll still be here when you see<em>  
><em>You're not alone<em>  
><em>You don't have to run again<em>  
><em>Leave me in denial<em>

_All the pain you fed_  
><em>Starts to grow inside<em>  
><em>It lives again and you can't let it die<em>  
><em>So believe you'll never find<em>  
><em>A reason to love again<em>

_Lie to me_  
><em>And watch me bleed<em>  
><em>I'll be here when you see<em>  
><em>You're not alone<em>  
><em>You don't need to run<em>

_Lie to me_  
><em>Watch me bleed<em>  
><em>Cause I'll still be here when you see<em>  
><em>You're not alone<em>  
><em>You don't have to run again<em>  
><em>Leave me in denial<em>

_You can learn to love again_  
><em>Leave me in denial<em>  
><em>You can learn to love again<em>  
><em>Leave me in denial<em>

The song ended and we were all amazed at their talent. "Wow," I said. "That was amazing!"

"Not really," Kirox said. "It was alright. We can do way better than that."

"Would you guys like to join our band?" Vanitas asked. "We can ask Roxas and Demyx what they think, but the majority of us already want you guys with us. What do you say?"

John, Kirox, and Xorik thought about it for a while. "Of course, we'd love to join," John said. Things were going great with the band now. I didn't think anything could ever ruin it.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: How did you guys like it? Do you think John, Kirox, and Xorik are good additions to the cast? And what about Xion's relationship with Vanitas? I've recently gotten into VanitasXion romance stories. Master'sEnd has some very good ones. Special thanks to Dragginninja for allowing me to use his characters. Check out his "Nobody's Heartless" stories. Review button is right below this text. Until next time, friends...


	6. Just One of Those Days

Author's Note: Hey guys, here's the new chapter of "Her Scars." I hope you enjoy it, but I can't tell if you did unless you review. I want to know what you all think. So far, Dragginninja is the only reviewer for this story (thanks, man). Anyway, without further delay, here's chapter six of "Her Scars." Enjoy, friends...

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, Sora and Kairi would have already kissed, Xion would have never died, and Selphie would have died a horrible, bloody, painful death along the lines of what happened to Zexion in "Shadow of the Slenderman." I also don't own the song, "The Bleeding" by Five Finger Death Punch. Great song, though.

* * *

><p>A week had passed since we helped Vanitas, John, Kirox, and Xorik move into the house. They really seemed to be enjoying it here. We'd all be going to the beach together. Cloud, Tifa, and Namine would be coming too, and so would Demyx. He loved water. I don't know why he didn't hang out with us more. He just never went anywhere with the entire group before.<p>

I wore my favorite purple and black bikini under a purple tank top and purple shorts. Kairi's bikini was pink and so were her shorts and tank top. Pretty much all we owned was tank tops and shorts. It was just too hot here for anything else. Even in the winter, the temperature never dipped below sixty degrees. The hottest summer we ever had had been 120 degrees! That was last year and I thought I was going to die of heatstroke! Today, it was a comfortable eighty degrees.

I turned to my beautiful sister. "You ready, Kai?" I asked. We'd be meeting everyone at the beach. We packed everything we needed last night while Cid was asleep.

"Yeah," she said. We were excited about going to the beach, but I wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing Roxas. I knew he'd be there. I couldn't really complain, I guess. They were all his friends too. But it still hurt to think of him. He really hurt me, but I hurt him too. And I hated myself for hurting him, but I didn't have a choice. I couldn't tell him about the constant rape. It was hard enough to tell him about getting beaten and abused.

Everyone knew we were abused, but they never talked about it. At least they never talked about it to our faces. Some people did tell us that they would call the cops on Cid, but we told them not to. If that happened, Kai and I would probably be separated. We would both rather live in the conditions we were in than be torn away from each other. I loved my Kai more than anything. I'd go insane without her.

Kairi and I snuck out to her car and headed to the beach. I had a bad feeling about today, but I dismissed it. I always got bad feelings, but nothing ever came of them. I was just glad that I'd be hanging out with all my friends today. It seemed rare for all of us to be together at once this summer.

Kai parked next to Sora and I helped her with our stuff. We had a cooler full of Dr. Pepper, a few beach towels, and tanning oil. Kairi and I were going to try to get a little darker this summer. We'd always been pale despite having lived on an island all our lives. I was far paler than she was though. Sora, Roxas, and Vanitas were always tanned, though. Kai and I just never tried to tan. We'd always burned too easily. We always bought extra-strength sunscreen.

"Hey, girls," Tifa called out cheerfully as soon as she saw us.

"Hi Tifa!" Kairi squealed. We hadn't seen Tifa since we all went to the movies a few weeks ago. She had her long, dark brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and was wearing a short, white tank top with a black skirt. She was a beautiful woman, really.

"How have you two been? It's been forever," she asked.

"Pretty good," I said. "What about you?"

"Cloud and I are getting married soon," she said, trying to subdue her joy, but I could tell she was about to explode. She showed us her beautiful, diamond engagement ring. "He proposed the other day. Now we just need to set a date for it! I'm so happy!"

"I'm so happy for you," I said as she hugged me and Kairi at the same time. "Can't breathe, Tifa," I choked out. She was stronger than she looked.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said apologetically. She let go of us and smiled. "The others are waiting for us on the beach. I bet you're excited to see Roxas, aren't you Xion?"

I felt pain in my heart at the mention of his name. I hadn't even seen him since he broke up with me. "We broke up last week, Tifa," I said. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Xion. I didn't know," she said.

"It's ok," I replied. "Let's just go have fun."

That day was the greatest I had ever had in a long time. I was so happy to be with all my friends. Roxas avoided me for the most part, which was understandable. We were broken up, I'm sure it was awkward for me to be around. He didn't do anything that said he hated me, but I could tell there was still some tension in the air from our breakup.

Roxas was walking along the beach to meet Sora, Kirox, and Cloud when something fell out of his pocket. It was a folded piece of paper. I walked over and picked it up. He saw me and started walking my way. "Xion, don't read that! It's personal," he said. But it was too late. I had already opened it and saw that it was a song. The words were full of pain that I knew could have only meant one thing, come from only one event in his life.

_I remember when all the games began  
>Remember every little lie and every last goodbye<br>The promises you broke, words you choked on  
>And I never walked away, it's still a mystery to me<em>

_Well, I'm so empty, I'm better off without you_  
><em>And you're better off without me<em>  
><em>Well, you're so unclean, I'm better off without you<em>  
><em>And you're better off without me<em>

_The lying, the bleeding, the screaming_  
><em>Was tearing me apart<em>  
><em>The hatred, deceiving, the bleeding<em>  
><em>It's over<em>

_Paint the mirrors black to forget you_  
><em>I still picture your face and the way you used to taste<em>  
><em>Roses in a glass, dead and wilted<em>  
><em>To you this all was nothing, everything to you is nothing<em>

_Well, you're so filthy, I'm better off without you_  
><em>And you're better off without me<em>  
><em>Well, I'm so ugly, you're better off without me<em>  
><em>I'm better off without<em>

_The lying, the bleeding, the screaming_  
><em>Was tearing me apart<em>  
><em>The hatred, the beatings, disaster<em>  
><em>It's over<em>

_As wicked as you are_  
><em>You're beautiful to me<em>  
><em>You're the darkest burning star<em>  
><em>You're my perfect disease<em>

_The lying, the bleeding, the screaming_  
><em>Was tearing me apart<em>  
><em>The hatred, the beatings, it's over<em>  
><em>Disaster<em>

_The lying, the bleeding, the screaming_  
><em>Was tearing me apart<em>  
><em>The hatred, the beatings, it's over<em>  
><em>Disaster<em>

_It's over now_

Even though I probably had no right to be, I felt hurt. I knew that song was about me. This was how Roxas truly felt about me. It felt like all the oxygen was forced out of my lungs. My eyes welled up as Roxas ripped the sheet of paper from my trembling hands. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Xion," he said.

"Shut up, Roxas," I said coldly. "I know you really feel this way. You hate me, don't you?" I tried to sound strong, but I was failing miserably. I was broken, I'll admit it. I hurt him by lying to him. But what was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to tell him about the single most personal, most hurtful thing I'd ever had to go through? No way on this earth was I ready to tell him!

"No, I don't hate you, Xion," he pleaded. "I wrote that song right after we broke up. Yeah, I was angry, hurt. But I never hated you, Xion. I loved you. I don't love you anymore, but I did! I could never hate you." He seemed sincere, but I wasn't about to have any of it.

"Bull crap," I said. I also gave him a few other not-so-nice words that I won't repeat. "You do hate me!" I screamed through my tears. I knew everyone was looking at us, but I didn't care. "Don't worry, though. I'll just leave and you'll never have to put up with this filthy whore again!" It hurt to call myself that, but that's what he made me feel like I was. And that hurt even worse because that's always what Cid called me. "You'll have to find yourself a new bass player for the band. I quit!"

"Xion, wait!" he exclaimed, but it was too late. I pushed him aside and ran as fast as I could toward Kairi, Namine, and Tifa.

I ran toward the three people who would understand me the best. I was almost to them when two strong arms wrapped themselves around my waist. "Xion, are you ok?" Vanitas asked.

He spun me around and I looked into his deep, cerulean eyes that were so much like Sora's. He was looking into my violet eyes. "No, I'm not," I cried. "I saw something that Roxas wrote. It hurt because it was about me! Though, I can't blame him for it. I screwed up bad with our relationship."

Vanitas ran his fingers through my short, black hair and comforted me the best he could. I buried my face in his chest and listened to his heartbeat. "Shh, it's ok baby," he said soothingly as he kissed the top of my head. "I love you."

"I love you too, Vanitas," I cried.

Kairi, Namine, and Tifa took notice of us. "Xion, what's wrong?" Tifa asked, worried.

"It's nothing," I lied.

"I know you're lying, Xion. You wouldn't be crying like that if it was nothing," she said. She was too smart to fall for that and too stubborn to let it go like everyone else. Maybe it was because Tifa was always so concerned for me.

I started to say something, even though I didn't want to. Thankfully, Vanitas interrupted. "She'd tell you if she wanted to, Tifa," he said. "Not to be rude or anything, but just drop it."

Tifa got the hint. "Ok, but that won't keep me from worrying about you, Xion," she said. "I'm here for you if you need me."

"Thank you Tifa," I said through my tears. "You're a great friend." I turned to my boyfriend. "Vanitas, can you take me home?"

"Sure, baby," he said.

"I'll come too," Kairi interjected.

"No, I'll be fine," I lied. I didn't actually want Vanitas to take me home. I was going to ask him to take me to his house so I could be with someone who actually loved me. I gave Kairi a look that said I wasn't really going home. Since she was my twin, she got the message easily and let it go.

Kai explained to everyone that I wasn't feeling great and I needed to go home. Roxas didn't fall for it. He knew exactly why I was going away.

We just left the parking lot when I spoke up. "Vanitas, don't take me home. I want to go to your place so we can be alone," I said.

He was caught off guard by that. I could tell that, deep down, he was happy that I asked him to take me to his place. "Really?" he said in shock. "Ok, I love you, Xion."

"I love you too, Vanitas," I said. It seemed like the only time I ever told the truth was when I was telling Vanitas or Kairi that I loved them. They were the two people I loved the most. I loved my cousin, Namine, too, but not nearly as much as my sister and my boyfriend. And Cid…I wished he would drop dead. I hated that man more than anything on this earth. I imagined him having a heart attack and I would just stand over him and smile as he choked on his last breath. The world would be better off without him or his kind. In my mind, if you can rape someone without any remorse for your actions, you've forfeited your humanity and have been reduced to a level so low, you could never crawl out of it. Rapists always got off too easy. What did they get, five years? What kind of punishment is that? That's about what you get for the _**non-violent**_ offence of illegally downloading movies! And I knew if Cid was ever caught raping one of us, he'd probably get just that much prison time.

We arrived at Vanitas' home quickly and I plopped down on the couch. My head was killing me from all the stress. Vanitas must have noticed because he brought me a glass of water and some Alka-Seltzer. "Thank you," I said as I sipped the seltzer water.

"Don't mention it, baby," he said. He placed a quick, yet loving kiss on my lips. They were cold from the water I had just drunk. I placed the glass on the table in front of us and leaned up against Vanitas. I buried my face in his chest and he held me tighter than he ever had before. "I love you."

"I love you so much," I said, stressing every single word with all the love my heart held. "Why does Roxas have to be like that?"

"He's just hurt," Vanitas said. "I've known him for a long time, probably longer than you have. He uses music to calm himself down and that's how he deals with stress. Sure, he had no right to write a song so harsh that it would make you this upset, but he probably didn't even think that you would get your hands on it." Vanitas' words made me feel a little better.

In his arms, I started thinking about certain things. I was originally going to tell him that we can't have sex. I didn't want him to find out about the rape. But Vanitas hadn't known me for as long as everyone else. I didn't really expect him to assume I was a virgin like everyone else. Roxas had known me for most of our lives. He'd know if I'd slept with someone before, but Vanitas wouldn't. "Vanitas," I said.

"Yeah, baby?" he asked.

"We never talked about sex, did we?" I asked.

"No," he said. "Actually, about that, I want to wait a while." I was dumbfounded. A guy that wanted to wait a while? What parallel universe had I been sucked into? "It's not that I don't want you, Xion. I want you badly! But I've rushed it in relationships before only to find that we wouldn't be together very long. I don't want us to just sleep together and break up the next day. I want us to have something special. I love you that much and more, Xi." My heart melted. I'd never known Vanitas could be so romantic. I stared into the deep cerulean of his eyes lovingly, and he did the same. I pulled myself closer to his lips and poured every ounce of love I felt into one, long, passionate kiss. So what if this was all I was getting tonight? That was enough for me, really.

"I love you Vanitas," I said as I caught my breath.

After a few more minutes of a passionate make-out session, I was getting tired. I must have fallen asleep on Vanitas' chest because I opened my eyes and felt so groggy. I had my right arm wrapped around his chest and my left was between the couch and my waist. Vanitas was asleep too. I guess his snoring is what woke me up. I stood up and walked to the bathroom because I really had to go! I looked in the mirror. My short, midnight-black hair was an absolute mess. It looked like a chicken attacked it and won. That must have been Vanitas' doing, but I didn't care. I saw myself different than I usually did. Before, I saw myself as just an average-looking girl. Vanitas made me feel beautiful. For that moment, I felt as beautiful as I thought Kairi was. I even imagined myself with my natural, crimson hair color. With it short like my hair was, I would have looked like Kairi did when we were about fourteen. She let her hair grow shoulder-length when we turned fifteen because she wanted to look older.

I was startled when I heard a knock on the door. "Xion, are you in there?" Vanitas asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Can you hurry up in there? I really have to pee!" he said. I giggled and let him in. "Thank you," he said gratefully as I stepped out. I could hear it. He peed for three minutes straight! How was could his bladder hold that much liquid? I guessed it was a guy thing.

I walked back into the living room and looked at the clock. It had been around 4 PM when we came here. It was 7 PM now. I figured Kairi went to Sora's. We had made a deal long ago that neither of us would go home alone. We had to be there for each other. Cid would take advantage of the solitude and hurt us even more. "Hey Vanitas, can I use your phone?" I called out.

Vanitas walked back into the living room and dropped on the couch next to me. "Sure baby," he said.

"What's Sora's number again? I think Kairi may have gone there and I want to see if she's there or if she went home." It was highly unlikely that she went home, though.

Vanitas dialed the number and Sora answered. He sounded really tired. "Hello?" he said.

"Hey, it's Xion," I replied. "Is Kai there?"

"Yeah, here she is."

"Hello," my sister said. She, too, sounded really tired. She also sounded like she had something on her mind. I would ask her about it when we got home later that night.

"Hey, it's me," I said. "When you start to head home, can you pick me up?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll be leaving in a few minutes," she said.

"Ok, bye sis," I said. "Love you."

"Love you too, Xion," she said as she hung up.

"Leaving already?" Vanitas asked sadly. I walked over to him and kissed his full lips, trying to make him feel better.

"Yeah, but we can pick up where we left off tomorrow," I reassured. "Don't forget, I love you."

"I love you too, Xion," he said as he kissed me back. "You are so beautiful!" he said as he stroked my cheek.

"Thank you," I said. "So are you." I started to kiss him again. I wanted to stay like that forever, but our moment was cut short by Kairi honking her horn outside. "There's my ride." He kissed me quickly one more time as I walked out the door and got in my sister's car. "Thank you for picking me up, sis," I said to her.

"You're welcome," she said. She sounded sad about something. I wondered if anything happened between her and Sora.

"Are you ok, Kai?" I asked.

She was silent for a few seconds before she took in a deep breath. "No, I'm not," she said, trying to hold back tears. "I messed up, Xion!"

I didn't even know what she was talking about. "What do you mean, Kai? How did you mess up?"

"I…I had sex with Sora," she said sorrowfully. I didn't see what the big deal was, but then I remembered that Kairi was saving herself for marriage. She took her convictions very seriously, and was devastated when she didn't follow them perfectly. "I don't know what happened. One minute we were sitting on his couch, talking about things. And the next, I was in his bedroom and we were doing it." She looked like she was starting to cry.

I placed my hand on her shoulder to comfort her. "Don't worry, Kairi," I said. "It's not that big of a deal." That was the worst thing to say.

"'Not that big of a deal?' Yes, it is a big deal. It was a big deal to me!" she said angrily. That was the first time in our whole lives that she ever raised her voice to me. It broke my heart, but I felt that I deserved it. "Even though my virginity was stolen from me a long time ago by Cid, I still wanted my first consensual time to be after marriage! That small fragment was all I had left, and I messed up! I threw it away! You may not believe in God, but I do, Xion! I wished you did, but you don't." That wasn't entirely true. I wanted to believe, God knows I wanted to believe in him, but I found it hard considering what we went through at home.

Kairi saw how her words had shaken me to the core. She grabbed the steering wheel with her left hand and placed her right hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Xion," she said. "I didn't mean to explode like that. It's just that I'm so upset. I feel like I've let God down, and that I've let you down. I know you look up to me like I'm some sort of angel, but I'm not. I'm a human being just like you. But I feel so guilty when I don't do what I feel is right in my heart." She cried and I tried to comfort her. My sister tried to walk a fine line. It was only natural that she would fall from it sometimes. But she was wrong about one thing. I didn't see her as perfect. What made me look up to her was the fact that she knew exactly what she believed in and she never backed down. She'd lost some friends because of it, but our little circle accepted her for who she was. I loved her for who she was.

"I love you, Kairi," I said.

"I love you too, Xion," she replied. I knew she'd be alright. Kairi was a strong young woman. She would pull through. "But the part that hurts me the most, I really enjoyed it. He was so sweet to me. It was nothing like when Cid rapes us. I wanted Sora and he wanted me."

"Kairi, it's only natural for sex to be pleasurable," I said.

"I know, but I feel so dirty," she said. "I was supposed to save myself for my husband."

"Who's to say that it won't be Sora?" I asked. "I can tell he really loves you. The guy would probably take a bullet for you."

"I know, and I hope that it is him," she said. "I love him so much. When I do get married, I want you to be my maid of honor, Xion. There's no one else I would rather have than you."

"Same here, Kairi," I said. I hadn't really thought about marriage, but I guess it would happen eventually. "I'd want it to be you too."

We drove the rest of the way home in silence. We didn't need to talk, though. Our bond as twin sisters was strong enough that we could speak volumes to each other without a single word. We were saying the most important thing that family could ever tell each other.

_**I love you.**_

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><p>Author's Note: Hey guys, so what do you think? I don't know if you liked it unless you review. Special thanks to all of you who read and review this story. I'll try not to make you wait three weeks between chapters anymore. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	7. Nothing's Like Before

Suthor's Note: Hello, here's the next chapter of Her Scars. Hope you enjoy it. I'll try to get the next chapter faster than this one. I'm wrapping up "A Heart Divided" in 2 more chapters, so when that's done I'll have more time to work on this and "Hearts of the Olympians." "Hearts of the Olympians" will have quite a few more chapters. It probably won't be as long as "Shattered Hearts," but it will be longer than "Shadow of the Slenderman." I'm also entertaining the idea of writing another story in the "Hearts" series that takes place after "A Heart Divided." It would be about 12 years after "A Heart Divided" and from the PoV of one of Sora and Kairi's children, who would be sixteen at the time. I'm leaning toward making it the daughter's PoV since I like writing for Kairi and it would be similar to her. Let me know what you guys think about that. And without further delay, here's the next installment of "Her Scars." Enjoy, friends...

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. I also don't own the songs Asylum and Crucified by Disturbed or Hymn for the Missing by RED. But do check out their albums. Both are really amazing bands.

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><p>That next day, we decided to go with Sora to Vanitas, John, Kirox, and Xorik's house. We'd already put our little…disagreement from the night before in the past. Kairi had forgiven me for being so insensitive to her guilt and pain. I worried about what would happen between her and Sora, but she told me that everything was fine between them. She had just plainly told him that they couldn't sleep together anymore, and he was fine with it. Sora was a really good man, really good for Kai. Sora respected Kairi's religious beliefs, he himself was agnostic. I had no idea what I was, to be honest. I wanted to believe there was a God, but…well…it was hard considering my circumstances. I didn't know how Kai did it. She had more faith than I would ever have.<p>

I took a shower, same hot shower I always took. That seemed to wake me up without fail. I hadn't slept very well that night. I had too much on my mind to sleep. So many things that happened that day really hurt. Seeing that song Roxas wrote really hurt me!

Why did it hurt to know what Roxas thought of me? It's not like we were still together. I had a new boyfriend, and Vanitas was ten times better to me than Roxas ever had been. I didn't know if Roxas had found someone else yet, but I suspected he might have. Good for him if he had found someone. I wanted him to be happy because he was obviously miserable.

Kairi met me at the door and we walked to her car. Her guitar and my bass were in the trunk. We'd probably end up playing music with them. Van told me last night on the phone that Xorik and John had written a song that they wanted us to learn. I think he said it was called _**Asylum**_. I'd written one that I called _**Crucified**_, but I was still unsure of whether I wanted to share it with anyone besides Kairi. She'd read it, I told her the key and time signatures I had in mind, and she'd already come up with a riff and lead. If I did decide to share it, I wanted Vanitas to sing it.

_When others left before  
>I could bear to turn away<br>Now that it's come to this  
>Is there nothing left to say?<br>I've never known before  
>Such exquisite suffering<br>As I watched you walk away  
>I gave into panicking<br>I can't believe that  
>This is really happening<br>Am I really lost again?  
>Desperation drives me insane<em>

_I will focus all the pain_  
><em>Right into your heart<em>  
><em>Till it makes you blind<em>  
><em>Till the faces of your former world<em>  
><em>Have fallen from your sight<em>  
><em>Till you're mine<em>  
><em>Until the voice of doubt no longer<em>  
><em>Dominates your mind<em>  
><em>I'm crucified<em>

_Cold and unwhole again_  
><em>Crying out and questioning<em>  
><em>Will I ever love again?<em>  
><em>What's the point of anything?<em>  
><em>It takes a toll again<em>  
><em>This is where the fun begins<em>  
><em>Visions haunt me through the night<em>  
><em>Now I'm dying for your sins<em>  
><em>I can't believe that<em>  
><em>If you look me in the face<em>  
><em>You can say there's nothing left<em>  
><em>How the silence drives me insane<em>

_I will focus all my pain  
>Right into your heart<br>Till it makes you blind  
>Till the faces of your former world<br>Have fallen from your sight  
>Till you're mine<br>Until the voice of doubt no longer  
>Dominates your mind<br>I'm crucified_

_I cannot feel anything_  
><em>Anger I've been harboring<em>  
><em>You've nailed me to the cross<em>  
><em>Upon it I will remain<em>  
><em>I can't feel anything<em>  
><em>Rage inside is festering<em>  
><em>You've nailed me to the cross<em>  
><em>Upon it I will remain<em>

_I will focus all my pain  
><em>_Right into your heart  
><em>_Till it makes you blind  
>Till the faces of your former world<br>Have fallen from your sight  
>Till you're mine<br>Until the voice of doubt no longer  
>Dominates your mind<br>I'm crucified_

I wrote that song on and off right after Roxas left me. I had hurt so much, it felt like he was actually killing me. I hated it so badly because I really loved him. But he was in the past now. I loved Vanitas more than anything and I'd be with him all day. I probably wouldn't even have to see Roxas again until the Paopu Festival. I really didn't want to go and see him there, but I wanted to support Kairi, Sora, Vanitas, and Demyx. At least Namine and all the others would be there. Despite what happened, I was still good friends with Axel and Reno. Vanitas told me Roxas had asked John to take my place in the band. I was fine with that. John was an amazing bassist, way better than I was.

I leaned against the passenger side door on my elbow with my head in my right hand. I stared as the familiar streets went by. Kai looked over to me with concern in her violet eyes. "Hey, you ok Xi?" she asked.

"Fine," I lied, very badly if I might add.

"No, I can tell you're not. I know what happened yesterday really hurt you," she said. "I know because I'm your sister and I can feel these things. Admit it that you felt something when I was sad yesterday before I even told you."

I was backed into a corner with this one. She was absolutely right. I had sensed something. "Nothing gets past you, does it Kai?" I said rhetorically. "I've just been thinking, what if I'd told Roxas everything? I mean, I love Vanitas and all. But what if I could have saved what I already had with Roxas?"

"I don't know. But I know that thinking about it too much will drive you insane," she said. "You've both moved on. You have Vanitas, and Roxas has Namine." All the blood drained from her face when she said our blond cousin's name. "I mean…well…"

"What!" I exclaimed. "Roxas is with Namine! She's our cousin! How could he do this? How could she do this?" I was furious. "How long have you known?"

"She just told me this morning," Kai said, pulling herself closer to her door and away from my angry rampage. "I talked to her on IM this morning and she said she's dating Roxas and wanted to know if you'd be ok with it. I told her I didn't know, but Xion, she really loves him. She has for a long time. And she's happier than she's ever been."

Kairi's words made me think. Maybe I was overreacting about this. Roxas and I were finished. It shouldn't matter who he dated. But I never thought he'd go for Nami. Sure, she was beautiful, smart, fun to be around, and kindhearted, but I just never pictured them together. "I guess I'm overreacting, Kairi. But I just don't like it that she's dating my ex," I said. "It's uncomfortable." Of course, this still wouldn't change my relationship with Namine. She and Kairi were the only real family I had left. I couldn't afford to have a falling out with her. I didn't consider Cid family because of what he did to us. But thankfully Namine was nothing like him. I would just have to suck it up and be happy for her.

We made it to Vanitas' shared house, but only his truck was home. I wondered if he was even home. "I'm going to go pick up Sora," Kai said. "Do you want to come with me or you want me to drop you off here?"

"I'll just stay here," I said as I got out of her car. I told her bye, closed the door, and Kairi drove off to her boyfriend's house.

I walked up to the door and knocked. Nobody answered, but the door was unlocked. Vanitas knew I was coming, so I let myself in. "Vanitas," I called out. "Are you guys home?"

I started to walk back outside and wait for Kairi to get back, but I heard a piano playing. I decided to walk through the house to check it out. I saw Vanitas playing it. Thankfully, he didn't see me. I quickly hid behind the door and listened to him. My heart broke into a million pieces when he started to sing.

_Tried to walk together  
>But the night was growing dark<br>Thought you were beside me  
>But i reached and you were gone<br>Sometimes I hear you calling from some lost and distant shore  
>I hear you crying softly for the way it was before<em>

_Where are you now?_  
><em>Are you lost?<em>  
><em>Will I find you again?<em>  
><em>Are you alone?<em>  
><em>Are you afraid?<em>  
><em>Are you searching for me?<em>  
><em>Why did you go?<em>  
><em>I had to stay<em>  
><em>Now I'm reaching for you<em>  
><em>Will you wait?<em>  
><em>Will you wait?<em>  
><em>Will I see you again?<em>

_You took it with you when you left_  
><em>These scars are just a trace<em>  
><em>Now it wanders lost and wounded<em>  
><em>This heart that I misplaced<em>

_Where are you now?  
>Are you lost?<br>Will I find you again?  
>Are you alone?<br>Are you afraid?  
>Are you searching for me?<br>Why did you go?  
>I had to stay<br>Now I'm reaching for you  
>Will you wait?<br>Will you wait?  
>Will I see you again?<em>

I started to cry after he stopped singing and the music from the keyboard faded. Vanitas had tears in his voice the whole time he was singing. He could only be singing about Ventus. Since Ven died, Vanitas had held his grief in and never showed it. His outburst at the hospital the day of Ven's death was the only time any of us had seen him in pain. I guess he just didn't want to show his grief. This song unloaded every ounce of pain Vanitas felt in his heart for Ven. "I know you're out there, Xion," he said. "You can come in, I don't mind."

I tried to dry my tears from my eyes and compose myself before going in. I did a miserable job of it, though. I still shed a few tears as I walked through the door. The only thing I could do was wrap my arms around him. He scooted over on the bench and let me sit down, but I didn't let go. For some reason, I thought he'd fall apart if I didn't hold him together. "I love you, Vanitas," I said through my tears. "I know what that song was about. And I'm here for you if you need me."

"I know, baby. And thank you so much, Xion," he said, trying to restrain his sorrow. He embraced me tighter as he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom. It didn't really register in my mind what we were about to do. We just went along with the emotions that we couldn't help but feel. We were about to get closer than ever before.

Vanitas pulled me so closely, that there was no space between our bodies. They molded with each other perfectly. It was like we were made specifically to be together. I kissed him passionately and he kissed me back with equal passion. A small part of my mind was scared. I was afraid it would hurt like it did with Cid. Vanitas seemed to read my mind. "Don't worry; I won't hurt you, Xion. And if I do, please tell me and I'll stop." I shook my head in agreement as our emotions controlled our actions and he physically expressed his love for me.

Apparently, we'd fallen asleep afterward. I woke up lying next to him in his bed. I was a little sore, but that was just from exerting energy. It was the first time I'd had sex that I actually wanted it. When Cid raped me, I would just lay there and wait for it to be over. I didn't want it to end, ever. I wanted to be in Vanitas' embrace for eternity. He was so sweet to me, and I, for the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed sex.

I rolled over, the blanket covering me, and wrapped my arm around Vanitas' strong chest. His eyes slowly opened as he touched my hand. "Oh, baby," he said, exhaustion in his voice. "That was so awesome!"

"Yeah," I replied. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said. He leaned back over me and kissed me softly. He pulled away quickly. "Oh crap," he exclaimed. "It's almost 12! The guys are coming back from their cousin's in a few minutes. Get dressed fast!" We both jumped out of bed and hastily put our clothes back on and getting rid of all evidence of our little encounter.

We couldn't have had more perfect timing. Kirox, John, Xorik, Kairi, and Sora came barging in right after I put my tank top back over my shoulders. "Hey, Vanitas," Kirox called out. "You and Xion still here?"

"Yeah, we're here," he said. We walked to the living room and Kairi looked at me, blushing. I had a feeling she somehow knew I'd slept with Vanitas.

"So, what have you two done while we were gone?" Sora asked. Kairi quickly jabbed him in the ribs when nobody would see.

"Oh, nothing," I said, trying not to blush. "Hey, Xorik, weren't you going to show us a new song you wrote?"

"Yeah, but I'll do that later," he said. "Let's just chill out for a while, ok?"

"Ok," I said. "But I thought you were excited to show us."

"I was, but I'm a little too pissed to do anything now," he said as he stormed off to his room. I wondered what got him so bent out of shape.

When he was clear of the room, I leaned over to Kirox and asked him what happened.

"This girl he's been dating for about a year just broke up with him today. She told him that she couldn't handle this long-distance relationship and has been seeing another guy back in Twilight Town since we left," he said. "She told him it was over, he called her some nasty names, and they officially broke up. The sad part is, he really loved her. I'd never known Xorik to get so upset about something, but that girl really did a number on him."

I really felt bad for him. I knew what it was like to have someone leave when you still loved them. Roxas had hurt me deeply. And I hated it that we couldn't even be friends anymore. I knew everyone else still liked Roxas, but they never hung out with him much anymore because of what happened between us. My friends were sacrificing so much so I wouldn't be alone. I truly, deeply, genuinely loved all of them.

About half an hour had passed and Xorik decided to come back to the living room and hang out with us. He was still too upset to play music, so we didn't learn that new song. We sat around most of that day and watched TV, played some Rock Band, and ordered a few pizzas. The great thing about four guys sharing a rented house, they all had jobs, split the rent, split the bills, and still had enough money left over to live comfortably. Thankfully, their landlord, Mickey, wasn't a complete jerk and he let the four of them stay there for the same he would have charged one person. I think he felt sorry for Vanitas that Ven had died so suddenly. Mickey was a short man with big ears and a big nose. His nickname was Mickey Mouse because of the ears and nose. He didn't mind, though. Actually, I think he started it himself. He and his wife, Minnie, lived down the street from the guys' house. Sora's family had known them for a long time and told Mickey that Sora's cousins and three friends needed a place to stay while they went to college, so Mickey let them rent the house. All in all, that day was a great day. I prayed that things would stay this way for a while, but you know how life has a funny way of proving you wrong.

It was finally time for me and Kai to go home. We didn't want to go, but that house was too small for the both of us to stay the night. Besides, Vanitas and Kirox had to get up early for work that next morning. I got into the passenger's side as Kairi sat in the driver's side. "So, I think something more happened today between you and Vanitas while we were all gone," she said bluntly. "What really happened?"

I honestly wasn't embarrassed by her forwardness. She was my twin. I could talk to her about anything. "I had sex with him," I said. "And it was so wonderful. You were right, Kai. It's nothing like it is with Cid."

"You two are truly serious about each other, aren't you?" she mused.

"I love him more than anything," I replied. "You don't think any less of me if I don't feel guilty for sleeping with him, do you?"

"Of course not, Xion," she said. "If I were to be disappointed with you for having sex with your boyfriend, I'd be a hypocrite. I did the exact same thing yesterday. Granted I was sorry that I did because of what I believe. But I know you don't feel the same way I do. I wish you would give this life a chance, but I can't force you. I probably wouldn't try to force you if I could, anyway. It has to be a sincere willingness. You have to have a desire to be a Christian. It's not just something you can do on the side. It has to be your life."

"Kai, I do believe you're right about God and all that, but I just don't know if I could do it," I said, spilling my guts to her. "It seems like too fine of a line to walk."

"It is hard sometimes," she admitted. "You don't know how much I want to be with Sora like I was last night. But I know I can't do it. I have to wait. The rape isn't held against me because I don't do it of my own, free will. But I can't just willingly go against my beliefs. I don't want to be a hypocrite. I'd be no better than Cid himself if I did that."

I placed my hand on her shoulder and smiled. "I love you, sis," I said. "I love you more than you'll ever know."

"I love you too, Xion," she said, tears in her voice. Our love was so deep. It was the bond between twin sisters who had no one else in the world besides each other. We had a dead mother, an absentee father who I cared nothing for, and an uncle that sexually abused us. Kairi and Namine were the only two people I could really call my family. And they were truly enough for me. But I loved Kairi far more than I did Namine for the sole fact that Kai was my sister. I loved Nami as much as any cousin would, but Kai was my world. She was my rock, my best friend, and my only immediate family. I didn't know what I would ever do if I lost her. It frightened me to think about what could tear us apart. One thing, though, always seemed to be the most likely candidate. And that was breast cancer, the disease that took our mother away from us.

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><p>Author's Note: Hey guys, how did you like it? What did you think of those last two sentences? A little foreshadowing of "In the Arms of the Angels" where Kairi does indeed die from untreated breast cancer. Review button is down there. I'd like to thank Dragginninja and Bringmetolife13 for being the only reviewers of this story. Everybody else, follow their example. Thanks again to everyone who reads and reviews this story. I do this because I love writing stories that people enjoy. Remember to check out my other stories, and the ones written by Dragginninja, Maisuki-Chan, and Master'sEnd. Dragginninja and I have a collaboration on his profile called "Battle Royale." It's a battlefic that takes KH characters and has them fight different characters from other franchises. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	8. Whatever Lies Beyond This Morning

Author's Note: Hey, it's me again. Here's the new chapter of "Her Scars." Hope you guys enjoy it. This chapter takes a deeper look into some areas of Xorik and Xion's pasts. Thanks to Dragginninja for letting me use Kirox and a severely OCC Xorik from his Nobody's Heartless series. Enjoy, friends...

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><p>We didn't go home immediately that night. After leaving Kirox, John, Xorik, and Vanitas' house, we decided to waste as much time as we could and try to stay out until we knew Cid would be asleep. Because honestly, neither of us had the strength that night to take another beating or rape.<p>

After driving around the island for half an hour, we pulled in the parking lot of Burger King and decided to get something to eat. I looked in the window and saw Xorik sitting there, alone, looking very depressed. "Kai, you see Xorik in there?" I said, nudging her on the arm.

"Yeah, he looks horrible," she said. His long, black hair wasn't in the usual ponytail. He just had it hanging down in tatted knots. He was resting his head in his left hand and picking a cheeseburger apart with is right. My heart broke for my friend. I felt bad that his girlfriend left him because he came here to go to college.

"I'll order," Kai said. "You can go sit next to Xorik." I agreed. She knew what I wanted, the same thing I always ordered.

I walked over to Xorik's table. "Hey, you mind if I sit here?" I asked.

"Hey Xion," he said. "Nah, I don't mind."

"Kairi's here too," I added. "She's ordering our food." I decided to be a little forward. I didn't know if that was the best thing to do, but it was worth a shot. "Look, I can tell you're going through a hard time. A breakup is a tough thing, especially when it wasn't over in your mind. Believe me, I know. Roxas destroyed me when he left me. But you'll find someone else. Look at me, for example. I'm happier than ever with Vanitas."

"That may have worked for you, but I'm not exactly the guy everyone wants to be around," he said, sorrow coating every syllable. "Olette was the only girl I ever had. Everyone else was just too afraid of me. I seem to scare people a lot."

"You don't scare me," I said, "or Kairi, Vanitas, Sora, Roxas, Axel, Tifa, Cloud, Namine, and Demyx. You're one of the most normal people I know."

"You guys just don't know me very well," he said. "I'm sure Vanitas warned you about me when he told you I was coming, right? Well, that's because I'm bi-polar and wouldn't take my meds. I started taking them when I came here. Before, I would be cool around people, and then the next minute I'd be throwing punches, breaking things, and cussing everyone out for no reason. I had one of the worst cases my shrink had ever seen. He said it was so bad, I was a danger to myself and everyone else if I didn't take my medicine."

"But you're better now, right? I have no reason to be afraid of you," I said. I didn't think any different of Xorik for this. I had issues of my own. Just a few years ago, I was depressed, bitter, and at one time, suicidal. I didn't have any reason to judge Xorik.

"I guess, Xion," he said, laughing and actually taking a bite of his burger for once. "Actually, it was Vanitas, Ven, John, and Kirox that made me straighten up and take my pills."

Kairi came back with our tray and we all three started eating. I didn't realize how hungry I really was. My fries were gone before I even knew what had happened. Same thing happened with Kai. I actually went back to get another order of fries.

"You two are bottomless pits," Xorik said, chuckling and almost choking on a fry. "Hey, I'm really glad I met you two here tonight. You really helped, Xion."

"It's no problem," I said. "We are friends, after all."

"Yeah, I know. But I've never been used to people actually being comfortable around me and not being afraid of me." He was staring down. "Vanitas and Ven were my only friends besides my brothers. Ya know, I miss Ven a lot."

Kai spoke up. "He seemed like a great guy. I didn't get to know him very well, but I did talk to him a few times over the phone just a few weeks before he died."

"Yeah," Xorik said. "He told me. He said you were like an angel or something."

Kairi blushed at the comparison, which I believed was totally true. "It's just so unreal that it even happened. And it doesn't seem like it was three and a half weeks ago."

"Yeah," Xorik replied. "John, Kirox, and I didn't even get to come to the funeral."

"That's so sad," I said. "The whole service was so depressing. I cried, and I didn't even know him at all. I'd met him all of one time at Sora's eighteenth birthday earlier this year. I was surprised at how much he looked like Roxas."

"We used to give him and Roxas such a hard time about that. We'd tell Roxas he was Seifer's son and Vanitas was just switched at birth. It would drive him crazy." I had always wondered what Roxas did when he and Axel visited Twilight Town besides stay with Reno. It never occurred to me really that they had other friends there. I couldn't wait to move there and away from Cid.

Xorik was happier than I'd ever seen him before. It must have been good for him to remember all the good times with Ven.

We stayed there until it was closing time and they ran us off. "Well, girls," Xorik said, "it was nice meeting you here tonight."

"Same here, Xorik," I said. "Goodnight."

"Night," he said as he got in his car and drove toward his home. Kai and I decided it was time to go home as well. I looked at the time, midnight, and we both knew that Cid would be passed out drunk by now. It would be safe.

We quietly walked into our dark home. Cid was in his armchair, out cold from 2 bottles of cheap whiskey. I told Kairi goodnight and went to bed. It was hard for me to sleep, however. I wanted so badly for Vanitas to be lying next to me like he was earlier that morning. I wanted to run my fingers through his thick, black hair. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and let me know I would be safe, especially in my own home. I feared for my life every second I was there. The day Kai and I would move out seemed like it would never come.

I don't know why, but for some reason, a tear came out of my eye. Maybe it was because Vanitas couldn't be beside me, maybe because of what Cid did to us, maybe a tear for Roxas, or maybe even mom. To this day, I don't know why.

Eventually, I slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep. Those were always the best. They allowed me to rest and prepare for one more day of uncertainty. Would I get raped, beaten, or would Cid accidentally kill me while he was torturing me? He always cut me with broken glass and razors. One wrong move and I'd bleed out. Sometimes, I truly wanted to die. I wouldn't have a problem with it if Cid slit my throat. The only reason I hoped he wouldn't was because of Kairi. She needed someone to be there for her, someone who knows what she goes through. I loved her to much to give in and let myself die. Dying would be the most selfish thing I could do.

I woke that next morning feeling refreshed and ready to bear a new day. I had no idea what I was going to do, nor did I really care. As long as it got me and Kai out of this house, I was even willing to be abducted by aliens.

I slid out of bed and unbarricaded my door. I didn't have much in front of it. I blocked it with my computer desk chair, my nightstand, and an old TV that didn't work anymore. Cid was a fairly strong man to be his age. He could have easily broken down my barrier. But for some reason, having those things in front of my door really gave me a sense of security, a false one, maybe, but still a sense of security.

I took a hot shower, washed my hair, and dried off. Before I got dressed, I scanned over my body in the mirror. Every scar held a sad story. Some were from the beating/raping ritual Cid always put us through, some were innocent accidents that I got while playing when I was little, and some-the ones on my wrists and forearms-were self-inflicted when I was going through depression a few years back. One ran from the top of my right breast, down my stomach, and ended at my belly button. I lightly traced it downward as I thought back. I remembered that night perfectly. It was the first time I actually thought I was going to die when Cid was cutting me to pieces. That wound bled so much, and it took an entire first aid kit's worth of gauze to stop the bleeding. Of course, I didn't get treated until Cid was finished with me. They all had one thing in common, though. Ever scar marred my body. I wondered how Vanitas could find me beautiful like this. He'd actually seen every scar. He even kissed a few of them. He said I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. I was probably thinking about it too much. He loved me, and our relationship was as intimate as you could possibly get. Cid may have taken my virginity, but Vanitas was my real first time.

I stopped looking at my scars and got dressed. I wore a violet-blue tank top, same color as my eyes, and a pair of denim shorts. My hair was starting to get longer, coming down to my neck. I'd have to get a haircut soon. I had thought about letting it grow out like Kairi's, but I was unsure. I thought it was pretty the way it was. I also had a few red roots showing. I'd stop and get some black hair dye at the store later.

I was unsure of what exactly we'd do that day, but I was happy that Kai agreed to go somewhere. We got in her car, turned up the music, and drove down the streets of the main island of the Destiny Islands.

It was such a beautiful place, really. A perpetual beach encircled the whole island, not breaking at one point. Cliffs overlooked some of the beaches, while others were easily accessible by car. In the center of the island there were three dormant volcanoes. I had climbed up there a few times. The first time was when I was thirteen, actually, to see if the smaller one was still active. The thought of throwing myself into it ran through my mind, but I probably would have never gone through with it. Even if it was active, burning alive seemed like probably the worst death ever. Now, I would go up there occasionally to be alone and write songs. There was a beautiful view from the top of the smaller one. I didn't have the endurance to climb the largest.

Many small neighborhoods and towns dotted the landscape. Kai and I lived in one of the smaller neighborhoods. In the largest town, which was not very far from where I lived, there was the mall, the high school, the college, and many small businesses. It was also the capital of Destiny Islands. My last year of school would be spent at Destiny High before Kairi and I left this place for good and went to college at Twilight University.

"Have any idea where we're going, Kai?" I spoke up.

"Not a clue, Xi," she laughed. She was resting her head in her left hand and driving with her right, like always. It was habit, really. She wasn't bored like someone would think. That's just how she drove. "What do you want to do?"

"Not a clue," I said, repeating her. "Let's hang out at the mall or something."

"Ok," she said as she drove toward the mall.

We arrived in a matter of minutes. That's what I loved about living on a small island. Everything was close to each other. We pulled into a parking space and walked in the mall. The first thing we always do when we come to the mall, go to the music store and play the instruments. Squall and Rinoa didn't mind that we'd play everything and never buy since they were old friends of dad. Dad…I didn't even want to think of Irvine Kinneas. It felt good to play things we'd never afford in a million years.

That's not to say Kai and I were broke. We just spent what money we had in a way that would make it last for a while. We lived off the remains of mom's life insurance, which Cid knew nothing about. We still had a decent amount that hadn't gone to her funeral costs. One good thing I could say about my father, he took out hefty insurance policies on himself and mom. He wanted me and Kairi to be secure if one or both of them died. He put it in a bank account for us to withdraw whenever we needed it. Honestly, if he had really wanted us to be alright, he wouldn't have stuck us with Cid. But my dad wasn't always a Heartless monster. He loved us before mom died. I don't know what happened to make him want to leave us after she died, but I know I'll never forgive him for it. I'll die hating Irvine for abandoning us. If Kairi could forgive him, that's good for her. But I'm not as great of a person as she is.

We walked into Lionheart Music and were greeted by Rinoa and Squall. Well, Rinoa mostly. Squall was a very quiet man, similar to Cloud. "Hello girls," Rinoa said.

"Hi" we both replied.

"Anything we can help you with? Or are you here to play?" she asked.

"Just looking around," Kai said. "Thanks anyway."

"If you need anything, just ask me or Squall," she said before going into the back.

The first thing Kairi went for, a red Ibanez RG3EXFM1. The only guitars that she loved as much as B.C. Rich were Ibanez. And I could see why she loved them. They were sleek, had great sound quality, and had very fast fretboards. I'd played some of the Ibanez basses from time to time, though I had never found anything that I liked better than my Les Paul bass.

I just sat there, watching my sister make that guitar sing like never before. She played the solo from "Tears Don't Fall" by Bullet for my Valentine. That was my favorite song and she knew it. The guitar was in a different tuning, but I still recognized it despite the different key she was playing in. I watched in awe as her fingers smoothly and gracefully glided across the ebony fretboard at lightning speed. I couldn't do that on a guitar. But I was pretty fast on a bass. I tried to play a lead bass style similar to Cliff Burton from Metallica and Geddy Lee from Rush. They were my two favorite bassists. Of course, speed isn't everything. You've got to have the ability to make it sound good. Anyone can randomly hit notes as fast as Kairi was playing, but she was a master. She made it sound so beautiful.

Kai was playing an original guitar lead when we were surprised by Demyx. "Ladies, what's up?" he said.

"Demyx!" I squealed. I hadn't seen him since the beach and didn't really get to talk to him that much because of…well…the incident with Roxas. I stood up and hugged him. He was the only guy I knew of with a mullet that didn't look like a redneck. He actually made it look cool.

"Hey, Demyx," Kai said, hanging the beautiful guitar back on the rack. "What are you doing here?"

"What else? I practically live here," he replied. "That…and I had to get away from that demon I call my sister." Ahh yes, Larxene. Where to begin about her? She prided in making everyone else's lives absolute misery. She was the most cruel, sadistic, heartless person ever. After mom died, she gave me a hard time because of how much I changed. She had all kinds of names for me. "Emo," "loser," "freak," and "little orphan girl" were some of the nicer ones. She knew I was depressed, unstable, and suicidal. I wasn't very good at hiding the fact that I wanted to die. She'd just taunt me by saying, "Go ahead and get it over with, Xi-whore. Nobody would miss you, anyway. You'd be doing everyone else a favor by offing yourself. Die like your mommy." God I hated that woman so much! I had no idea what Axel saw in her. Yes, I said it. Axel and Larxene were together. He put up with so much from her. The lying, screaming, her cheating on him with Marluxia—who everyone in the school could have sworn was gay—and all the beatings she'd give him if he didn't do exactly as she asked. He could have done so much better, but there was something about her that he liked. None of us could figure out what that something was, but it was obviously there by the way he'd hang on her every word.

"I don't know how you live with Larxene," I said. Demyx knew what she'd put me through and he always stood up for me. "Aren't you afraid for your life?"

"Yeah, all the time," he said. "She carries about eight or nine yellow throwing knives anywhere she goes. I'm afraid she's gonna slit my throat or something."

"She'll probably end up in jail for murder," I thought aloud. "Or at least maiming someone beyond recognition."

"And I'm afraid that someone will be me," Demyx said, laughing nervously and trying to pass it off as a joke. I knew that those fears were real, though. You'd be surprised at the things people go through that they don't tell anyone.

"Don't worry," Kai said. "You'll be fine. She's moving out at the end of summer, right?"

"Yeah," he said. "And I heard Axel was moving in with her, but I'm not sure. She's lied to me before. I'd ask Axel, but I don't know." I was out of the loop when it came to that family. I never made up with Roxas and I rarely saw Axel anymore. That made me sad because I really liked Axel. He was like an older brother to me. I really wanted to salvage what friendship I could still have with Roxas, but I was afraid of what he'd say. He told me that day at the beach that he didn't hate me, but that song said otherwise. How could he write something so cruel if he didn't hate me? I did hurt him, though. And he said he wrote it right after we broke up, so that probably explains it. Maybe it was just my pride…not that I even had much of that to begin with.

Demyx eventually decided to leave after we finished talking. He bought a few new picks and a set of heavy-gauge strings for his guitar. He was playing in drop tunings more often and needed strings that could hold up. The Ernie Ball Regular Slinky strings that Kai always bought held up well in drop tunings as low as A#, but Demyx didn't like them.

We left the music store and went for a walk on the nearby beach. It was a moderately hot day and we were wearing our bikinis underneath our clothes like always. It was just more convenient to do that when you were never more than a five minute drive away from a beach. We left our clothes on, though. We hadn't decided if we'd take a swim or not. We just walked along the beach and admired the view of the horizon. We walked on the part right where the tide stopped. The water felt cool on our feet and our toes slightly sank into the sand. "Beautiful, isn't it?" Kairi asked as we sat down and looked out to the sea.

"Yeah, it is," I replied. I picked up a bright pink seashell. I collected them and this was my first one that was a solid pink. "Sometimes, this makes me forget about…well, you know."

"Yeah, it makes me forget too. I wish we never had to go back home."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Sorry about what? How is anything your fault?" she asked curiously.

"If I'd never hurt Roxas, we'd still be welcome to stay at his place. Now we have to go back home every night and it's my fault," I said, holding back a few tears by biting my lip.

"That isn't your fault, Xion. Roxas just overreacted. He should have known that anything you didn't tell him must have been too personal and he should have just dropped it. I thought he was smarter than that to think that you'd hide something from him just because you wanted to," she said, trying to comfort me. "It's not your fault and Roxas will see that eventually."

"I love you, Kairi," I said as I hugged my beautiful twin sister. "You always seem to know what to say to cheer me up."

"I love you too, Xion," she replied. "You're all I have as far as close family goes. Namine is a great cousin, but that's nothing compared to a sister like you. You keep me sane."

"Same here, Kai," I said. No matter what crazy things my life threw at me, Kairi was always the one constant. She was the part that balanced the equation and caused everything to make sense. She was my everything. I'd give my life for her in a heartbeat without any hesitation.

We sat on the beach and watched the waves crash and the tide reach our toes. All in all, it was one of those days that made life worth living.

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><p>Author's Note: So, what do you guys think? Next update will be "A Heart Divided." It will be the final chapter and then you'll get "Hearts of the Olympians." After HotO is finished, then the sequel of AHD will be published. It will be from the PoV of my OC, Yami. Remember to check out the other stories and my fanfiction friends. Drop a review and tell me how you like it. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	9. My Asylum

Author's Note: Hey here's an earlier chapter than what you're probably used to from me. lol. This chapter basically wrote itself, so that's why it didn't take long. I sat and typed most of it in one sitting. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the song Asylum by Disturbed. But it is a great song from a great album.

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><p>We stayed at the beach for about an hour. It was great. The breeze from the ocean was so cool and refreshing. I felt so alive. Kairi seemed to be enjoying herself too. She almost stepped on a jellyfish, but managed to barely miss it. We laughed at how badly that could have ended. Kai was actually more allergic to jellyfish than most people. She could really die from a sting by the least deadly jellyfish. We always had to keep an eye out when we went swimming. It was a good thing they were rare around here. That one on the beach had been the first one I'd seen in years.<p>

We decided to head back and pay John, Kirox, Xorik, and Vanitas a visit. Kairi called Sora and asked if he wanted to come too. He said yes, of course. Vanitas and Kirox had just got off work. I couldn't wait to see Van. I loved him so much.

All of the cars were home, as well as Sora's. I knocked on the door and John opened it. "Xion, Kairi, what's up girls?" he said.

"Hi John," I replied. We walked in and sat on the couch.

"Are you girls ready to learn that song I wrote?" Xorik asked.

"Yeah, what did you have in mind?" Kairi said.

"I was thinking I'd do lead vocals, you would play lead guitar, John would be rhythm guitar, Xion on bass, Kirox on synthesizer, Vanitas would back me up for vocals, and Sora would play drums," he said. "It's a heavy song. You think you can come up with a cool lead? John already has the riff."

"Sure," Kai said. "Let's see the lyrics."

_**Release me**_

_**No remnants were ever found of it**_  
><em><strong>Feeling the hot bile<strong>_  
><em><strong>With every fake smile<strong>_  
><em><strong>Though no evidence was ever found<strong>_  
><em><strong>It never went away completely<strong>_

_**I try to hide from the unholy sound of it**_  
><em><strong>Another day gone<strong>_  
><em><strong>Another night's dawn<strong>_  
><em><strong>Dark forces pull me underground<strong>_  
><em><strong>And never went away completely<strong>_

_**How can I feel this empty?**_  
><em><strong>I will not recover this time<strong>_  
><em><strong>This loneliness is killing me<strong>_

_**Will I never know peace of mind again?**_  
><em><strong>I don't believe it<strong>_  
><em><strong>I can't achieve it<strong>_  
><em><strong>I think it all is just another sign<strong>_  
><em><strong>It never went away completely<strong>_

_**Terror is coursing in me**_  
><em><strong>Dreading the final moments<strong>_  
><em><strong>Where I have to be<strong>_  
><em><strong>And feel you die<strong>_

_**In Asylum (I live a lie)**_  
><em><strong>Don't you know I'm in love with you<strong>_  
><em><strong>And I wasn't ready<strong>_  
><em><strong>For Asylum (Relive a lie)<strong>_  
><em><strong>To let go<strong>_  
><em><strong>Now it's dragging me into your grave<strong>_  
><em><strong>Your Asylum (Forget the lie)<strong>_  
><em><strong>Overcome and the feeling that I won't get to join you in time<strong>_  
><em><strong>For the loneliness is killing me<strong>_

_**Death's images are all around again**_  
><em><strong>They're right behind me<strong>_  
><em><strong>They're gonna find me<strong>_  
><em><strong>Judgment for the immoral sin<strong>_  
><em><strong>That has enveloped me completely<strong>_

_**I know I'll never know a peaceful night again**_  
><em><strong>Afraid they'll hear me<strong>_  
><em><strong>They don't fear me<strong>_  
><em><strong>Punishment for the immoral crime<strong>_  
><em><strong>That debt was never paid completely<strong>_

_**Terror is coursing in me**_  
><em><strong>Dreading the final moments<strong>_  
><em><strong>Where I have to be<strong>_  
><em><strong>And feel you die<strong>_

_**In Asylum (I live a lie)**_  
><em><strong>Don't you know I'm in love with you<strong>_  
><em><strong>And I wasn't ready<strong>_  
><em><strong>For Asylum (Relive a lie)<strong>_  
><em><strong>To let go<strong>_  
><em><strong>Now it's dragging me into your grave<strong>_  
><em><strong>Your Asylum (Forget the lie)<strong>_  
><em><strong>Overcome and the feeling that I won't get to join you in time<strong>_  
><em><strong>For the loneliness is killing me<strong>_

_**In the end there will be no suffering (more suffering)**_  
><em><strong>In the end we will find out everything (not everything)<strong>_  
><em><strong>In the end you may question your belief (what belief)<strong>_  
><em><strong>In the end you will realize someday<strong>_  
><em><strong>How you were saved<strong>_  
><em><strong>This has gone on too long (too long)<strong>_  
><em><strong>No more demonic Dreams<strong>_  
><em><strong>Destroyer come to light<strong>_  
><em><strong>Because the memory is killing me<strong>_

_**In Asylum (I live a lie)**_  
><em><strong>I let go<strong>_  
><em><strong>now it's dragging me into your grave<strong>_  
><em><strong>For Asylum (We live a lie)<strong>_  
><em><strong>Overcome and the feeling that I won't get to join you in time<strong>_  
><em><strong>This world is not fulfilling me<strong>_

_**Don't make me live in Asylum**_  
><em><strong>I live alive<strong>_  
><em><strong>Don't want to live in Asylum<strong>_  
><em><strong>I live a lie<strong>_  
><em><strong>Don't make me live in Asylum<strong>_  
><em><strong>I am a lie<strong>_

After we read the lyrics, we spent the rest of the day figuring out what we wanted for the song. Xorik said it was supposed to be heavy and encouraged me and Sora to come up with the most hard-hitting rhythm we could think of and still keep it sounding awesome. John's riff wasn't very hard to follow, even for someone like me who doesn't use a pick. I never liked using them on a bass. I figured that's what my fingers were for.

It was time for me and Kai to go home eventually. I had a bad feeling, but I ignored it. We pulled into the driveway and the lights were on. Cid was awake. "Great," I said.

"I know what you mean Xi," she said. "Let's get this over with. Maybe he's not in the mood to torture us."

"Yeah, he'll not be in the mood to torture us when Rush, Kansas, and Queensryche get inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame," I said. And that would be never since progressive rock was deliberately snubbed by the people in charge of it. "I really hope he's dead."

"Xion!" she exclaimed.

"It's true," I replied. "I hate him and I wish he'd just go off and die." It was tough for me to substitute "go" for another word, but I didn't curse around Kairi. I didn't like to at all, really. Very rarely did something slip out. Last time was when Larxene was giving Kairi a hard time about her faith just before the seniors got off school for good. I gave her the most awful mouthful ever and even threatened to beat the crap out of her. She didn't dare mess with Kai after that. Kairi had run off to the car to be alone and pull herself together. I'd never seen my sister in so much pain that hadn't been inflicted by Cid or dad. I hated Larxene for being so cruel. What Axel saw in her, I've never been able to figure it out. Maybe he was just oblivious to how she was, or maybe he didn't care. But how could he not have known she cheated on him constantly with Marluxia?

We got out of the car and walked to the door. I slowly turned the knob and the door opened with a noticeable creak. This dump was falling apart. The paint outside was chipping, the floorboards were loose, and mice were in the kitchen. Kai and I quietly walked through the living room. Cid was in his chair, watching a rerun of MacGyver. I liked that show, but my favorite show with Richard Anderson was Stargate SG-1. It was funny how they had the running joke of Daniel constantly dying, similar to Kenny on South Park. "You girls home?" he asked. Crap.

"Yeah," I said, being brave. He actually seemed like he had something on his mind.

"Are you ok, Cid?" Kairi asked. I hated that she was actually concerned for him, but she'd be concerned for a baby murderer if he looked depressed. She was far too sweet for her own good.

"I'm fine," he responded. "But why do you care? After all I put you through, don't you hate me?" My mind was screaming 'Yes,' but I knew Kairi didn't feel that way.

"I don't hate you, Cid," she said. "I don't hate anyone."

"You will after tonight," he said as he leaped from his chair and attacked us with a long, sharp steak-knife. We ran as fast as we could through the cluttered house toward Kairi's room. She ran in first and I barricaded the door with my body until she could get her dresser. Thankfully, he couldn't get in through her window because it had metal bars around it—something I installed for her safety—and it was too high off the ground for Cid to reach. "Let me in you stupid sluts," he screamed. "Y'all are gonna regret this when I finally get my hands on you! I swear you'll suffer!"

We were safe, for the moment at least, but still safe. Kairi and I sat on our bed and I held her tightly. We both cried into each other's hair, knowing that we still had one more year of this Hell before things ever got better for us. Graduation and Twilight Town seemed so far away for us. "This is why I hate him, Kairi," I said. "He treats us like we're nothing but punching bags and sex slaves."

"I understand, Xion, but I can't hate him. I have to constantly forgive him for all he does to us," she said. "You have to understand sis. This is who I am."

"I love you Kairi," I said with tears in my eyes. "Hey, I want to go to church with you tomorrow morning." I had seriously been thinking about it for a while and decided I'd go with her. Her church met Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, and Wednesday nights, but she only went Sunday mornings for some reason.

Her eyes lit up in excitement. "You really want to? Oh Xion," she said as she hugged me tighter. She was so happy. I'd always go with her, but I wouldn't actually go inside. I'd take the car and drive around until it was time to come back and get her. There was no way I'd be staying home alone with Cid, but until now, I had no desire to go inside that building with Kairi. I'd noticed, however, that she was a whole lot happier than I was. Maybe it was because she was looking beyond our current situation, whereas our circumstances were all I could see.

We drifted off to sleep eventually. I didn't dream, thankfully. Before I knew it, it was time to get up and get dressed. I wanted to look nice, but Kairi told me that it didn't matter. I'd be fine with jeans and a t-shirt. I grabbed my black Skillet shirt and dark jeans while Kairi wore a pink shirt and lighter jeans. "You ready, Xion," she asked.

"Yeah," I replied. We headed out to her car and drove to the church. It was a beautiful building. It was shaped like your stereotypical church building. The exterior was white and there were many bushes and flowers around the front. The parking lot had a basketball goal for the youth group. I wondered why Kairi never talked about her friends here. I was sure there were other teenagers, but she never mentioned them. We walked inside and it was very beautiful. They had rows of chairs going from the front to the back with an aisle down the middle. The floor was hardwood and the walls were a light blue. The instruments on stage were just waiting to be played. I saw the most beautiful red Fender P Bass ever. It was only my second time being there. The first was last Easter.

We were greeted by her pastor. He was an average-height man with graying hair and blue eyes. "Goodmorning Kairi," he welcomed. "And is this your sister?"

"Nice to meet you, sir," I said. "I'm Xion."

"Kairi's mentioned you a time or two. She always speaks very highly of you," he said. She spoke highly…of me? What was there to respect about me? I was just a normal girl that lived with her twin sister and a rapist.

"It's good to finally meet you," he added. I nodded and we took our seats toward the middle of the church. There were a group of teenagers to our left in the other aisle and I could feel their stares burrowing into me. I looked over and saw them snickering and pointing. They immediately stopped when my face hardened into a glare.

"What's their problem Kai?" I asked.

"Oh, them?" she asked. "They don't like me much."

"Why?" I asked. It was unfathomable in my mind that someone didn't like Kairi.

"Because I'm different," she said. I could tell she was holding back a tear at the thought of it. "They all act like their perfect and never do anything wrong. They don't like me because of the people I hang out with and the fact that Sora's an agnostic. Also, somehow they got word that I had sex with Sora and are giving me a hard time about that."

"Why do you still come here if the people treat you like crap?" I said.

"Because I'm not here for them," she said. The music started soon after and it was really good. It didn't sound any different from what Kai and I played except the lyrics had a religious message. Kairi was really getting into it, but I was just sitting back, admiring the tone and rhythm of that bass. The girl playing it was really great. Eventually, the music was over and the pastor started preaching. I tried to pay attention the best I could. It mostly went over my head since I was unfamiliar with the whole concept of religion. All I knew about the Bible was what Kairi had said. I honestly don't remember when she got into all this. I think our childhood friend, Hope Estheim, invited her when we were about fourteen. It was after dad left and we moved in with Cid. Hope and his mom died in a bridge collapse a few years ago in the city of Cocoon on their way to visit family. It was very sad. He was only a kid.

Eventually, the service was over. Kairi and I stood up and started to walk out the door. I could feel the eyes of those other kids burrowing into my back. I started to turn around and give them a piece of my mind, but Kairi grabbed my arm. "Xion, starting something won't do any good," she said. "They just don't understand me. Really, I don't care."

"But they're talking about you behind your back, probably starting rumors and everything. Doesn't that bother you?" I asked.

"No, not really," she said. "It does a little, but what's all that going to matter in ten years? I'll have forgotten all about it by then and I'll be happy with the people I love. I'll be with a husband that loves me, maybe a few kids, and living in a house in Radiant Garden. And of course you, sis."

"Yeah, I'll never be too far away from you," I said. "We've gotta stick together, right?"

"Yeah," she said. I had no idea what the future held for the two of us, but I hoped that we'd be as close as we are now for the rest of our lives.

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><p>Author's Note: So, how did you guys like it? It got a little intese with that youth group there, didn't it? I had initially written a confrontation, but decided against it. I'd let Xion be the bigger person. Not all Christians are like that, though. But I have met some that really are. They're the ones that give us the bad reputation we have cause everyone pays attention to the idiots :. Remember to drop a review. "Hearts of the Olympians" will be your next update. About five or six more chapter "planned" for it. You never know, I could write more. It's hard to tell with me. lol. Anyway, remember to check out my fanfiction friends' stories. Until next time, friends...

P.S. I added that little joke about Rush, Kansas, and Queensryche not being in the R&R Hall of Fame because I feel progressive rock bands truly deserve a spot. But they don't let prog in for some reason. If Madonna can get in, then at least Rush should be allowed in. Seriously, people!


	10. Dark Clouds With Silver Linings

Author's Note: Hey, another shorter chapter than I'm used to writing. This was five pages on Microsoft Word. But don't worry, this isn't filler. Not by a long shot. A lot happens in this short amount of time. Enjoy, friends...

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><p>The week came and went. It was Thursday, two days before the Paopu Festival. Kairi had been with John, Sora, Demyx, Roxas, and Vanitas all week, practicing for the opening gig while I hung out at the music store with Rinoa and Squall. They would be playing <em><strong>I Play Dead<strong>_ and Kairi would be singing and playing lead guitar for a song called _**Haunted**_. It was the song we'd been working on since a few days after Ven died. She'd play it with them, and record it with both bands; Roxas' and John's. Kairi had such a beautiful singing voice, and I wondered why she didn't sing more.

I was kneeling over the bathtub and putting some more black hair-dye in my hair because my crimson roots were showing really bad. I finally went to the store and bought some. "Xion, will you please come to Roxas' with us? He really wants to make up with you."

"No, Kairi," I said. I was still hurt by that incident on the beach. "I'm not ready to make up with him."

"But you two had been such great friends since we were little. You used to be in love. Do you want thirteen years of friendship to just go down the drain like that hair-dye?" We had met Roxas and Axel when we were about four. They'd been great friends ever since.

"Well…no, but,"

"No buts," she said sternly. "You're coming with me today, and you're gonna make nice with Roxas!" Kairi was so stubborn. I loved her for that. "Your friendship is too important to just throw it all away!" And the worst part was, she was making a point.

"Alright, Kai," I relented. I finished with my hair and washed the residue out of the tub. Cid would kill me if he saw black dye staining the tub.

After the color in my hair settled, we got dressed and got in her car. I hadn't been in Roxas' house since the last time all of us hung out. The drive was really short and we were there in no time. I sat there for a minute, my hand on the door handle. I sucked in a deep breath, opened my door, and followed Kairi to their front door. It was a very strange sight. This familiar house, it was alien to me.

Roxas was sitting on the couch reading a Bleach manga. He had been the one that got me into Bleach. "Hey Kairi," he called. "Xion, what are you doing here?" He didn't seem angry like I thought he'd be. He was actually curious, surprised I even showed up.

"Hey Roxas," I said. Kairi nudged me over to him. "Look, Roxas, I'm…"

"I'm sorry Xion," he said. "It was my fault. I never intended for you to see that song. I was stupid for bringing it. I just wanted to show Cloud and Demyx. Cloud wouldn't have said anything and Demyx is probably a little too dense to have figured out that it was about you. I swear they were the only ones that would have seen it."

I just looked at him, my mouth wide open. He was apologizing to me? "Roxas, I forgive you," I said. "I still want to be friends with you. Maybe we'll never be the way we used to, but at least we can still save our friendship. You've been my best friend since we were little, and I don't want that to end." I shot a look back to Kairi and she smiled. That made me smile. I looked back at Roxas and he was looking at his shoes. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. It was so great to have my best friend back. Maybe we'd never get back together, but at least we didn't hate each other. That was something, at least.

"Xion, thanks for forgiving me," he said. "You don't know how this has been killing me!"

We hung out for most of the day. It was so great to be friends with Roxas again. The only thing is that Kairi had a look of concern on her face most of the day. When we finally started to head home, I decided to ask her about it.

"Kairi, is something wrong?" I asked.

"I don't know Xion," she said. Her left hand was on her stomach while her eyebrows were pulled together. "But I think I need to stop at the pharmacy and pick something up."

All the blood drained from my face. I didn't know what was wrong, but it was enough to scare her and terrified me. "Kairi, are you sick, hurt, do you need to go to the hospital?"

"I don't need to go to the hospital," she said with fear in her voice. "I think I'm pregnant. Xion, I'm not ready to be a mother yet!"

"Oh my God, Kairi," I said in disbelief. "How can you be pregnant? We're on birth control!"

"I lost mine a week before I slept with Sora and after Cid raped me last. I just found them the other day. I was scared Cid would rape me and I'd get pregnant with his child. After Sora and I had sex, I was hoping I still had enough of the pills in my system to protect me. That's why I sounded worried on the phone when you called me. He didn't wear a condom because we just got carried away and didn't really think clearly."

I was so worried for Kairi. My sweet, innocent, Christian sister was probably pregnant. Those kids at her church were going to love this. Those monsters would probably rip her to pieces when they found out. And they would find out. Pregnancy wasn't exactly something you could hide for long. "Kairi…I don't know what to say. Are you sure?"

"I missed my period yesterday," she said, moving her hand from her stomach to her forehead. We'd been taking birth control for years so we had it memorized what months we would get our periods. Hers was supposed to be yesterday. I didn't think much of it because we didn't really talk about it. I assumed it just came and went like usual. "I'm so scared, Xi. I don't want to have a baby yet!"

"Just don't panic, Kairi," I said, trying to keep her calm. She pulled over on the side of the road so we could talk. "You might not be pregnant. Let's just buy a few pregnancy tests and then we'll worry about it. Did you say anything to Sora today?"

"No," she said. "He doesn't know anything about it. I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure."

"He'd probably pass out," I joked, trying to relieve the stress a little. It didn't work. "But I know he'd stay with you. He loves you and would want to take care of his baby."

"Are you sure?" she asked. She had tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Sora is a good man and he loves you so much," I said. I placed my left hand around her shoulders and she leaned over to rest her head on my shoulder. She cried into my hair and I comforted my beautiful sister. Mentally, I was preparing myself to be an aunt.

"Wow…I could be carrying Sora's child," she said as she rubbed her stomach tenderly and lovingly. I put my right hand on top of the hand that was on her stomach and smiled. "Xion, what's Cid going to do about this? I know he'll try to hurt the baby while I'm carrying it."

"I won't let him go anywhere near you. If he does anything to hurt that baby, I'll beat the crap out of the geezer," I tried to sound confident.

"How am I going to play at the Paopu Festival? I was supposed to sing our new song."

"I don't know," I said. "But let's go on to the pharmacy and get the tests so we can ease your mind. If you're not pregnant, then it will all be ok. If you are, then we'll deal with that when the time comes. I know one thing, though."

"What's that, Xion?"

"That baby will be amazing if it's anything like you and Sora. And I'll try to be the best aunt ever. And I know that if anyone deserves a child, it's you Kairi. You'll be the best mother ever," I said.

"You really think so?" she asked. "I'm worried that I can't do it. I mean, what if the baby needs something and I don't know what it wants? What if it has a mental disability and I can't take care of it like it deserves? I'm just so scared."

"You'll be a great mom," I said. That sentence made me think about our mom. She was such an amazing woman. I missed her so much. I'd never known anyone like her.

When we arrived at the pharmacy, I led Kairi to the aisle that held the pregnancy tests. We bought the most accurate brand we could find. "Xion…" she trailed off, a tear making its way down her face, then her neck, and finally being absorbed by her shirt. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Sorry for what?" I asked.

"I'm sorry for getting pregnant and I'm sorry if I disappointed you," she admitted.

"I'm not disappointed in you Kairi," I clarified. "So what, you're pregnant. That doesn't make you a bad person, Kairi. I realize you're human and make mistakes." I placed my hand on her stomach again. "And this beautiful baby will be the best niece or nephew I could have ever asked for. You'll be the best mother it could ever hope for."

She looked into my eyes that were identical to hers. I could sense the fear, the pain, and all the uncertainty in them. I had to be strong for her. She was my identical twin. Everything, even the scars Cid inflicted on us, was the same. I looked at her arms, neck, legs, and face. The scars that went down them all had a story. Many dark secrets of the past were evidenced by them.

We paid for the pregnancy tests that held Kairi's future, hoping no one we knew saw what we were doing. If this was nothing but a late period, then nobody had to know that this ever happened. If it turned out Kairi was pregnant, then I knew our little circle of friends would be accepting of her.

The lights were off at our house. Cid had left the day before to go on a drinking binge with some of his old friends—the same ones that he drank with while mom was dying—so we had the house to ourselves for a few days. The two of us walked into the bathroom so we could test Kairi. I got out a few of them and gave them to Kairi so she could test herself. After she was finished, I placed them on the sink so they could analyze the urine sample. We sat with our backs to the wall of the bathtub and I held her in my arms. "Xion, I'm so afraid," she said as she cried into my shirt.

"Don't worry sis. I'm here for you. I'll always be there no matter what happens," I comforted. "I love you so much Kai."

"I love you too Xion," she said through her tears.

"And I promise I'll keep Cid away from you and your baby. He'll not touch you as long as you're carrying that child," I vowed. And I would even if it cost my life. I'd die to protect her and the baby from that worthless pile of junk, that waste of human life that I called my uncle.

"Thank you Xion. Thank you so much!" she said as she gripped a fistful of my shirt.

"It's no problem Kairi," I said. "I love you, and I love your unborn baby."

After waiting a few minutes, we decided to check the test results. "This is the moment of truth Xion," she said as she took in a deep breath.

"Yeah," I said. "Are you ready?"

"No," she replied. "But I want to get this over with as soon as possible. I need to have some closure." She closed her eyes as she picked up two of the little pieces of plastic that held her future. She opened her eyes and let out a gasp.

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><p>Author's Note: Mwahaha, I'm so evil with that cliffhanger. lol. So, what's your theories? Do you think Kairi's pregnant? Stay tuned until the next chapter of "Her Scars" to find out. lol. Next update will be "Hearts of the Olympians" so be on the lookout for that. Also, I'm writing a companion story for "In the Arms of the Angels" that will be from Kairi's PoV. It won't be nearly as long for obvious reasons. It will detail the last few hours of her life before she is killed by the cancer that had been growing undetected inside her for years. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	11. You're All I Need

Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry about the long wait. Here's the next chapter that resolves the cliffhanger. Enjoy, friends...

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><p>Kairi's mouth was open wider than I'd ever seen. She turned completely pale and grabbed her chest with her left hand. "I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed. Her knees started to shake and I quickly jumped up to her before she could collapse. "I can't be pregnant! Oh God, no. I'm not ready for this!"<p>

"Calm down, Kairi," I said. "We'll get through this, sis. Just trust me that you'll be alright." I looked into her eyes. She was scared. Hey, I was scared, but I had to keep a strong front for Kairi.

"But Xion…I'm so scared!" she said, crying harder than ever before. "I don't want to be a mother!" I literally felt her pain and fear. She was my twin, we practically shared a brain. "Maybe you can adopt the baby out and give it to someone who can take care of it."

"I have to talk to Sora first," she said.

"Ok, we'll go tomorrow," I suggested.

"No, I want to tell him now," she said. "I know he's awake, and he'll want to find out soon."

"Kai, are you sure? Don't you want to get some rest?"

"I want to get this over with," she said. "I also need to talk about changing plans for the Paopu Festival. I don't know if I'll be able to play. I might get sick or hurt the baby."

"Ok, we'll leave in a few minutes," I said. Kai and I walked to the living room. I picked up the phone and dialed Sora's number. It was still hard for my brain to comprehend that he was the father of my sister's baby.

The phone rang and Sora answered after two rings. "Hello," he said.

"Hey, it's Xion. Do you mind if Kai and I come over for a few minutes? We have some things we need to talk to you about, and it would be better in person than over the phone."

"Sure, no problem," he said. He sounded concerned, but carefree as Sora was, he didn't let it show that much. Vanitas would have probably interrogated me, being so concerned for my well-being. But though Sora didn't show all of his concern, he still loved Kairi more than anything and I didn't doubt that he'd be willing to raise his baby with her.

"Ok, we'll be there in a second." I hung up and looked at my broken sister. She had her arms wrapped around her stomach. Kairi had been skinny her whole life. It would be strange to see her bearing a child, enlarged belly and all. I was worried that the pregnancy would make her already deep scars even worse. But there was no use worrying about things like that. Kairi was pregnant and there was no way we could change that. Due to her religious beliefs, she would never consider an abortion. Of course, I wouldn't either. Whether the fetus was alive at conception or not wasn't my problem. My problem would be ending a life before it even began. But I didn't judge people who did have them. I just didn't think I could bring myself to do it, and it wasn't an option for Kairi. "Let's go ahead and leave. I'll drive," I said.

We got into Kairi's car and I headed toward Sora's house. Everything was just happening so fast. It seemed like just yesterday that we met Sora as little kids. Now, he was the going to be a father and my own sister was the mother.

I pulled into his driveway and stepped out. Kairi got out of the car right after I did and we walked up to Sora's door. His parents were out of town, so he had the whole house to himself. I could tell he was lonely since Vanitas moved out. I rang the doorbell and he answered right away. "Hey girls," he greeted. "Come on in."

We walked in and I sat on the chair on the left side of the room while Kairi took a seat on the couch. Sora sat next to her and she curled up against him. "Sora…I have something that I have to tell you. Will you promise that you'll still love me no matter what?"

"Of course Kai," he said. "What could be so bad that you would want me to promise that, though?"

"Sora…there's no easy way to say this, but…I'm…pregnant. I'm having your child," she said darkly. Another stray tear fell from her left eye.

If I tried to describe Sora's expression, I wouldn't have been able to do it justice. The only words to say about it: He wasn't too happy, but he wasn't exactly angry. He was...shocked. "Are you…sure?" he asked, dumbfounded. "I mean, did you take a test?"

"I took a test about a half hour ago. I'm definitely, 99% sure I'm pregnant," she admitted. "Do you still love me?"

"Kai, do you even have to ask? Of course I still love you," he said. "And now, I don't know what to say about how I'm feeling. I mean, I'm not exactly thrilled with the fact that I'm going to be a father, but I know that I love you enough to want to stay by your side through this and raise our baby together." He leaned his head down, pulled Kairi's tank top up a little, and kissed her bare stomach gently. He then got back up and looked into Kairi's eyes. "I love you so much, beautiful."

"Oh Sora, I'm so sorry for getting you mixed into this," she said as she buried her face into his shirt. Her tears stained the fabric, but he didn't notice.

"Don't be sorry," he said lovingly as he ran his fingers through her beautiful, red hair. "This is just as much my fault. I knew that it was wrong to you for us to have sex, but I kept insisting we do it anyway. I'm the one who should be sorry Kairi. I should be sorry for doing this to you. But I love you so much, and we'll figure out what to do with our baby soon." That just reinforced what I already knew; Sora was a good man.

We stayed at Sora's for about an hour. We discussed what would be done about the Paopu festival since Kairi was pregnant. She suggested that she'd try to perform, but if she couldn't sing _**Haunted**_, then I would. Kai and I had similar singing voices, but I thought hers was far more beautiful than mine. Maybe I was just too critical of myself. I noticed that I was always critical of myself, even though I wasn't really that bad of a person. I was just the same as anyone else, anyway.

We could tell Sora was getting tired. It was almost midnight and we needed to get home and go to bed as well. Kairi was pregnant, and she needed rest. I drove again and we arrived home quickly. It was great that we only lived a few minutes away from our friends.

"Xion, can I stay in your room tonight?" Kairi asked as we walked through the front door. She wrapped her left arm around her stomach lovingly.

"Of course, Kairi," I said. That next day would be rough. We were going to get the whole band together along with Namine and tell them about Kairi's pregnancy.

I made a spot for Kairi on my bed and we drifted into a much-needed sleep.

I woke up the next morning to find Kairi was already out of bed. The door was cracked and I figured she was already getting dressed. I climbed out of bed and walked toward the bathroom. The door was slightly cracked and I could hear Kairi groaning from pain. I didn't have to see her to know what she was doing.

I walked inside to see my sister hanging over the toilet, her hair pulled back into a ponytail and her face paler than usual. The morning sickness had started and she had it bad. I held my nose as I walked to my poor sister. "Kai, are you ok?" I asked lovingly.

She didn't answer right away. I found out why when she heaved into the toilet. I grabbed a towel, ran it under some warm water in the tub, twisted it until it was just slightly damp, and handed it to her so she could clean her mouth. "I'll be fine. It's just a little morning sickness. I'll be ready to go after I puke a little more," she said. Kairi leaned over the toilet to vomit one last time. She wiped her face again, scooted back to the wall, and leaned against it, sighing in momentary relief. "Ok, I should be alright for now. Let's get going to Roxas' before I get sick again." She left so I could take a quick shower and clean up. She said she'd already taken one. She brushed her teeth three times while I was in the shower and gargled four capfuls of mouthwash to rid herself of puke breath.

Just to be safe, I grabbed the small waste basket from beside Cid's armchair and put a fresh bag in it. I handed it to Kairi and we got into the car. It was a quiet drive to Roxas' house. When we arrived, Namine's, Sora's, Vanitas', and Demyx' vehicles were parked outside. I pulled in behind Vanitas' truck and put the car in park. We stepped out and walked to Roxas' front door. I knocked and he let us in. Everybody was sitting around. Roxas took his seat next to Namine. It was hard seeing her with him, but they did look cute together. Kai and I sat on the couch next to Sora. Sora grabbed Kairi's hand and looked into her eyes. They didn't say anything, but didn't need to.

"So, what did you guys need to talk to us about?" Roxas asked.

Kairi started to speak up. "Sora and I have a confession to make. Ok, you guys remember last week when we all went to the beach?" Everyone nodded. "Ok, well, that night, after Sora and I left, we went to his house and…we had unprotected sex. Now…I'm…I'm…I'm pregnant."

Everyone gasped in shock. Namine's eyes grew wide and Demyx looked like he crapped in his pants. "Oh my God, are you sure Kai?" Namine asked.

"Positive," she said grimly. "I took some tests last night and they all came back positive, and I also had severe morning sickness this morning. I'm sure I'm pregnant. And I don't know if I'll be able to sing at the Paopu Festival tomorrow. I'll try, but if I can't, I want John to play lead guitar on _**Haunted**_ and Xion to sing it. I know she can do it."

John nodded in agreement when Kairi said she wanted him to play it. He was capable of it. Demyx probably could too, but he'd never practiced it. He was a rhythm guitarist by nature and didn't feel comfortable playing leads.

After sitting and talking about our plans for the Festival, people started to leave. Vanitas kissed me goodbye as he left with John, Kirox, and Xorik. Eventually, it was just me, Kairi, Namine, Roxas, and Axel. Sora left after kissing Kairi and telling her to call him when she got home. The two of them had so much to talk about concerning their future child. It was going to be a long, bumpy road for both of them, but I knew they could do it as long as they had each other.

Namine walked over to Kairi and I just as we were about to leave. "Hey, I'm here for you if you need me Kai," she said. "I love you and Xion so much. You're the best cousins I could have ever asked for. And you are the two strongest people I've ever known. I know exactly what my father does to you. That's why I left. He raped and beat me too! Why don't you two just come and live with me, Tifa, and Cloud? I know they wouldn't care to take you two in as well."

The thought of leaving and going with Namine was so appealing, but Kai and I couldn't bear to burden them like that. Cloud and Tifa were good people, even though they got a lot of hate in this small, redneck town for living together unmarried. Honestly, it wasn't even any of their haters' business what they did. "We'll think about it," I said, which was code for "We couldn't possibly do that to you guys." That was what we told Namine, Cloud, and Tifa each time they asked us to move in with them. They were some of the kindest people we'd ever met. Cloud was quiet, but that was just his personality. He didn't talk much, but would speak to you if you initiated the conversation. He treated Tifa the way she deserved to be treated. He was so loving, tender, and respectful to her. He reminded me of how Vanitas was with me.

"The offer still stands," Namine said as she grabbed her keys from the kitchen counter. "Goodbye everyone, I love you all." My blond cousin kissed Roxas one last time before leaving to go home. She always told everyone that she loved them. And that was a good thing. She did it so she'd never have the regrets of not telling someone she loved if they died. And almost everyone that knew her loved her as well.

Kai and I left to go home. I turned the CD player on and put in Linkin Park's _**Meteora**_ album. I hit the skip button until _**Somewhere I Belong**_ started playing. It was such a beautiful song, really. I loved all of Linkin Park's songs, but that one was one of the songs that stood out.

"I love you Xion," Kairi said just out of the blue.

"I love you too sis," I said, not looking away from the road while I drove.

We drove the rest of the way in silence. Cid would be home in a few days, so we tried to enjoy the little bit of freedom we had left. Kairi used the waste basket once along the way, but that was the only time. She felt fine the rest of the trip.

I pulled into the driveway of our personal circle of Hell and parked in the usual spot. We walked to our house and opened the door. Kai and I sat on the couch in the living room and turned the TV on. The only show that was on TV at the time that interested us was an old episode of Stargate Atlantis. Kairi and I would always try to figure out who would win in a fight: Ronan Dex from Atlantis, or Teal'c from Stargate SG-1. I always said Ronan, while she insisted Teal'c would win.

Kairi and I watched our show and commentated on it like we always did for episodes we'd seen before. Every time something interesting happened, we'd discuss it. The episode we watched was the next-to-last episode before the series finale that took place in an alternate universe where Col. Sheppard was a detective. The Montecito Hotel and Casino from Las Vegas, another show we both enjoyed, had made a cameo appearance in that episode and we both found it to be awesome.

After the episode was over, we both decided to go to bed. It would be a busy day, and we needed our rest. "Goodnight Kai," I said as I walked to my room.

"Goodnight Xi," she said as she closed her door and I entered my room. I began to think about things in my solitude. I thought about our futures. Kairi was going to be a mom in nine, short months. Would it interfere with her last year of high school? I prayed that she didn't have to drop out because she was pregnant.

Thinking about her future motherhood made me think about our mother. I remembered her beautiful smile. Vanille Dia Kinneas was her name, and Highwind was her maiden name, though she looked nothing like Cid. She was where Kai and I got our red hair…well, my natural color anyway. She was taken away from us far too soon. If she hadn't died, maybe dad would have never left. I cried myself to sleep with depressing thoughts of my deceased mother.

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><p>Author's Note: How did you guys like it? Kairi is actually pregnant after all. And the name of Kairi and Xion's mother is finally revealed. She's Vanille from Final Fantasy XIII. I did a google search of red-head Final Fantasy characters and Vanille seemed to be the most believable to be their mom. I also liked thowing in that reference to Stargate Atlantis and Las Vegas since they are two of my favorite shows XD. And the hotel really does make an appearance in the next-to-last episode of Atlantis. Once again, I apologize for leaving that cliffhanger so long, but I had the worst writer's block ever. Paopu Festival is next chapter. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	12. The Paopu Festival

Author's Note: Hey, sorry for another late update. I have had very little inspiration for this chapter. I literally typed most of this today, within the past two hours. Hope you enjoy...

Disclaimer: I do not own the song Haunted by Evanescence, nor do I own Kirox and Xorik. Those two characters are the sole property of Dragginninja. He has let me use them for this story. They two personalities of his interpretation of the Unknown from Birth by Sleep, just as John is my interpretation.

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><p>It was the big day, the day of the Paopu Festival, which also meant one more week until the Metallica concert we all were going to go to. I woke up before Kairi and took a shower. We would be heading to Roxas' to get all of our personal sound equipment and practice the two songs a few times. I would prepare myself to sing Kairi's song if she couldn't do it.<p>

I put on an old t-shirt and a pair of cutoff denim shorts to work in and brought a black spaghetti strap tank top and a pair of black shorts for when we played. I knew it would get hot on that stage with the lights and everything.

Kai woke up shortly after I finished getting dressed. She wouldn't do any of the heavy-lifting today due to her pregnancy. We didn't want anything to happen to the baby. I was sad for Kairi at first. I knew being pregnant would be hard, but she told me not to worry. Her baby would be as beautiful and as wonderful as she was. I just knew it. And I couldn't wait to see my beautiful niece or nephew.

Kairi took a shower as well, but started to vomit soon after. I sat on my knees next to her, holding her hair out of her face and cleaning her mouth with a damp towel. She looked into my eyes with the most pitiful expression. Her eyes told me that she wouldn't be able to sing that night. "I'll still try to play _**I Play Dead**_, but I don't think I'll be able to sing _**Haunted**_ tonight Xi," she said just before she threw up again. I felt so sorry for her. Hopefully, she wouldn't feel like this through the entire pregnancy.

"It's ok Kairi," I said as I rubbed her back, trying to soothe her nausea. "I'll sing it for you."

"Thank you so much," she said. "I'm feeling better now. Let's go," she said as she stood up and got dressed.

I drove us to Roxas' house where we would load up all our equipment. We'd practice a few times first, and then practice some more when we actually got there. It was going to be a busy day for us all.

I pulled into the driveway and we immediately went to his backyard toward the shed. Vanitas and Sora were standing outside, mirror images yet opposites of each other, just like me and Kairi. If it weren't for Vanitas' black hair, he'd look exactly like Sora. If it weren't for my black hair, I'd look like Kairi's clone. I didn't think about it when I started dating Vanitas, but he and I looked like the dark versions of Sora and Kairi. I saw Kairi doodling in a notebook once. She'd come up with a funny little portmanteau of their names, SoKai. I thought it was funny and sweet at the same time. She offered to do one for me and Vanitas, but I declined.

"Hey," they both said in unison. Their voices even sounded the same. Both embraced us. Sora kissed Kairi as Vanitas kissed me.

The four of us walked into the shed and got all of our instruments set up to practice. We ran through the two songs a couple of times each. Kairi tried to sing Haunted a few of the times we practiced. I could tell she got tired after every time she finished. The last time, she didn't even finish it before she had to stop. "Kai, you should rest. I don't want anything to happen to you," Sora said with concern.

"We're fine, Sor," she said, speaking both about herself and the baby she was carrying. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and sat down on one of the sound monitors. She looked around the room and noticed the clock. "Hey, we should start loading everything up for the concert. We're the first to go on and it's already 2."

We all started packing up for the show. I helped Vanitas carry a few speakers while Sora, John, Roxas, Kirox, Demyx, and Xorik took care of everything else. Kairi wanted to help, but I wouldn't let her do any heavy-lifting. I didn't want to risk her losing the baby, and carrying heavy equipment couldn't be good for you while carrying a fetus.

After all the gear was loaded onto Vanitas' truck, we took separate vehicles to the park where the concert was being held. I rode with Vanitas, John, Demyx, Kirox, and Xorik in Vanitas' truck while Kairi, Sora, Roxas, and Axel were taking Sora's car. I sat in the front seat with Van, holding his hand the whole way. I loved him so much, but I sensed something different about him. "Hey, are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" he answered, a little too quickly if I might add. That told me that something really was wrong.

"I don't know," I replied. "You just don't seem like yourself today."

"I'm 100% myself," he said with an irritated tone in his voice. "Just don't worry about it." He sounded like he was about to snap at me for asking.

"Ok, sorry," I said.

"No, I'm sorry Xi. It's just…I've been thinking a lot about Ven, especially since we're singing the last song he ever wrote before he died," Vanitas said.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I love you."

"I love you too Xion, and can you do one thing for me?" he asked.

"What?" I asked.

"Cherish every day you have with Kairi. You never know when something is going to happen and you'd lose her. And trust me, one day, one of you will have to lose the other somehow," he said darkly. "Something will be waiting to take one of you away, and the other will be left behind."

Vanitas pulled my hand closer to him and kissed it. "But enough of that depressing crap," he said. "Are you guys excited about playing tonight?"

"Oh yeah," Kirox and Xorik said simultaneously. The twins, though vastly different in appearance, were so alike that it was uncanny. Being a twin was the most amazing thing ever. I was glad Kairi and I were twins.

What Vanitas said about losing Kairi really upset me, but I didn't let it show on the outside. After years of pain, I was very good at hiding it. The only people I couldn't fool were Kairi, Roxas, and sometimes Vanitas, but he seemed to be buying my happy front for the moment. I just smiled. And, though my mind was full of dark thoughts, I was happy to be with the people I loved the most. And I was excited about playing in front of a group of people. Namine, Cloud, and Tifa would be right there in the front row, cheering us all on as we played our best for the crowd.

We arrived at the park and started getting set up for the show. Thankfully, this time, we had people to help us get set up. A couple of the roadies from another local band—one that was on their way to being a successful band—helped us get everything into the appropriate place.

After numerous sound checks, it was time to start the show. Kairi got sick just before we went on, so it looked like she'd be out for the whole concert. "I'm sorry you have to miss out on this Kai," I said as I rubbed her back while she threw up into a bucket.

"It's ok, it's not like this is the only concert we'll ever play," she said confidently. "Do your best, sis."

"I'll try," I said as I walked out onstage with my band mates/best friends. After a brief introduction by the group who organized the Paopu Festival, we started playing. While we sang _**I Play Dead**_, I looked over to Vanitas. It looked like he was holding in his tears the entire time. I concentrated on my bass-playing while trying to move around a little and not stay in the same place the whole time. I felt bad that Sora and Kirox were immobile, being the drummer and keyboardist respectively. They didn't seem to mind, though. Sora was having the time of his life wildly banging on his drum kit.

Xorik did background vocals during the chorus with Vanitas and Roxas. John and Demyx played their guitars like it was the last time they ever would and I tried to play the rhythm and melody perfectly. I'd say I did a good job. My nervousness was much help, but I did my best in spite of it.

When the song was over, it was time for the debut of _**Haunted**_. Vanitas, Xorik, and Roxas stepped back as I took a microphone. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. I was absolutely terrified. But then I looked back at my friends and looked to the audience. I met Namine's gaze and knew I could do this. The song started and I started to sing the song that Kai and I wrote from our hearts.

_**Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
>Still can't find what keeps me here<br>When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
>I know you're still there<strong>_

**_Watching me, wanting me_**  
><strong><em>I can feel you pull me down<em>**  
><strong><em>Fearing you, loving you<em>**  
><strong><em>I won't let you pull me down<em>**

**_Hunting you, I can smell you - alive_**  
><strong><em>Your heart pounding in my head<em>**

**_Watching me, wanting me_**  
><strong><em>I can feel you pull me down<em>**  
><strong><em>Saving me, raping me, watching me<em>**

John unleashed the solo that Kairi had taught him. He played it similar to her, but there was just something about when Kai played it that he couldn't match. It was probably just their different styles, but it still sounded amazing when he played it. He knew exactly how to use the wah pedal and make it sound amazing.__

**_Watching me, wanting me_**  
><strong><em>I can feel you pull me down<em>**  
><strong><em>Fearing you... loving you<em>**  
><strong><em>I won't let you pull me down<em>**

After I sang the last note, the crowd erupted into a thunderous applause. The energy I felt while playing was so overwhelming, that when the crowd reacted the way they did, it was almost too much to handle. We unloaded our gear and walked off-stage as the next band set up their equipment.

"Oh my God you guys were so amazing!" Namine squealed as she ran toward us. She had full clearance to be backstage since she was family. "I loved it!"

"Yeah, you did great," Axel said as he messed up Roxas' hair. Roxas didn't take too kindly to that, and he tried to do the same to Axel's, but Axel was too tall.

"Thank you," I said, flattered by the compliments. Kairi staggered over toward us, still nauseous from throwing up, but looking better than before.

"That was awesome," Kairi said as she walked toward me. I hugged her tightly, but not too tight. "I'm so proud of all of you."

"I just wish you could have played with us Kai," Demyx said. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"I can in about nine months," she joked. "But until then, you have to go on without me."

I noticed that Vanitas wasn't anywhere around us. I turned my head and looked all over for him. I saw him standing behind the stage, talking to a strange guy and shaking his hand. I walked over to him and the man ran away, leaving Vanitas alone. "Hey, who was that?" I asked.

"That was nobody," he said. "He's just an old friend from Twilight Town that just happened to show up." There was something suspicious about how Vanitas was trying to brush off my question. I didn't pry any further, though. I didn't want a confrontation with Van. "Love you, Xion," he said as he kissed me.

"I love you too," I said as I caught my breath before he claimed my lips again. I lost my hands in his spikey black hair and he grabbed handfuls of my hair. It hurt a little while he pulled, but the pleasure of his lips to mine cancelled out the minor pain. He bit my bottom lip and I parted my lips as his tongue entered my mouth. I didn't know what got into Vanitas, but I liked it. He usually wasn't like this in public, and I usually didn't go for this in public, but neither of us really cared who saw us.

He pulled away from me and led us back to our group. "Hey, you guys ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah, I gotta get in bed for work tomorrow," Xorik said. "I hate working on Sundays, but my co-worker is sick."

"I've got church in the morning," Kairi said. I wondered if she was going to ask anyone to go with her. She didn't though. Whenever she did, the most common answer was "no." They respected her beliefs, but religion wasn't exactly very important to any of them. Sora was the one who cared the most out of all of us, being an agnostic. He believed in a higher power, but not much else. Vanitas was pure atheist. And Ven's death hardened him even more toward religion. He didn't say anything to Kairi, not wanting to hurt her or cause any trouble, but he wanted nothing to do with it. I understood both of their viewpoints. She didn't press the issue of religion any more than simply laying the options out on the table. I wouldn't classify her as a "Bible Thumper" at all. She realized that it wasn't her job to force it down anyone's throat.

We piled into the vehicles with the same seating arrangements we came with. We said our goodbyes to Namine, Cloud, and Tifa. It was such an awesome day, and I was sad that it had to end.

We got back to Roxas' house around 8 PM. We sat around the house after bringing all the equipment back to his shed. I was curled up in the recliner with Vanitas and he held me tightly. Sora and Kairi mirrored our position in another chair while everyone else was on the couch. Roxas and Xorik looked back and forth between Kairi and me. I could tell that Xorik missed Olette and Roxas wished Namine could be there. I felt so bad for Xorik. I mean, I understood that the long-distance relationship couldn't have worked out, but I couldn't wrap my brain around how this Olette girl could start dating another guy before she even broke up with Xorik. It didn't make much sense to me. It was like she never loved him at all.

The crowd eventually thinned out until it was just me, Kairi, Sora, Roxas, and Axel. The five of us had been so inseparable since we were children. I was glad the tension between me and Roxas had disappeared. It was amazing to have my best friend back. I doubted we'd ever get back together, but at least we were still friends.

Kai and I decided to go home. She needed to rest. I'd be taking her to church that next morning, but wouldn't be staying. I knew if I ever went back, I'd end up in a fight with the youth group kids. Their ring-leader seemed to be the one with the blue hair and X-shaped scar on his forehead. I think Kairi said his name was Isa. He was the one I started to go after last week.

Kairi wanted to stay in my room that night. I made a place for her in my bed and she slept beside me like a rock. I looked over to my beautiful sister. I imagined what beautiful baby was growing inside her. I pictured a baby girl and what she'd grow up to look like. I imagined she would have Kairi's facial features, but shaggy, brunette hair and a mix of Kai and Sora's eye color. She would be so beautiful.

I rolled over and drifted to sleep, thinking about how one day, I'd love to be the mother of Vanitas' children. That day would have to wait a while, though. I didn't want to be in high school or college with a baby. I closed my eyes to that day, and I would open them to a brand new one.

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><p>Author's Note: So, what do you think? I tried to stretch this chapter out to normal length this time. The past few have been shorter than I usually like to do. And anyone who has read my story Light and Dark will know who Xion was describing at the end of the chapter while she was thinking of Kairi's baby. She was describing my OC, Yami, who is the daughter of Sora and Kairi in my in-universe "Hearts" series. Your next update will either be Light and Dark or Creeping Death. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you read in the future. Until next time...<p> 


	13. Hypocrite

Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry for the late update DX. I've been blocked again. I wish this horrible writer's block would leave me! Beware, for there is a little lime toward the end of this chapter. It's not too bad, though. Nothing any of you haven't seen before, right? lol.

I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the OC Kirox. Kirox belongs to my friend Draggininninja.

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><p>I awoke that morning to Kairi getting ready for church. I would drop her off and then go hang out at Lionheart Music with Rinoa and Demyx. "Goodmorning Xi," Kairi said as I shuffled to the bathroom to take my shower. She was just walking out of the bathroom. As I entered, I smelled the apple-cinnamon air freshener thick in the air. She must have thrown up some more.<p>

"Hey Xion," she said cheerfully as she walked out. "Are you sure you don't want to go with me to church today?"

"Yeah, I don't think I can handle the people there, you know?"

"If you say so," she said. "I won't force you."

Once I was alone, I stripped and stepped into the shower. The advantage of short hair was that I didn't have to spend a lot of time washing it, so I was out very quickly. I dried off and put on my clothes. I wore a black t-shirt and dark jeans. I had no idea why I owned black clothes. It was always too hot on the islands for black, but I liked the way it looked on me against my pale skin.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked Kairi as I walked into the living room.

"Yeah," she said. "Pick me up at 12, as always."

We walked out to the car and I drove Kairi to church. After dropping her off at church, I headed toward the mall, where I would kill the next few hours with my friends. Rinoa set up some equipment so Demyx and I could jam in the back room. She was so nice to let us play the instruments without any intention of buying anything. I guess it helped that she was a family friend.

I entered the music store to see that Demyx had already arrived. "Hey Demy!" I called, using the little nickname I made for him.

"Xi-Xi!" he called out to me as he ran over to give me a big hug. He almost crushed my ribs in the embrace. He was a lot stronger than he looked. Big hugs, plus skinny girl, equaled very sore ribs. I ignored the minor pain as I walked to the back room with my friend.

"Are you as tired as I am from last night's show?" I asked. It completely hit me at once that I was sore from the night before at the Paopu Festival. It just seemed so unreal that we actually played in front of all those people. I was so happy I had the opportunity to do that at least once. But at the same time, I felt so guilty because Kairi didn't get to share the moment with us.

"I'm so tired, but it was so worth it!" Demyx squealed happily. "Then, when I got home, Larxene-the-she-devil beat the crap out of me and accused me of stealing her set of yellow kunai."

"Sorry about that," I said. "I can't believe she would falsely accuse you like that!" I honestly despised the woman. I wished the most horrible fate on her that could possibly be.

"Actually, she was right on the money with this one. I did take them and hide them so she wouldn't slit my throat," he laughed. "I got what I deserved."

"Still, she didn't have to beat you up," I said as I sat down and put the shoulder strap of the bass—a cherry red ESP Viper—around my neck.

"I guess," he said. Demyx' self-esteem had taken so many painful blows through his life. "What do you want to play?" He grabbed a blue Fender Stratocaster and plugged it into the Line 6 Spider IV amp behind him.

"I didn't really think about it much," I said. "Know any KoRn?"

"I can play Twisted Transistor, Another Brick in the Wall, and Dead Bodies Everywhere. Which do you know?" he asked.

"Out of those, I can play Dead Bodies Everywhere," I replied as I detuned the bass so we could play it. Demyx tuned to the same tuning I did. It wasn't a very complicated song, but it had a very awesome bassline in the verse and guitar riff in the chorus.

After playing with Demyx for a few hours, I looked at the clock on the wall and decided to go ahead and leave to pick up Kairi. "Hey, I've gotta go get Kairi from church," I said. "Bye Demyx."

"Bye Xi," he said as I hugged him goodbye.

I walked to the car and started driving toward the white building. I pulled into the parking lot around 10 minutes before church was over, so I decided to wait for her in the car. There was no way I was going in that place with those people. It seemed Kairi and the pastor was the only good people there. I felt guilty, though, for leaving her in there alone. I felt the need to be there for her, but those hypocrites made me so sick! So much for them showing the love of God if they couldn't even accept one of their own because she was less judgmental and slightly more open-minded about people.

Kairi was the first to come out. Actually, she was running out with her face in her hands. She was crying, and I had to find out what happened. I jumped out of her car and ran toward my broken twin. I embraced her and pulled her hands away from her eyes. "Kairi, what's wrong?" I asked.

"No...Nothing," she said through her tears.

"Kairi, this doesn't sound like nothing," I said.

"Your sister is just upset because I called her out for the whore she is," a voice called from behind us. I turned my head to see a boy with blue hair and sea-green eyes. He looked around our age, and I recognized him as one of the people pointing and laughing the week before.

"Who are you and what are you talking about?" I asked, infuriated that he dared to call my sweet, caring sister the same thing Cid would call her.

"I'm Isa," he said. "And I know she's one because I saw you two buying birth control and pregnancy tests on a number of occasions. My father works at the pharmacy where you two get your prescriptions."

That's when my blood started to boil. How did this blue-haired freak have any right to judge us? "First of all," I said as I stepped away from Kairi and she went to the car, "you have no idea why she takes birth control! It's not because we 'sleep around.' It's because, if you really must know, we get very, very bad periods and it takes the edge off of them and makes them less frequent! And as for the pregnancy tests, who's to say those were hers? We could have been getting them for a friend."

"But I…"

"Just shut up you judgmental little moron! She's the only family I have and if you mess with her, you mess with me!" I said as I backed Isa against a car, my face in his and my eyes full of rage. I'd never been so vicious with someone since Larxene, and this time I was able to control my mouth. "Do I make myself clear?"

The fear in Isa's eyes showed me that he was all talk and nothing else. "Crystal clear, miss…" he said, cowering to me like a spineless jellyfish.

"Xion," I said, giving him my name so he'd never forget. "Xion Kinneas, and don't forget it!" I stepped away from the cowering fake and walked back to Kairi's car to drive her home. "Kairi, I'm sorry for that outburst, but you know how I get when people attack you."

She sat there, staring at the dashboard with her beautiful violet eyes that were copies of mine. "It's ok," she said weakly. "Thank you for defending me Xi," she said.

"Nobody messes with my sister and gets away with it," I said.

She started to chuckle, then it turned into a full laugh.

"What's so funny?" I asked, puzzled and raising one black eyebrow as I backed out of the parking lot so we could head home.

"It's just…it looked like Isa was going to pee all over himself for a second," she said through her heavy laughter. "It was so funny!"

"Yeah, I guess he learned his lesson," I said, joining her in her laughter.

"I love you," she said as she leaned over the console and rest her head on my shoulder. I switched to driving with my left hand and put my right around her shoulder as we drove home to enjoy the last few hours without Cid. He would be home that next day, so we didn't have much time.

"I love you too Kai," I said lovingly.

A short time later, we pulled into our driveway. Kairi and I got out of the car and walked into our house. If it weren't for Cid, I would love this dump, but that was just one of the many things in my life that had been ruined by that horrible man.

I walked to my room and parted ways with Kairi for the moment. I was going to see if Vanitas wanted to do something later that day. Kairi already had a date planned with Sora. It amazed me how much those two loved each other. I picked up my cellphone and dialed Vanitas' number. "Hello," he said on the other end. Something sounded so different about him.

"Hey Vani, it's me," I said.

"Hey Xion, what's up?"

"Nothing much," I said. "Do you wanna do something later, just the two of us?"

"Yeah, that's fine with me," he said to my delight. "What time should I be over there?"

"I'm already dressed, so any time is good for me. Kairi will be gone with Sora for the rest of the day," I said.

"Ok, I'm on my way. Love you baby," he said.

"Love you too Vani," I said as we hung up. There was just something about his voice that didn't sound right. I mean, he sounded like the same Vanitas I loved, but there was just something off about him. He sounded…tired or something. I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, if anything.

I walked out of my room and to the kitchen, where Kairi was making herself a turkey sandwich with lettuce and what appeared to be peanut butter. "Kai, is that…peanut butter on your sandwich?" I asked, perplexed by the combination.

She shoved half of the sandwich in her mouth before taking a sip of milk to wash it down. "Yeah," she simply stated.

"That's…odd," I said as I watched her devour the rest of the sandwich in two bites.

She burped and blushed. "Excuse me," she said. "And, yeah, it's odd, but I just had the strangest craving for it. I couldn't resist! And it's delicious. I think I'll make another one. Do you want one Xion?"

I looked at the pack of turkey, the lettuce, and the jar of peanut butter she'd left on the counter. "Um, I think I'll take a pass Kai," I said. "When is Sora coming to pick you up?"

"He'll be here in about ten minutes," she said as she put together another sandwich, which would probably be gone before our conversation was over.

"That's good, because Vanitas is on his way here and I didn't want to leave you alone," I said.

"Aww, you worry about me too much Xion," she said as she walked over to me and hugged me. "I love you."

I hugged her back and enjoyed my sister's loving embrace. "I love you too Kai." Suddenly, I heard a car horn from outside. "That's probably Vani," I said as I let go of Kairi. I looked out the window and saw that it was Vanitas and Sora pulled in right behind him. "Actually, that's both of our rides. Come on Kai."

"Ok," she said as she grabbed the remains of her sandwich and walked out the door with me. "Bye Xion," she said as she climbed into the car with Sora.

"Bye," I said as I got into Vanitas' truck. "Hey Vani," I said as I leaned to kiss him.

"Hey," he said while lightly planting a kiss on my lips. "What did you want to do?"

"I didn't think about that too much, to be honest," I said. I pursed my lips and narrowed me eyes as I thought about what he and I could do.

"Nobody is at my place, if you want to go there. We could hang out there," he said.

My eyes lit up because I knew exactly what would happen if the two of us were alone for any extended period of time at his house. "I'd love that," I said in a way that implied what was on my mind. He held out his right hand and I laced my fingers around his. "And I love you."

"I love you too Xi," he said. He smiled as we drove back to his house. I didn't care that Cid would be home that next day because I was with the person I loved the most, besides Kairi anyway, but that's a different kind of love.

We pulled into the driveway of his shared house. As he said, Kirox, Xorik, and John weren't home. We walked into his house and I immediately led him to his bedroom, peeling his shirt and mine off as we went. I hadn't had sex with him in almost a week—not being able to be alone with him—and I was ready and willing. I practically tackled him onto his bed, running my hands down the flat plane of his chest. He reached around me and unhooked my bra clasp. The undergarment fell onto his chest and a grin spread across both of our faces. I'll admit, the first time we'd slept together, I was shy about him seeing me naked, but then I realized that he loved me no matter what I looked like. And he could see past the deep scars that covered my body, so I decided I could as well.

I closed the distance between our bodies and pressed mine against his. I kissed my love passionately before raising up again. I watched as his eyes traveled up and down my body. He unbuttoned my pants and I stood up to peel them down as he removed his as well.

We were almost ready to start having the most passionate sex ever when suddenly the door flew open. "Oh my God!" Kirox screamed. His hands flew up to his eyes as I covered my breasts with my left arm and pulled the blankets around my nudity. Vanitas quickly dove under the covers that I hadn't already taken. "I'm so sorry guys! I had no idea you'd be in here. I left my iPod in here today and just wanted it back.

Vanitas reached to the nightstand where Kirox' iPod was lying. He tossed it to his blond roommate and Kirox quickly fled out the door. I heard the roar of Kirox' Challenger coming to life and knew it was safe to uncover myself. I collapsed on the bed at Vanitas right side. "Well, that was awkward," I said as I let out a sigh.

"You're telling me," he said as he reached his left arm across my chest. "Now, where were we? That is, if you are still in the mood," he asked.

"You know me," I said. "I'm always in the mood." I kissed him and we resumed where we had left off. It was the most beautiful thing ever. I loved him so much. I wished so badly that every day could be like that, minus being seen naked by Kirox of course.

The day came and went like a dream. Vanitas took me back home around 8 PM. Kairi was already home, having another one of her bizarre sandwiches. I actually found it hilarious. She couldn't resist her pregnancy cravings. "Hey Kairi," I said. "How was your date with Sora?"

"It was amazing. We went to the movies and saw this really sad movie," she said. "I cried, of course, and he even shed a few tears. Then, we got something to eat at the Mexican restaurant. How was your day?"

"I had a great time with Vanitas," I said. "Though, one embarrassing thing did happen." I blushed and looked down at the tile floor.

She chuckled. "What happened?" she asked. "You can say anything to me."

"Ok," I said. I took a deep breath. "Kirox walked in on me and Vanitas when we were having sex."

Her eyes opened wide and she covered her mouth with a large gasp. "Oh my God, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard!" She started laughing uncontrollably and grabbed the table for support. "I mean, I'm sorry your moment was ruined, but that's too hilarious!"

"It is kind of funny," I said, trying to control my laughter. I had enjoyed the last day of peace we would have. I knew tomorrow would be so painful, though. Cid would be home and he'd be starved for his "fun" with us. I prayed that his friends didn't have any daughters for him to abuse. Regardless, I went to sleep peacefully that night.

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><p>Author's Note: Hey guys, I hope this was worth the wait. The confrontation with Isa was actually supposed to have occurred in chapter 9 when Xion first goes to church with Kairi, but I decided against it and used it here. And I hope I did well with the sex scene. It was the first I'd ever written. Thank you for reading and drop a review if you liked it. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	14. Forze del Male

Author's Note: Hey guys, here's the new chapter of Her Scars. I know I said in Winter's Icy Soul that I wouldn't be updating until my art trades and requests were filled, but I didn't want to make you guys feel neglected. I know I may not have a large following, but I do have a loyal one, and ignoring you guys would be wrong. I'm sorry for taking so long, and will try to get new chapters soon. Enjoy, friends...

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><p>I woke up that next morning to the sound of heavy breathing over me. "No," I thought as I realized what was standing over me. I slowly opened my eyes just in time to see Cid storm out of my room. Then, all the pain hit me at once. I looked down to see cuts that had stopped bleeding were covering my somehow naked body. Cid's scent, something I'd come to know too well, was thick in the air and radiating from everywhere in my body. I was sore in all my muscles and even felt a little pain in some of them. I began to cry, softly at first, but then the sobs grew uncontrollable.<p>

Kairi walked into my room and saw what had happened to me. "Xion, what's wrong? Did he hurt you too?" she asked. Then I noticed fresh cuts on her skin. She must have just woken up after hearing my cries because all she was wearing was a pair of shorts. I could plainly see the cuts on her arms, chest, and stomach, the blood stains contrasting to her pale flesh.

"Kairi, he…he…raped me while I slept!" I said in despair.

"Shh, it's going to be ok Xion," she comforted, holding her stomach in her right hand and putting her left arm around me as I sat up. "He did the same thing to me." She was holding back her own tears for not only my sake, but also so she wouldn't become too stressed. Stress could hurt her baby, and she always took the greatest measures to keep it safe.

"Did he hurt your baby?" I asked.

Her face darkened and she bit her bottom lip. "I don't know," she said. "I certainly hope he didn't. I don't know what I would do if I lost this baby, especially to…him!"

"I promise, I'll protect you Kai," I said with false confidence.

"You can't promise that Xi," she said. "We can't be together 24/7. But anyway, what do you want to do today?"

"Get as far away from Cid as possible," I said as I stood up and stretched my aching body. I found my panties, but they had been soiled by Cid. I'd burn them later.

"Well, I kind of already made a date with Sora, so I was wondering if you had plans. I was going to cancel if you didn't because I don't want to leave you alone with Cid."

"I'll just hang out with Vanitas today," I said.

"Ok, Sora is coming to pick me up so you take the car," she said.

"Thanks Kai," I said. "I just hope things weren't awkward with Kirox yesterday." I chuckled at the thought of what had happened the day before.

"Knowing Vani, he probably locked himself in his room," she said. "Those boys seem to do that a lot when something crazy happens. Like, remember when Xorik found out about Olette?"

"Yeah, really," I said.

Kairi took her shower, and then I took mine. I scrubbed around my wounds, trying hard not to get soap in them. I failed badly and ended up getting soap into one cut on the underside of my left breast. It burned, but not very badly. I hadn't been hurt as much as I'd previously though. Still, that didn't make me feel any better about what had happened. I was thankful I was in the shower because I lost all composure. I dropped to my knees as the water ran down my body and masked my tears. I'd been through so many things, but to be raped while I was asleep severely disturbed me.

I stayed like that until I felt the water become colder. I had sat there and let all the hot water run out. I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, grabbing my towel and drying off as I went. Once I was completely dry, I put on my clothes, a purple t-shirt and jeans. I picked up my phone and dialed Vanitas' number. It rang a couple of times and his voicemail answered. After listening to his cheesy recording, I left a message for him saying that I was on my way over.

"I'm going ahead to Vanitas' place," I told Kairi. "He's not answering his phone and I want to make sure he's alright."

"Ok, I talked to Sora and he said he just saw Xorik, John, Roxas, and Kirox at the mall, but Vanitas wasn't with them. They said he just wanted to stay home today."

"That's strange, even for Vanitas," I said. I knew my boyfriend was a little eccentric, but this was so unlike him. I started to worry about him and felt the most awful sense of dread I'd ever felt in my life. "I'll go on and see what's wrong with him."

"Ok Xion, call if you need anything," she said. I hugged my sister and walked out the door. Sora pulled up and Kairi ran outside behind me. I waved at him and he flashed that cheesy grin he always had.

I drove toward Vanitas' shared home with fear in my heart. I wondered why he wasn't answering his phone. Did something happen to him? I tried to tell myself that he had let it die, but couldn't convince myself.

As soon as I pulled into the driveway, I noticed something strange. The curtains were drawn, something they never did. I parked the car, took the keys out of the ignition, and walked to the door. It took every ounce of strength I had to knock on the door. I knocked three times, but no answer. I looked to the driveway and Vanitas' truck was still there, so he must have been home. "Vanitas open the door," I called out. "It's me, Xion. I'm worried about you and just wanted to check up on you. Please let me in."

No answer was returned as I stood there. A tear ran from my cheek. Either something was horribly wrong, or Vanitas was just, plain ignoring me. Both thoughts broke my heart. I couldn't just leave without knowing. I took a wild guess and found the spare key under the floor mat. I turned the key in the keyhole and opened the door.

The room was dark except for a little light coming from down the hall. I guessed that's where Vanitas must have been. I walked through the house toward my boyfriend's room. Dread crept into my heart as I made my way to the room. My hands were trembling as I slowly reached for the doorknob. It was slightly cracked, so I didn't have to twist it. "Vanitas, I just wanted to…Oh my God!"

I gasped loudly and my heart nearly stopped as I saw what Vanitas was doing. Needles were strewn across the floor and he was injecting himself with one as I watched. He took notice of me, his eyes glazed over and his mouth wide open. "Xion, what are you doing here?" he slurred through his stupor.

"What are you doing?" I yelled. "You're using drugs?"

"What's it to you, Xion?" he said with contempt.

"Because this is so stupid, Vanitas," I said. "I thought you were stronger than to have to turn to this!"

"You have no idea what I've been through. Since Ven's death, I've been so depressed! This is my only escape," he said. He stood up and staggered over to me, giving me flashbacks about how Cid would stagger to me. "Now, come here angel."

"No, I'm leaving," I said. "And get some help or I'm calling the police! Goodbye, Vanitas." I tried to turn and walk away, but he threw his arm around my neck. "Vanitas, let…let go of…me!" I choked. He was cutting off my air supply and I was starting to feel light-headed. "Stop…you…you'll…kill me…can't…b…breathe!" I was so afraid at that moment. I struggled to get free, clawing at his hands and trying to grab his face. I thought I was going to die. I honestly believed Vanitas was about to kill me. _'God, if you're there, please get me out of this! I'm not ready to die yet!'_ I thought. I didn't really know what good it would do, but I was desperate. Vanitas kept one arm around my neck, and let the other trail down my body. I started panicking. I just knew he was going to kill and rape me at the same time! I nearly resigned to my fate, but then, something unexpected happened.

Vanitas released me, but only to grab his own head. "Xion, what's…what's wrong with…me?" he said as he fell to his knees. "C…call an ambulance!" Vanitas collapsed on the ground and lost consciousness.

That was when I started to panic even more. "Oh God, Vani," I yelled as I shook him, trying to wake him up or at least make sure he was still alive. His breathing slowed down dramatically and I felt his pulse, which was virtually nonexistent. "Please, wake up!" His lips were already blue and his breathing slowed down even more to the point I thought he'd stopped altogether. I fished around my pocket for my cellphone and dialed 911.

"911, what's your emergency?" the operator answered.

I tried to compose myself, but failed horribly. "Please, you have to send an ambulance! My boyfriend, he just overdosed on…I think it was heroin! Please, get here fast! Don't let him die!"

"Calm down, miss," she said. "Tell me, where are you?"

"I'm at his home. It's 358 Enix Drive. Please, come as fast as you can!" I pleaded, knowing that Vanitas didn't have much time left. I hung up and stayed by Vanitas' side.

The ambulance and a police car arrived within five minutes. Though, it was five minutes too long for me. They loaded Vanitas into an ambulance and I asked to ride in the back with him. The driver said it was alright so I climbed into the back and took a seat. I held Vani's hand the whole way. It was already so cold and limp. I cried so hard. Really, that was all I had the heart to do. I tried to keep optimistic, but I couldn't convince myself that the bright side even existed. I could only think of how I should have noticed what was going on. I knew he'd been acting strange lately, but I had no idea he was using drugs. I felt like I should have, though. I thought that if only I would have paid attention to the signs, then maybe this could have been avoided.

We arrived at the hospital and I was forced to leave Vanitas, and by forced, I mean they had to pry my hand from his. I sat in the waiting room, crying so hard, and called Kairi.

"Hello," she answered.

"Kai, it's me. Come to the hospital and bring Sora and the others with you," I said.

"Why, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Just get over here as fast as you can. There may not be much time left," I said as I hung up on her and resumed my heavy sobbing.

A short time later, Kairi came through the doors with Sora holding her hand. "Xion, what happened? Who are you here with?"

"It's Vanitas," I said. "Kairi, he overdosed and he might die!"

"Overdosed…on what? I had no idea he did any drugs? How did this happen?" she asked.

Sora just blankly stared at the ground. I felt so bad for the guy because he might lose Vanitas as well. He took it so hard when Ven died and Vanitas was all he had left. Sora didn't have any brothers, so he was always extra-close to Vanitas and Ventus. Now, that might all end because of Vani's stupid mistake.

"He was using needles, so my best guess is heroin. Kairi, I don't know what I'll do if he dies!" I said. "And where is everyone else?"

"Kirox, Xorik, and John are on their way, Roxas and Namine will be here too, and Demyx said he'd come after he could escape Larxene. He said something about her trying to kill him…again," Kairi said. She put her arm around me. "Don't worry, I'm here. Sora's here too, and the others are coming. You're not alone in this!"

"Thanks Kai," I said. But it didn't really help much. They could be there with me, but that was all they could do. None of them had the power to reverse the damage that had been done, so I was still in despair.

Shortly after, a receptionist came to where we were sitting. I believe she was the same that told us Ven was dead. "Are you the friends and family of Vanitas Almasy?" she asked.

Sora spoke up. "Yeah, I'm his cousin. This is my girlfriend and her sister, who is Vanitas' girlfriend. Is he…" Sora said, not finishing his sentence.

The woman breathed a sigh as she opened her mouth to speak.

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><p>Author's Note: How is it that the filler chapters can be longer than the ones that move the plot along? lol I wanted to stretch this out as long as I could, but also wanted to end on a cliffhanger. lol *evil laugh* The result, a short chapter that moves the current story arc along nicely. I wanna hear your theories and ideas of what is going to happen XD. Until next time, friends...<p>

P.S. I actually researched this to find out what a heroin overdose looks like. I imagine it would be a disturbing sight to see.


	15. Enter The Void

Author's Note: Hey guys, new chapter. Medium length this time. Enjoy.

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><p>"I'm so sorry," she said, shattering my heart. "They just lost him a few minutes ago. I'm sorry, miss, but he's dead."<p>

"No," was all that escaped my mouth as reality clawed my heart to pieces.

"I'm afraid so," she said.

"No, he can't be dead!" I screamed, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. "I was with him yesterday and he was fine! How could things have gotten so out of hand so quickly?" Out of rage, I slammed my hand on the little table next to the chair and slung the magazines off of it.

"Miss, you need to calm down," she said.

"Yeah Xion, you'll get us kicked out of here!" Kairi said, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to look her in the eyes. My gaze remained fixed on my sister and my rage melted away into a deep sorrow.

"They're taking him to the morgue now so he can await an autopsy," the receptionist said.

I looked away from Kairi and saw them wheeling a gurney out of a room. "Is that him?" I asked.

The woman looked back to the small bed. "Yes, that's him…wait, where are you going?" she asked as I darted past her.

I pushed one of the people aside and forced it to stop. "Please, just let me see him one more time!" I begged.

"I don't think I can let you do that," the man in the green scrubs said.

"Please, just for a minute," I pleaded desperately.

The man in blue scrubs gave a look to his co-worker and he finally relented. I pulled the sheet back from Vanitas to reveal his cold, dead face. His lips were purple and slightly swollen. His skin, devoid of any warmth, had turned a sickly gray. He looked so horrible, like he'd suffered in his last moments. His face held an expression of agony and sorrow, which would remain fixed for eternity. As the tears ran down my cheeks and onto his cheeks, I leaned forward and kissed his lips one more time. I tried to savor the moment because that would be the last time I would ever kiss him. No, the last time I kissed him was the day before while we had sex for the last time. I wasn't kissing Vanitas, just an empty shell. Vanitas was dead, gone. He had been my light after Roxas left me, but now I was stumbling in Darkness again. I ran my fingers through his hair. The spikes were gone and I could actually see how long his hair really was, reaching to his shoulders. I'd miss that coarse, black mane. I'd miss…Vanitas.

"Goodbye, Vanitas," I whispered through heavy sobbing. "I'll miss you so much. I love you."

I could have sworn I heard his voice say "goodbye" to me, but it was just my imagination. The man in blue scrubs pulled the sheet back over Vanitas' head and they resumed their trip to the morgue. I stood there, heart not breaking, but already shattered into a million pieces, and watched them disappear around the corner. As soon as they were out of my sight, my legs gave way and I came crashing down to the cold, hard tile floor. I suppressed my urge to scream from the agony my heart felt. Why…why did this have to happen? Why didn't I see the signs that he was using?

"Xion, I'm here for you," Kairi said.

"Kai, don't ever leave me!" I said. "Don't leave me like Vanitas did, ok?"

"I'm here, Xi-Xi, and I'll not leave you. I promise," she said. I knew she couldn't promise that, but it was comforting to hear those words come from her mouth. I needed something to hang on to. I hadn't wanted to kill myself so much since I started to jump into the volcano. I just wanted a bullet through my brain or a short noose around my neck!

I cried rivers. "I…I want to die!" I said.

"Xion, don't speak like that," Kairi said. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I know exactly what I'm talking about," I snapped back. "I Want To Die! I don't care if someone kills me or if I kill myself. I don't even care if I go to Hell for it! I just want life to be over!"

"Xion…" Kairi whispered as a tear escaped her eye. I half-expected her to get up and walk away. Lord knows I was hateful enough to her that she'd want to leave. But she did the exact opposite. She cradled me in her arms even tighter. I heard her whisper something. It wasn't directed toward me, and I couldn't understand what she was saying because it was so low, but I somehow recognized it as a prayer. But was it for me, Vanitas, or just for the strength to help me through my crisis? I never found out exactly what she said, but it somehow made me feel more peaceful. Still, it didn't change the fact that I wanted my heart to stop beating.

Kirox, Xorik, John, Roxas, and Namine arrived shortly after with Demyx, who was covered in cuts and bruises, behind them. "What happened here?" Xorik said as they came over to where Kai and I were. "Sora told us to come here."

"It's Vanitas," Kairi said. "He died a few minutes ago." I thought she was going to cry, but she remained strong, probably for my sake more than anything.

Xorik's expression was indescribable. It was a mix of sorrow, rage, pain, and surprise. "How…how did this happen?" he asked. His long, black ponytail fell over his shoulder as he hung his head down and clenched his fists together. He ground his teeth together and squeezed his eyes shut. I mustered the strength to stand and I wrapped my arms around the poor man.

"He…he overdosed on heroin…right in front of me!" I said. It took saying those words for me to truly feel how disturbing it was. "It was so awful, and I felt so helpless. I was surprised the 911 operator could understand me."

Xorik was about to say something, but a doctor came by and asked me to follow him. "Are you Mr. Almasy's girlfriend?" he asked as soon as we were alone.

"Yes, why," I asked. I thought it strange that he'd ask me something like that, but I was anxious as to what he would say.

"Over the course of your relationship, did you two engage in unprotected sex?" he asked, which I thought was a little personal, but he apparently needed the information.

"I wouldn't exactly call it 'unprotected,'" I said. "He never wore a condom, but I'm on birth control pills to help with my period."

"Did he ever tell you that he was infected with HIV?" the doctor asked.

My heart nearly stopped. I covered my mouth with my right hand to keep myself from screaming. "What…what did you just say?" I asked in shock. How come Vanitas never told me he was infected? And why did he still have sex with me when he was infected?

"Vanitas had contracted HIV not very long ago," the doctor said. "I couldn't say anything before, but now that he is dead, I feel the need to inform you that you'll probably want to be tested."

"Do I have HIV?" I asked. "Am I going to die?"

"You may not have it," he said. "And if you do, you won't die for a long time. We have special treatments that can slow its progress. You'll be able to live many years with the disease, if you even have it. You may very well die of old age."

"Can you test me?" I asked.

"I could do a rapid test right now, but I wouldn't recommend that. It would be a lot better if you came back to me in three months for an antibody test. Vanitas had taken the rapid test," he said. "And don't worry; nobody has to know about this. By law, I'm required to keep all my patients a secret unless they are putting someone else at risk. That is why I told you about Mr. Almasy, and I also had his written permission to tell you if I needed to. I felt you deserved to know, and now I see that he was putting you at risk for AIDS."

I couldn't believe Vanitas could risk my life like that. He may have given me one of the worst incurable diseases on the planet! I thought he loved me! Then I thought about it. There was no question that Vanitas loved me. I knew enough hate in my life to know the difference between it and love. And Vanitas treated me like a queen, no, like a goddess. He worshipped the ground I walked on for some reason. Maybe his mind was just so far gone from the drugs that he didn't think to tell me, or maybe he was embarrassed. Though, I would have been there for him to deal with the disease if he'd have told me.

"I'll take the test in three months. I want to be 100% sure about this since it's my life we're talking about," I said.

"Ok," the doctor said. "You should go and be with your friends now. They need you, and you need them." The doctor turned and walked away, leaving me alone. I went back to where my friends sat and Kairi wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm here for you, Xi-Xi," she said. "I love you so much, sis."

"Kairi…I love you too," I cried. Xorik came over to our side.

"Xion, I kind of know how you must be feeling. Vanitas was my best friend," he said. "I'll be here to help you through this any way I can."

"Thank you, Xorik," I said. I let go of Kairi for a moment and hugged Xorik tightly. He embraced me in his strong, warm grip as we both cried for one of the most important people in our lives.

Kairi and I had to leave the hospital eventually. We left shortly after Fuu and Seifer found out. Strangely, Seifer wasn't as angry as he'd been when Ven died. This time…he almost reacted like you'd expect any father would. He tried to hide his tremendous pain, but it was no use. What good did it do to try and hide pain anyway? I'd hidden my pain caused by Cid for five years and I felt just as miserable as the first day, when I was only twelve years old, that he beat me half to death.

We entered the house and Cid was sitting on his favorite chair. "You girls home?" he said. Cid seemed to be in one of his rare good moods, something that Kai and I always treasured. When he acted this way, he never felt like hurting us. I saw that there were no liquor bottles in the room, so he hadn't gotten drunk.

"Yeah, we're home," Kairi said, sadness in her voice and her head hanging low.

"What's wrong, Kairi?" he asked with genuine concern. It was almost as if he was bi-polar. In these moods, he seemed to actually give a crap about us and our feelings.

"Vanitas died, Cid," I said in Kairi's place. "He died right in front of me! I watched him overdose on heroin!" I started to cry. Cid started to get up to hug me, but I pushed him away. "No, don't you dare touch me! You may be nice for tonight, but don't you dare think that I trust you for one, single minute! You've hurt me too much to ever gain my forgiveness!"

I stormed off to my room and Kairi was at my heels. She closed and locked the door behind her. I flung myself onto my bed and cried into my pillow, not only for Vanitas, but also for the fact that I might have had an incurable, deadly disease that would slowly kill me. "Shh, I'm here Xi-Xi," she said.

"Thanks Kairi," I said. "But even you can't help with what's bothering me."

"I know what it feels like to lose a loved one," she said. "I've been through the same things you have."

"That's not it," I said. "When the doctor wanted to talk to me…it was to say that I might have AIDS." Of course, Kairi was the only one I felt comfortable telling at the moment. "Vanitas was HIV positive, probably from a dirty needle. Kairi, I don't want to die from this disease!"

Her mouth opened wide and she covered it with her right hand. "Oh my God, did he say that you had it for sure?"

"No, he wants me to come back for a test in three months. Vanitas didn't tell me he was positive. He didn't even really have to tell me! He could have just used a condom and made up an excuse! I just can't believe he'd risk my life like that," I said.

"Well, maybe he was just so messed up on drugs. I mean, he had to have been on them since Ven died," she said. "You and Vanitas never used a condom?"

"Nope, not even once," I said. "Since I'm on birth control, I didn't think it was really necessary. Kairi, I loved him so much, but how could he do this to me?" My tears just wouldn't seem to cease falling. If I'd have known that Vanitas was going to die, I would have told him that I loved him more. I would have cherished every second I had. It just didn't seem fair. I only had Vanitas for nineteen days, not even three weeks.

It seemed like this past month had been the most eventful of my entire life, really. So much had happened, both good and bad. I had played my first concert, had my first two boyfriends, though both ended badly, had my first consensual sexual encounter, made so many new friends, and even seen my beautiful sister create a human life. But Vanitas death...made the rest of that not even seem worth it. I could feel the deep depression resurfacing inside me. I slowly lost my will to live.

"Look, I just want to go to sleep," I said. "Goodnight Kairi. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Xion," she said as she hugged me and left the room. I lay down on my bed and reflected on my life so far. It had been just one crisis after another, like a really bad nightmare that I couldn't escape from. Now, the only thing I had to live for was my sister. I loved her dearly, and that was all I could hold on to. And even there, my grip was starting to slip away. I was falling into a deep, dark abyss of depression and bitterness. If I didn't find a way to climb out of this soon, it would surely destroy me, if not kill me.

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><p>Author's Note: So, I'm sure most of you guessed Vanitas would die. Poor Xion, just one bad thing after another, it seems. Will she ever find peace and true, never-ending love? We'll find out as we progress through the series...or you could read My Black Dahlia and In the Arms of the Angels and skip ahead five years to see how Xion and Kairi are doing.<p>

Also, I actually had Cid be nice for once. Still, Xion doesn't trust him even when he does have periods of sanity. Maybe his entire being isn't monster, but a good 99.99% of it is.

Until next time, next update is Creeping Death, which will be soon. I promise lol.


	16. No More Pain, Take Control

Author's Note: Hey, here's the new chapter. I meant to post this last night, but a rainstorm knocked out the internet DX. It just came back on a few minutes ago, actually lol. Short chapter, but not filler by a long shot.

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><p>I woke up that next morning feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I just couldn't carry this anymore! I tried so hard in my life to make the best of the bad situation I was in, but I just couldn't see a way out this time. I wondered, what was the good in even trying to fight? I couldn't find an answer, no matter how hard I searched for one. Life just didn't feel worth living anymore.<p>

Kairi walked into my room without knocking, but I didn't mind. I was just glad to see the one person on earth who loved me. "Goodmorning, Xion," she said as she hugged me tightly.

"Kairi, goodmorning," I said. I had no inflection in my voice at all, just a blank monotone.

"I'm here for you, sis. I love you so much," she said.

"Thank you, Kai. I love you too," I replied. I loved her more than anything. Kairi, the one constant in my life, was my best friend. "Oh Kairi, what am I going to do?" I cried into her shoulder, losing all control of myself.

"Just…I honestly…I don't know," she said. "Life goes on, Xion. Just remember all the good times you had with Vanitas, and you'll feel better. And Sora called earlier. He said Vanitas' funeral will be in a few days."

"Ok," I said. I dreaded the service. It would be so hard to see him like that, cold and dead in a casket.

"Sora also asked if I wanted to go somewhere with him, but I said no. I want to be here with you," she said. But I could tell that wasn't entirely the truth. She did want to be with Sora, even though she also wanted to stay with me.

"Kairi, you can go see Sora," I said. "You don't have to sacrifice your happiness because of me."

"No, I want to be with you," she said with love in her voice. "I can see Sora any time. Actually, we've even talked about marriage. If things go right, we'd like to be married in about four months."

"Kairi, that's wonderful," I said with the last bit of genuine joy in my heart.

"I know," she said. "I wanted to say something to you because I'd need to use some of mom's life insurance that we still have to pay for the wedding. It will just be a small ceremony, but I'm so excited for it." Her expression grew slightly darker. "Wait…I'm sorry. Here I am talking about getting married, and you just lost your boyfriend. I'm so insensitive!"

"No you're not, Kai," I said. "This actually makes me feel better, knowing that you're finally happy." It did hurt a little, but it truly did make me feel better to hear Kairi had some good news. "Are you going to move in with him after the wedding, or are you two going to look for a new place?"

"I'm just moving into his house. He's telling his parents about the wedding right now. And, of course, I want you to move in with us. I can't just leave you here by yourself."

"Are you sure that you two wouldn't care for me being there? I mean, you're a couple that is just trying to get your life together started, and I don't want to get in the way," I said.

Kairi put her arm around my shoulder. "You're not getting in the way, Xion," she said. "I can't leave you alone here, and besides, it won't even be for four months."

"And in four months, I'll know whether or not I'm going to die young," I said. "Kairi, please pray for me…I don't want to have this disease."

"I already do, Xi-Xi," she said with love. "I have prayed for you every night for the past three years I've been a Christian. I love you, Xion."

"I love you too, Kairi," I said. "Go on and have a good time with Sora. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure, Xion?" she asked, her eyebrows coming together and putting a cute wrinkle in her forehead.

"Positive, Kai," I said. I honestly didn't want her to go, but I wanted her to have fun. After all she'd been through; she deserved to be with her future husband as much as she possibly could. "I promise I'll be fine when you get home. Trust me."

"Ok," she said. She hugged me and kissed my forehead gently. "I love you, sis. I'll be home later. Are you sure you'll be ok with Cid here?"

"I'll be alright. If he gets in one of his moods, then I'll leave and find you or something," I said. "But honestly, I think I need to be alone and grieve for Vanitas."

"Ok, love you Xi," she said, a small tear forming in the corner of her right eye. She blinked it away before it could fall.

"I love you too, Kai," I said, trying not to choke up on my sadness. Kairi left my room and shortly after, I heard her car start outside and slowly disappear in the distance. Now, I was completely, totally alone with no companions besides a serial rapist who I wished would drop dead and burn in Hell. And as if to speak of the devil, Cid barged into my room suddenly. "What are you doing here?" I screamed.

"I'm gonna have some fun with you and your slutty sister!" he bellowed.

"You're a little late. Kairi left a few minutes ago," I said bitterly, speaking with my worst enemy who I wished every foul disease and pain upon.

"Well, looks like I'll only have half the fun," he said with an evil grin. He inched closer to me and I backed up against my wall. He reached me and put his arms on either side of me, blocking me in. His breath reeked with the smell of Jack Daniels whiskey and Milwaukee Best beer.

"Please, just leave me alone! My boyfriend just died!" I cried. I cried harder than I ever had in my entire life. "I can't handle more pain!"

"Aww, is the poor, little whore sad?" he mocked.

Tears ran down my face like twin waterfalls. "I'm not a whore," I whispered, half angry and half sad.

"Oh you're not? You've been sleeping with two men at the same time! You were with that Almasy kid while I've been with you," he said, having the nerve to compare what he did to me with what I had with Vanitas.

"There's a difference. I loved him, and I hate you!" I said, trying to put venom in my words, but failing miserably.

"I hate you too, Xi-whore!" he said as he pulled his fist back and punched me right in the face. Everything went black as his fist made contact with my skull.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, I was lying naked on Cid's bed. He'd already undressed me and I had a few fresh cuts on my stomach. Cid entered the room with a butcher knife and a 9mm pistol was on his belt. "Now, if you try to run this time, I'll kill you, Xion," he said cruelly.<p>

"Why don't you just kill me now?" I asked rhetorically. Suddenly, he pounced on my and started to drag the knife across my body, further scarring my breasts and stomach. My breasts were small as it was, and they were almost completely scar tissue now. I kept in shape, my body could be pretty, but Cid had long since ruined it before it even developed. He stole my virginity before I had hit puberty!

He bit my neck and a little blood started to ooze from the wound as he threatened to thrust the knife into my vagina. I knew that if he did that, it would kill me, and he didn't want to risk destroying his precious toy. He tossed the knife and began to rape me violently. I could only sit back and endure as the torment continued until the sun started to set.

Cid was eventually finished with me, and I couldn't take anymore! He had left his belt with the pistol on the floor, probably having forgotten about it in his drunken rage. He went out to his truck on a beer run, and I was all alone. Thoughts ran through my mind, thoughts of suicide and ending my pain. The smooth handgun seemed to be my only friend in the world, and I heeded its calling. I locked and barricaded every door in the house so Kairi or Cid couldn't come in and try to stop me. After finishing, I picked up the pistol, went to my room, and sat on my bed. I studied the weapon carefully, considering what I was about to do. I cocked the pistol and placed the barrel at the temple of my forehead and closed my eyes as I tightened my grip on the trigger. Then, I heard loud knocking on my window. "Xion, are you ok in there? Xion…Xion…" Kairi called out.

"I'm in here, Kairi," I said. She looked through the window and saw me. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore!"

"What are you talking…wait…is that a gun in your hand?" she exclaimed in shock. "Xion, what are you doing?"

"I'm finally putting an end to my pain, Kairi," I said. "I'm sorry to leave you like this, but I just don't have the strength to go on! I've tried so hard, but none of that matters at all. Cid…he showed me that my pain will never end until I take action!"

"This isn't the way to do it, Xion! Please, don't kill yourself! I'll die if you commit suicide!" she cried. "I know this may be selfish, but I need you! Please, don't leave me alone! You promised you'd always be there, and you're breaking that promise! And…I know you don't believe, but you'll go to Hell if you die!"

"Then I'll get to see Vanitas again," I said bitterly.

"No, you won't," she said. "You have no idea! It's so much worse than you can imagine!"

"I already live in Hell, Kairi," I said. My hand started to shake as I cried every tear I possessed. "It can't be much worse than this!"

"Xion…I love you," she said. "I guess I can't say anything more to stop you, but I tried my hardest. I'm sorry that I failed you."

That broke my heart more than anything else. I pulled the gun away from my forehead and looked at it again. A small voice was telling me not to kill myself while another argued that I should die. The internal struggle was ripping me apart, and it seemed too much for me to handle. Each voice started to drown out the other and get louder with each second. I thought my mind was going to melt from the division. I finally tossed the weapon to the ground, the will to live for my sister winning over my selfish desire to be finished with it all. I ran to the door and unlocked it. Kairi jumped in and I fell into her arms. "Kairi…I love you too," I said as I cried into her beautiful hair.

"I'm here, Xi-Xi. Let's find you some clothes and get you cleaned up," she said. I finally realized I was still naked and bleeding.

Kairi helped me clean my wounds and I put on a fresh tank top and shorts. "Kairi, thank you," I said. "You saved my life, and I don't know how to make it up to you."

"It's all right. That's what sisters are for," she said, smiling at me.

"Did you have a good time with Sora?" I asked.

"Yeah, we hung out at his house and talked about plans for the baby. We even picked out names," she said.

"Really," I asked. "What are the names?"

"We want to name it Yami if it's a girl and Hikari if it's a boy," she said. "I know those are usually the other way around, but I want my baby to be special."

"Your baby will be the most amazing child ever, just like its mom and dad," I said as I held onto Kairi for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>I've been waiting to write this scene for a long time. I had the dialogue between Kairi and Xion during the suicide attempt written a long time ago, but had to wait for Vanitas to die and for Xion to be driven over the edge. In my original draft, actually, this and Vanitas' death were supposed to happen four months later, but the story was slowing down and I needed to move the plot forward. Hope you enjoyed it. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	17. A Hymn for the Missing

Author's Note: Another chapter. Not much happens other than Vanitas' funeral. Also, going to have Xion's hair grow out longer for a while, just for a change. I think she'd be pretty with hair around KH2 Kairi's length. Enjoy...

I do not own Kingdom Hearts, and as stated a few chapters back, I do not own Hymn for the Missing by RED.

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><p>A couple of days passed and my suicide attempt was put into the past. Kairi still seemed concerned for me, but I honestly felt somewhat better. I didn't feel good, but I wasn't as miserable as I'd been that day. My heart was still broken into many pieces.<p>

I started to get dressed for the funeral. Kai and I wore the same black dresses that we wore to Ven's funeral the month before. I looked at myself in the mirror after I'd put the dress on. My hair was still a mess, you could plainly see the remnants of Cid's last attack up and down my arms, and there were dark circles under my eyes from my lack of sleep the past few days. I went back into the bathroom to apply a little makeup to the unsightly circles. I covered them up as best I could, but I was inexperienced with makeup. What was the point of it if I was going to cry it off later, anyway? Still, I wanted to look presentable out of respect for Vanitas' memory. I closed my eyes and gripped the sink for support. Tears fell, and I was careful to tilt my head so they didn't run down my cheek and ruin the makeup. "Xion, I'm here," I heard Kairi say as I felt her arms wrap around my waist.

I turned around in her arms and returned the hug, burying my face in her neck. I pulled away and looked at her. She had her hair pulled up and it looked so pretty. I let my hair hang flat. It wasn't long enough to put up. But I noticed it was getting longer. I just said "screw it" with the short hair and decided to grow it out some. I probably wouldn't grow it as long as Kairi's, but it would at least reach my shoulders. I wanted to keep my black hair, though. I'd had it for so long, I just wouldn't be Xion anymore without it. I would be a clone of Kairi, living in her older twin's shadow.

"Kairi, I don't know if I can see him like this!" I said. "It was hard enough seeing him dead at the hospital, but this makes it so much more final."

She put her hands on my shoulders lovingly. "Xion, you don't have to go up to the coffin if you don't want to," she said.

"I don't want to, but I will anyway," I said. "I still want to see him one, last time before he's gone forever!"

"Ok," she said.

"And Kairi, I have to ask you something," I said.

"Sure, what is it?" she asked.

"When I was going to kill myself, did you really give up on me?" I asked. "You said that there was nothing you could do anymore."

"I never gave up on you," she said. "I only said that because I knew it would make you see reason, Xi-Xi. I'd never give up on you."

"How did you know I wouldn't blow my brains out right there?" I asked.

"Because I know you too well," she said. "For some, strange reason, you look up to me like I'm something special. If you had killed yourself, it would have destroyed me." A tear escaped her shadowy-blue eyes. "You are half of who I am, Xion. You're my best friend, my companion, and the person who I love the most! You're the best sister anyone could have asked for and I thank God every day for you. You mean more to me than anything on this planet and wouldn't trade you for the world! I love you!" She held me tightly as I did the same.

"I thought Sora was the person you loved the most," I asked, not bitterly, but surprised. She was so crazy about him, and they even had the bond of having a child together. I figured she loved him more than anything.

"I love Sora, but the kind of love I have with him is different," she said. "He could leave me if he wanted to, and I'd be sad, don't get me wrong, but I'd survive. He's like one of my lungs. It would hurt to lose him, but I could live without him, albeit incomplete. You…Xion, you're like the very air I breathe! I'd die if I didn't have you!"

"I love you so much too, Kairi," I said. "I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you. You're my whole life, the rock I stand on, and I love you so much!"

"We're going to be late for the funeral," Kairi said. "Come on, let's go say goodbye to Vanitas." I nodded my head and we finished getting ready. I looked in the mirror. True, I looked pretty, but I didn't feel pretty. Vanitas' death made me feel the worst I'd ever felt in my life. But I didn't have time for a pity party. Kai and I left the house to go to the funeral.

We arrived at the chapel that also held Ven's funeral. I saw Seifer and Fuu and immediately went to console them. "Mr. and Mrs. Almasy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I think you remember me from Ven's funeral, I'm Xion. I was Vanitas' girlfriend," I said.

"I remember you," Seifer said. "And…thank you. I pray you'll never know what it feels like to lose a child," he said as Kairi came toward us.

"Thanks," Fuu said.

"I'm sorry for what happened too," Kairi said. I saw a faint tear leave her eyes, but nobody else caught it. "Vanitas was a great person, and I was so blessed to have known him for the short time I did. I hope my baby will be as good a person as he was."

"Pregnant," Fuu asked simply, raising her eyebrow a little to signal that it was a question.

"Yes," she said. "The child is Sora's, and he and I are getting married soon. We…were going to wait until after marriage, but you know how these things can happen."

"Yeah, I guess they can," Seifer said. "It was great meeting you girls again, and thank you for your kind words."

"You're welcome," Kai and I said together. Fuu and Seifer walked away, Fuu crying into Seifer's jacket while he held her in his arms.

"I can't even begin to imagine what those two are going through," Kairi said as she held her stomach.

"I know," I said. "If I'm in this much pain from this, then I don't even want to know what they're feeling! They lost both sons in less than a month. That has to be hard."

"Yeah," she said. We took our seats next to Roxas, Axel, Sora, Namine, Demyx, John, Xorik, and Kirox. I sat next to Xorik and Kairi sat beside Sora. Xorik noticed my pain and put his arm around me to make me feel better. Normally, I probably wouldn't have wanted him to, but we were both broken. I needed someone to hold me and Xorik was there, so I had no complaints. Roxas had his arm around Namine. She hadn't known Vanitas as well as the rest of us, only meeting him a few times. But it was great that she came anyway.

The service itself brought me to tears. I cried the whole time. Once again, their aunt Yuna sang. She had a beautiful voice, but it seemed to have an even darker tone this time than the last. It was probably because of the sheer fact both of her nephews died within a month of each other. She sang Vanitas' _Hymn for the Missing_ that I'd heard him sing for Ventus the day we first had sex. Thinking of that wonderful morning made me happier and sadder at the same time. I felt great knowing the good times I'd spent with him, but also depressed that I'd never feel his touch, taste his lips, or hear his heartbeat again. His hands would never touch anyone, his lips were cold and lifeless, and his heart ceased beating for all eternity. And what was the point of all of it? Didn't he foresee that his drug use would catch up to him? Vanitas wasn't stupid. He should have known that heroin wasn't the way to deal with his pain, but there we were, at the funeral of a nineteen-year-old who died of an overdose.

After the eulogy, we all stood in line to look at Vanitas one more time. When it came to my turn, all the breath left my body. My knees started to shake, and I had to grab the casket for support. I bit my lip to hold back the tears, but even that didn't work. I bit hard until I bled, but that didn nothing to stop myself from crying. "Vanitas…I'll always miss you." I caressed his cold cheek. "I love you, and I wish I'd had more time to be with you. And…I wish you would have told me…about it," I said, referring to his HIV. I didn't say anything out loud because it wasn't anyone's business just yet. I would tell my friends if I had it, but there was no reason for them to know just yet.

Sora, Seifer, Cloud, and another man with black, spikey hair who slightly resembled John carried the coffin out to the hearse. "Xorik, who is the guy with the black hair carrying the coffin," I asked.

"That's my dad, Zack Fair," he answered. "He's Cloud's cousin, so Cloud knew us, Vanitas, and Ven already. Mom is over there, with the long brown hair and the green eyes," he said, pointing to my left. I looked over to see who he was pointing to. Their mom was beautiful, but her eyeliner had run halfway down her cheeks from crying so hard. Apparently, the whole family had been close to Vanitas and Ven.

"You and Vanitas were pretty close, weren't you?" I asked.

"He was my best friend," Xorik answered. "Ever since we were little, the two of us made a habit of driving our brothers crazy. I remember one time, when we were sixteen and it was the hottest day of the year. It was me, him, Ven, John, Olette, and Kirox; we were sitting around the house trying to cool off. Ven used to drink tomato soup straight from a glass. Van got the bright idea to replace it with habanero hot sauce while Ven wasn't looking. He took one, big sip of it, and acted like he'd drank lava. It didn't help that it was nearly 79 degrees outside. He started screaming and chasing Van around the house with their dad's 9-iron." Xorik tried to subdue his laughter from the memory, but it wasn't working too well. Even I started laughing. It was a good thing nearly everyone had already cleared out of the room. Only he, Kairi, Namine, and I remained. I knew that we'd all need each other to survive the death of yet another friend. In a couple of days, we were still going to the Metallica concert. We'd go in Vanitas' memory.

Kai and I got into her car and followed the line of other cars to the burial site. The slow drive gave us time to absorb everything. I wondered…would things ever get better for me? I didn't see, but Kairi having hope for both of us was enough for me. I let her Light guide me through the Darkness of my life. I didn't know how long I'd have to recover, but Kairi gave me some hope that I would survive this crisis.

We arrived at the cemetery where Vanitas' plot had been dug next to Ven. I saw Vanitas' dates on the tombstone, only one month and a few days longer life than Ven had. It still wasn't long enough, and it didn't seem fair that he'd be struck down in the prime of his life, but I had to remind myself that he was only in this because of his drug use. If only he'd seen another way than to turn to drugs, but I tried not to judge him. I didn't know what condition I'd ever be in if I lost Kairi prematurely, and I didn't want to find out too soon. I wasn't ready for my Light to be snuffed out just yet.

They lowered Vanitas in the ground and covered his body with dirt. When the last shovelful was thrown, it all was made final. My boyfriend, who I loved more than my own life, was gone forever.

We said our goodbyes to the family and other friends of Vanitas. I didn't get to meet Zack or his wife—who's name I found out to be Aerith—though. I would probably get another chance to meet them later. All of us followed Sora to his home and spent the rest of the day together.

"Sora, Xion, you know that we'll be here for you," John said. "This was hard on all of us, but you two were the closest to…him, and I can imagine what you're going through."

"You don't have to worry, you can say his name," I said. I hugged John tightly, earning a blush from the sudden contact, but he soon returned the hug. "It will help to remember all the good times we had with him. I wish he could go with us to the Metallica concert, though."

"Yeah," Sora said. "The concert just won't be the same without him. Nothing will be the same without him."

We spent the rest of the day with Sora and our friends. But eventually, Kairi and I left. It was getting late, and I knew Sora had to go to bed soon for work. Kairi kissed him goodnight, and we headed out to the car.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: So, there you go. Another filler chapter. Don't worry, it next few will be better. Next chapter is the Metallica concert.<p>

P.S. This story is about to pass up Shattered Hearts for my story with the most chapters XD. Two more, and it will break the record. And there will be many more to come. Until next time, friends...


	18. Because You're Unforgiven Too

Author's Note: I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, apologize for such a late update. I was blocked so badly for this and couldn't write more than a sentence or two most days. I finished the bulk of it over the past few days. This chapter is dedicated to Dragginninja for his birthday, which was yesterday. He asked me for a new Her Scars chapter so I buckled down and finished this in a reasonable amount of time lol. I plan to introduce Serah, Lightning, maybe even Fang and Snow later in the story.

This chapter is the Metallica concert that has been referenced since the beginning of the story. It feels great to finally get around to doing it almost a year later lol. On that note, I can't believe March will be a whole year that I've been writing lol. I need to do something special for my anniversary lol.

I do not own My Immortal by Evanescence or The Unforgiven II by Metallica. I also do not own Kingdom Hearts, Xorik, or Kirox.

* * *

><p>It was finally Friday, the day before the Metallica concert. It was a long drive to Radiant Garden, and we were all going to leave a day early so we'd make it late that night and have the whole day Saturday to do things before the concert. Despite what we'd all gone through with the loss off Vanitas, we were genuinely excited for the concert. Cid didn't know we were leaving, but he could honestly care less what happened to us. He never said anything when we'd disappear for days on end to stay with Roxas and Axel, so we didn't think we had to tell him we'd be gone for three days to a concert. We had two hotel rooms, joined together with a door, reserved at the Holiday Inn near the Radiant Arena. One room would be for me, Kairi, Namine, and Tifa. The other would be shared by John, Xorik, Sora, Cloud, Roxas, Kirox, Axel, and Demyx. I was happy Tifa and Cloud were coming. Tifa managed to get her friend, Claire, to work at the bar for a few days. Claire Farron was a retired veteran in the military, and Kairi and I grew up with her sister Serah. Serah was away for the summer to Cocoon to visit family that Claire…didn't exactly get along with. Both sisters were beautiful girls with the strangest pink hair I'd ever seen. It was a shade of strawberry blonde that was so similar to pink, you couldn't tell the difference.<p>

Kairi and I packed our clothes. We'd already withdrawn some gas money, hotel money, and spending money for the trip the night before, so we just had to pack and go to Sora's to meet everyone else. "Ready to leave, Xion?" Kairi asked. She slammed the suitcase lid down and I quickly zipped it before it could spring back open.

"Yeah, are we meeting the guys at Sora's house?" I asked.

"Yeah, he called a few minutes ago and said everyone was already there. They were just waiting for us. It's going to take some doing to get all of this into Vanitas' truck. It was so nice of Fuu and Seifer to let Xorik have it," she said.

"I know, I didn't think Seifer could be that generous. He seemed a little distant all the times I've seen him," I said.

"I guess since Xorik was his best friend, they thought he'd like to have it," she said. "Come on, let's go."

We got into Kairi's car with our stuff and drove to Sora's where everyone else's cars were parked. She pulled in behind Namine's car and we threw our bag into the back of the truck. It hurt a little to see that familiar truck, knowing Vanitas wasn't here anymore. I tried to put it out of my mind, though. I needed to heal, and dwelling on the past wouldn't help at all.

Kairi knocked on the door and Sora greeted her with a kiss and pat on the stomach. "Hey Kai, hey Xion," he said.

"Hey Sora," we both said. We walked inside to see all our friends, save Vanitas, sitting around. Namine was curled up to Roxas. Tifa and Cloud were sitting on the couch beside them, and Demyx was in the chair. He was watching one of Roxas' Bleach DVDs with the English subtitles turned on.

"Are you guys ready to leave?" Axel asked.

"I am," Sora said. Everyone else agreed and we started to pack everything into Vanitas'…Xorik's truck. It was going to be hard calling it that, knowing Vanitas previously owned it.

The seating arrangement was set up to be as comfortable as possible. Kairi, Demyx, Namine, and I would be in Kairi's car, Sora, Roxas, Axel, and Kirox would take Sora's car, Cloud and Tifa would take Namine's car, and John and Xorik would be in Xorik's truck with the luggage. Xorik had closed the bed cover on the truck—something Vanitas had added shortly before his death—so everything would be secure. After we were all in our cars, we pulled out. Xorik took the lead, while Kairi filed in behind him, Sora behind us, and Cloud behind them. We each programmed the GPS in our vehicles to take us to the hotel.

As Kairi drove, I held a little piece of paper in my hands, a song I'd written for Vanitas a few days before. I poured my grief into the lyrics. Even though we'd only been together for a short time, it hurt to lose him as much as if we'd been married fifty years. "Xion, what's that?" Demyx asked when he noticed the paper.

"It's nothing," I said.

Before I could react, he leaned up and snatched the paper from my hands. "Let's see what this thing says," he said as he unfolded it. His expression quickly changed from a grin to a more sober look as he read the lyrics.

I'm so tired of being here  
>Suppressed by all my childish fears<br>And if you have to leave  
>I wish that you would just leave<br>Your presence still lingers here  
>And it won't leave me alone<p>

These wounds won't seem to heal  
>This pain is just too real<br>There's just too much that time cannot erase

_[Chorus:]_  
>When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears<br>When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
>And I held your hand through all of these years<br>But you still have  
>All of me<p>

You used to captivate me  
>By your resonating light<br>Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
>Your face it haunts<br>My once pleasant dreams  
>Your voice it chased away<br>All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal  
>This pain is just too real<br>There's just too much that time cannot erase

_[Chorus]_

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
>But though you're still with me<br>I've been alone all along

_[Chorus]_

I snatched the paper away from him when he finished. "Xion, I had no idea you wrote something like that," Kairi said.

"It was a couple of days ago, right after Vanitas died," I said and gave her a glance that implied about it being after my suicide attempt. None of our friends knew I tried to kill myself. I didn't want to tell them. They worried about me enough as it was after Vanitas' death. They'd probably send me to a psych ward if they found out I had been suicidal.

After driving for hours and stopping multiple times at rest stops and restaurants, we finally arrived at our hotel. With all of us there, it didn't take long to unload the truck and take everything to our rooms. Sora and I checked us in while everyone else took the bags. Our room was on the third floor at the end of the east hallway. Sora and I headed to the room and parted ways at the doors. As soon as I entered, I collapsed face-first on the bed between Tifa and Kairi, glad to be out of that car and on a comfortable bed. "I didn't think we'd ever get here," I said. I buried my face in the blanket and let out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, my butt is sore from driving that whole time," Kairi said wearily. I looked up and she held her stomach around where the baby was growing. It was so cute how she cradled her stomach protectively. She hadn't started to show yet, but she said she had gained a few pounds since she got pregnant. I couldn't tell, but Kairi was always skinny to begin with. It was no secret she and I were slightly underweight, but I'd tried to gain a few pounds recently to get to a normal weight. Sometimes, it was hard to even find motivation to eat with the abuse we endured. It didn't stop me from downing five tacos when we went out with friends, but at home, the atmosphere wasn't as comfortable as when we were surrounded by our friends at Taco Bell.

But we were only slightly underweight. It was nothing life-threatening. Being 5' 5" and 118 pounds wasn't going to kill us, so we didn't worry too much about it. The worst part of it was that you could see our ribs a little more than normal when we were at the beach, and that was nothing compared to the fact that most of our scars were visible as well.

"Well, we have the whole evening to do whatever we want," Namine said.

"I vote we sleep," I said, once again muffled by the blanket.

"No way," she said. "We're in Radiant Garden! There's no way we can just sleep the whole day away! There's so much to do here!"

"I guess it won't kill me to get up and do something," I said. "Whatever we do, I guess I'm in." Really, I'd just come to be with my friends anyway…and see Metallica in concert for the first time.

Namine knocked on the door that joined our room with the guys' room. "Hey, do you guys want to come with us? We're just going to go hang out for a while and see some of the sights."

Sora answered the door, followed by Roxas. "Sure, I'm up for killing some time," Sora said. He turned to face his room. "You guys want to go with us?"

They all answered yes and we piled into our cars. The day went by pretty quickly. We visited the mall in the center of the city and did pretty much everything else Radiant Garden had to offer. It was a good day that made me forget all my problems…until later that night.

I woke up crying silently. Kairi was sleeping next to me on the bed. Namine was out cold on the couch while Tifa was snoring on the other bed. "Vanitas…" I sobbed silently.

Somehow I woke Kairi up. "Xion, are you all right?" she asked, groggy and very concerned. She placed her hand on my shoulder as I sat up.

"I'm fine," I lied. "Just go back to sleep. I'll be all right, Kai."

"I heard you whisper Vanitas' name," she said. "You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool me. I can sense all the pain you're hiding inside. I just want you to know that you're not alone and you can talk to me about anything. You can even confide in Namine and Tifa. We love you, Xi-Xi, and we want to help you be happy again."

"Happy again," I muttered. "When was I ever happy to begin with?"

"You were happy with mom and dad, you were happy with Roxas, and you were happy with Vanitas," she said. "Sure, those things were taken from you, but you can make your own happiness. Look for the positive things in your life. You have so many friends who love you, you still have me and Namine, and also, you're about to see your absolute favorite band ever in a few hours. Our home life may suck, but our lives aren't all bad. I love you, Xion."

"You're right, Kai," I said. "Maybe I've just been acting pathetic lately." I dried up my tears and tried to compose myself.

"No, you're not being pathetic," she said. "Anyone would feel the same way you do if they were in your situation. You just need someone to cheer you up." I looked over to her and she smiled at me.

"Well, it does help to have the best sister in the world," I said. "I love you too. I'm going to try to get back to sleep. Thank you, Kairi. You really helped me."

"Ok, goodnight, Xi-Xi," she said as she rolled over and immediately fell asleep. It didn't take me long to fall back asleep. Kairi's words really helped ease my mind, but didn't keep me from being sad.

I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock. It was almost time for the concert. We were going to hang out and go to a restaurant before getting in line to enter the door. The concert started at 6:30 PM. I looked at the clock to see that it was almost noon. I needed to hurry and get ready.

I looked around the room to see that everyone else was ready to leave. "Sorry, Xion," Kairi said. "You were having it so rough last night; I thought you needed a little extra sleep."

"No need to apologize, Kai," I said. I was grateful, really. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said.

I stood up and fished a change of clothes out of the suitcase. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and let my hair air-dry. I didn't care how it looked that day since it was going to be messed up later anyway. Best case scenario: I would sweat so much that it would be like a bucket of water had been dumped on me. Worst case scenario: I'd get a half keg of beer poured on my head by some drunken moron. Unfortunately, I had a feeling the latter would be the case. But even if I did come home smelling like Bud Light, I knew I was going to have the time of my life!

After getting dressed, I met Tifa, Kairi, and Namine at the door. "Are you all ready to go?" Tifa asked. We nodded and met the guys in the lobby before leaving the hotel.

We left the hotel to go out to eat. We chose to eat at the closest place with a buffet bar. I stuffed my face with four plates of food faster than everyone else, besides Demyx, could finish their second plates. Demyx was the only one who could keep up with me. Sometimes I wondered how he stayed as skinny as he did. At least my excuse was that I didn't eat much at home. Maybe it was where Larxene would chase him with knives, swords, and shuriken.

Even though we got there early, right after leaving the restaurant, it was still a long line. But at least we got there before everyone else did. I stood next to Xorik. I'd been talking to him more than usual since the funeral. We developed a bond over the loss of Vanitas. He was one of the few people who actually knew how crappy I was feeling. He was feeling the exact same way. It made me happier to know I wasn't alone in my grief.

Eventually, the line got to moving and we were able to fight our way through the crowd. "Hey, I'm going to stop at Metallica's table," I said. "Anyone wanna come with me?"

"I'll come," Xorik said. We left everyone and decided to meet up at a certain door close to where we would go to the ground level. "So, which t-shirt are you going to buy?"

"I don't know yet," I said as I analyzed them. I decided on a vintage Ride the Lightning shirt with the album cover on the front and tour dates from the 80's on the back. I handed the money to the girl working the booth and took my shirt. Xorik bought a Big 4 Tour shirt with the tour dates on the back. It hadn't even occurred to me that this was part of the tour. "Xorik, is this the Big 4 Tour?"

"Yeah," he said. "Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth, and Slayer are the bands." I was shocked. I knew it was going on, but I didn't think Radiant Garden would be one of the stops for the tour. I guess it made sense since Radiant Garden was a big, famous city. "Let's go find the others before the concert starts." He took my hand, which made me blush, and led me through the crowd, pushing people out of the way and earning a few dirty looks and middle fingers. He ignored them, though, and we met up with the group.

I was having the time of my life! After all the other bands, including Megadeth and Anthrax, played, it was finally time for Metallica. My fear of getting a can of beer dumped on my head came true, but as soon as the band came on stage, I didn't care anymore. I changed shirts in the restroom and used my old shirt as a towel to dry my hair as best I could.

They played all my favorite songs that night. Kairi and I sang along with every single one. I almost screamed when they played my absolute favorite song of all, The Unforgiven II.

_**Lay beside me, tell me what they've done  
>Speak the words I wanna hear, to make my demons run<br>The door is locked now, but it's opened if you're true  
>If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you<strong>_

**_Lay beside me, under wicked sky_**  
><strong><em>Through black of day, dark of night, we share this pair of lives<em>**  
><strong><em>The door cracks open, but there's no sun shining through<em>**  
><strong><em>Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun shining through<em>**  
><strong><em>No, there's no sun shining through<em>**  
><strong><em>No, there's no sun shining<em>**

**_What I've felt, what I've known_**  
><strong><em>Turn the pages, turn the stone<em>**  
><strong><em>Behind the door, should I open it for you?<em>**

**_Yeah_**  
><strong><em>What I've felt, what I've known<em>**  
><strong><em>Sick and tired, I stand alone<em>**  
><strong><em>Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you<em>**  
><strong><em>Or are you unforgiven too?<em>**

**_Come lay beside me, this won't hurt I swear_**  
><strong><em>She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again<em>**  
><strong><em>She lay beside me, but she'll be there when I'm gone<em>**  
><strong><em>Black heart scarring darker still, yes she'll be there when I'm gone<em>**  
><strong><em>Yes she'll be there when I'm gone<em>**  
><strong><em>Dead sure she'll be there<em>**  
><strong><em>What I've felt, what I've known<em>**  
><strong><em>Turn the pages, turn the stone<em>**  
><strong><em>Behind the door, should I open it for you?<em>**

**_What I've felt, what I've known_**  
><strong><em>Sick and tired, I stand alone<em>**  
><strong><em>Could you be there, cause I'm the one who waits for you<em>**  
><strong><em>Or are you unforgiven too?<em>**

Kirk Hammet came in with an epic solo that rivaled even the album version of the song. Being in the large arena made everything sound so much better.

_**Lay beside me, tell me what I've done  
>The door is closed, so are your eyes<br>But now I see the sun, now I see the sun  
>Yes, now I see it<strong>_

**_What I've felt, what I've known_**  
><strong><em>Turn the pages, turn the stone<em>**  
><strong><em>Behind the door, should I open it for you<em>**

**_What I've felt, what I've known_**  
><strong><em>So sick and tired, I stand alone<em>**  
><strong><em>Could you be there, cause I'm the one who waits<em>**  
><strong><em>The one who waits for you<em>**

**_Oh, what I've felt, what I've known_**  
><strong><em>Turn the pages, just turn the stone<em>**  
><strong><em>Behind the door, should I open it for you<em>**

**_(Background) So I dub thee Unforgiven._**

**_Oh, what I've felt_**  
><strong><em>Oh, what I've known<em>**

**_I take this key (never free)_**  
><strong><em>And I bury it (never me) in<em>**_ you_  
><em>Because<em>**_ you're unforgiven too!_**

**_Never free_**  
><strong><em>Never me<em>**  
><strong><em>Because you're unforgiven too..<em>**  
><strong><em>Oo-Oh-Oo<em>**

That was their final song before leaving the stage. I couldn't think of a better way to end the epic concert that I'd waited so long to see. "Oh my God, that was so awesome," I said as we left the arena to go back to our cars. I wasn't paying any attention to where we were going.

"I know!" Kairi squealed. "It was so worth the long drive here! We'll have to see them again someday."

"Yeah," I said. Suddenly, I ran into someone. "Ouch, I'm so sorry." I looked up to see that it was James Hetfield.

"Huh, oh it's ok…what's your name?" he asked.

"Umm, Xion," I said. "Hey, since you're here, can I get my CD autographed?" Tifa handed me the Death Magnetic CD I bought earlier. I had asked her to keep it in her purse.

"Yeah, I guess it wouldn't hurt. How do you spell your name?" he asked.

"X-i-o-n," I said. "And…can you write 'In loving memory of Vanitas?'"

"Sure," he said. "Was this Vanitas someone special to you?"

"He was my boyfriend. He…he died last Monday from a drug overdose," I said, trying not to cry. "He was going to come with us. He loved your music. But then he died."

"Sorry to hear that," he said. "Here you go." He handed me the CD and ran back to the arena.

"Wow, Xion, isn't that lucky," Sora said. "What are the odds of running into him?"

I wasn't really paying attention until he touched my shoulder. "What, oh, I'm sorry," I said. "I was…just thinking about Vanitas. Let's go." I ran ahead of the rest of them to Kairi's car. I knew either Kairi, Xorik, or Namine would be the closest behind me.

I don't even know why I ran. Kairi locked her car, so I knew I wouldn't be able to get in. I was just left standing in the middle of the night in the near-abandoned parking lot. "Xion!" Kairi called. "Are you ok?"

"No," I said, finally telling the truth about my feelings for once. "I thought I could handle mentioning Vanitas, but it's still too much! There's still a hole in my heart from when he left!"

"I understand how you feel, but holding onto the past won't bring him back," she said. "You have to move on or it's going to destroy you! Actually, it almost did when you had that gun pointed at your head. I know it hurts, but you have to realize that you're still alive and you have your whole life ahead of you. You're not the only one who has ever felt this way, nor will you be the last, but you need to heal. Even if it's just one step at a time. Until then, just think of all the good times you had."

"Just hold me, Kai," I said. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my hair. "I love you."

"I love you too, Xi-Xi," she said. I heard her car door unlock and she let me go. "Now, let's go to the hotel so we can go home tomorrow."

We all got in the cars we came in and went back to the hotel. I slept surprisingly well that night. I was so tired, but it was totally worth it. That had been the last, big thing of that summer. All we had left to look forward to was spending time with each other and going to school two months later.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: It's so good to finally have this chapter out. With that said, I'm going to do a timeskip to about 3 months in the future when they've started their first month of school. Also to the point where Xion gets her HIV test. I'm doing this because I can't think of anything for them to do in the summer that will top the concert lol. And also to get the story moving. I have some important story arcs in the future and I want to work them in before I forget them lol. So anyway, thank you for reading. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	19. Where Fears and Lies Melt Away

Author's Note: Here's another chapter of Her Scars. I'm trying to get back on track with these updates, but sometimes writer's block can be troublesome. Thankfully, it's nowhere near as bad as it was for the last half of last year lol. Anyway, enjoy...

I do not own Kingdom Hearts, the song Narcissisitic Cannibal by KoRn, or Kirox and Xorik. John and the idea for the story are all I own.

* * *

><p>I woke up that Sunday morning, three months after Vanitas died. It was going to be the big day, the day I'd find out if was HIV positive or not. Part of me wanted to get this over with, but another part of me was afraid. What if I had the disease? I reasoned that if I knew, I'd be able to fight it, rather than live in ignorance and die young.<p>

Kairi had already left for church before I woke up, our friend, Serah Farron, driving her there. She convinced Serah to go with her. She used to, but stopped going when Hope died. I was happy for Serah that she found a place where she belonged. Kairi never stopped asking me to go too and give it another chance, but I still hadn't forgiven those people who went there.

The load of crap they put her through got even worse a few weeks ago when she started showing. I thought it was beautiful how her stomach had started to swell with the child she was carrying, but she came home crying every Sunday morning because of the names they'd call her. I told her time and time again to leave that pit of hypocrisy, but I had no idea what was wrong with her. I mean, there were other churches here on the main island, but she stayed at that one. I could sense she was considering switching, though.

I got dressed after taking my shower and drove Kairi's car to the hospital for my appointment. The trip seemed to take an eternity. It would be an understatement if I said I was afraid. I was terrified. Obviously, I didn't want to have HIV. I tried to listen to some music to calm my nerves. I turned on the radio and the new KoRn song with Skrillex was playing. I turned the volume up to drown out my own thoughts as I listened to the song.

_**Don't wanna be sly and defile you  
>Desecrate my mind and rely on you<br>I just wanna break this crown  
>But it's hard when I'm so run down<strong>_

**_And you're so cynical, Narcissistic Cannibal!_**  
><strong><em>Got to bring myself back from the dead!<em>**

**_Sometimes, I hate, the life, I made_**  
><strong><em>Everything's wrong every time<em>**  
><strong><em>Pushing on I can't escape<em>**  
><strong><em>Everything that comes my way<em>**  
><strong><em>Is haunting me taking its sweet time<em>**

**_Holding on I'm lost in a haze_**  
><strong><em>Fighting life to the end of my days<em>**

**_Don't wanna be rude but I have to_**  
><strong><em>Nothing's good about the hell you put me through<em>**  
><strong><em>I just need to look around<em>**  
><strong><em>See that life that has come unbound<em>**

**_And you're so cynical, Narcissistic Cannibal_**  
><strong><em>Got to bring myself back from the dead<em>**

**_Sometimes, I hate, the life I made_**  
><strong><em>Everything's wrong every time<em>**  
><strong><em>Pushing on I can't escape<em>**  
><strong><em>Everything that comes my way<em>**  
><strong><em>Is haunting me taking its sweet time<em>**

**_Sometimes, I hate, the life I made_**  
><strong><em>Everything's wrong every time<em>**  
><strong><em>Pushing on I can't escape<em>**  
><strong><em>Everything that comes my way<em>**  
><strong><em>Is haunting me taking its sweet time<em>**

**_Holding on I'm lost in a haze_**  
><strong><em>Fighting life to the end of my days<em>**

**_Holding on I'm lost in a haze_**  
><strong><em>Fighting life to the end of my days<em>**

The music did nothing to calm me down, but it at least chewed up four minutes of the ride. I pulled into the parking lot about fifteen minutes before my appointment and made my way to the doctor's clinic inside the hospital. I sat in the waiting room after signing in, barely entertained by the X-Files rerun on the TV in the corner. "Xion Kinneas," the receptionist called. I stood up and entered the office when she held the door open for me.

The woman left me alone in the room to wait for the doctor. My hands were shaking, so I stuffed them in the pockets of my jean shorts. I took them back out as soon as I stopped trembling. I wished Vanitas could have been with me. Funny, I was wishing for him to be there when he was the one who got me into this mess in the first place! Was he afraid to tell me he had HIV? Was he afraid I wouldn't love him anymore? And it wasn't like it would have been too hard for him to wear a condom every now and then. If he'd worn the condom, I wouldn't have even cared if he didn't tell me! But to risk my life like this? He may have given me one of the deadliest diseases on the planet.

"Hello," the doctor greeted cheerfully as he walked in. I still recognized him from the day Vanitas died and he came to me to tell me of the HIV. He was a tall, bald man. He was also very pale and scrawny. "My name is Dr. Jack Skellington, I'm not sure if you remember me."

"I remember you," I said quietly.

"Well, that's good," he said. "First off, how are you feeling right now?"

"I'm a little scared, but otherwise fine," I said. I hung my head down and stared at my shoes.

"That's to be expected," he said. "I get people like you all the time. HIV and AIDS can be a scary thing. I understand. Vanitas would call me for counseling often. Mostly I'd be away and he'd talk to my wife, Sally, but we spoke a few times. He was just as afraid at first as you are now, but I tried to counsel him and it seemed to help."

Hearing Vanitas' name stung my heart. But I stayed strong. I didn't want to break down in front of Dr. Skellington. "Ok, just hold still while I take a blood sample," he said. He took a needle out of its plastic wrapping, cleaned the area with a pad of rubbing alcohol, and stuck it in my arm. It didn't hurt, but I was more used to pain than most people I knew. I watched as my blood, which I'd seen a lot of in my life, fill the needle. My future was in that little, glass cylinder. Dr. Skellington pulled the needle out of my skin and placed a bandage on it. "I'm done here," he said. "I just need to take this to the lab and have it examined. Expect the results in about a week or so." He started to look away, but turned his attention to my arms and neck. "Say, you have a lot of scars on you. If you don't mind me asking, what happened? I know it probably isn't my business."

"Oh, it's ok," I said. It was ok, I'd just throw out the usual lie. "I've had a lot of accidents growing up. My sister is the same. We would always wreck our bikes, fall off rocks, you know, the sort of things kids get into." I'd told it so much, the lie almost seemed like the truth. Oh God, how I wished it was the truth.

"You two were quite accident-prone, I see," he said. Good, Jack believed me. "Well anyway, I'll send you the results when they are finished. And, try not to worry yourself about this too much. You might not have HIV and if you do, there are so many treatments that can be used to slow its progression. You'll not die of AIDS, Ms. Kinneas. I swear that on my reputation as a doctor." His confidence encouraged me, but there was no way I couldn't worry.

I left the hospital with a lighter load on my shoulders. I just had to keep positive. Seeing Kairi and Serah would help me. Kairi said to meet her at Serah's house when I left the hospital. We had started hanging out with her a lot more. Serah and Claire practically adopted us into their family. I could tell both were lonely. Their parents died when Claire was fifteen and she practically raised Serah by herself. Even battle-hardened Claire started to lighten up around Kairi and me.

I pulled into Serah's driveway. She and Kairi were home from church already. I got out of the car and knocked on the front door. "Xion," Serah greeted as she hugged me and let me in the house.

"Hey Serah," I said. Kairi was sitting on the couch. "Where's Claire?"

"She went to the store to pick up a few things," she said. "Kairi was just helping me with my homework."

I looked at the table to see a chemistry book open. "Mr. Even just loves torturing us, doesn't he?" I said.

Serah laughed. "Yeah, and it's not fair. His son Vexen gets breaks. I know because I saw his last test. He had the same answers I did. He passed, and I failed." Serah rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Have you told anyone?" I asked.

"No one would believe me anyway. It's my word against a teacher," she said. "Oh well, I'll just study harder."

"I guess that's all you can do," I said as we sat down. Kairi and I stayed with Serah until Claire came back. I offered to help with the groceries, but she only had two bags. Kairi and I said goodbye to our friends and we got in the car. I drove.

"So, how was your day," I asked. Kairi looked at me with broken eyes that told me exactly how it went.

"Same as every Sunday," she said. "Serah and I talked, and we're going to look for another church next week. I just can't stay there anymore. Isa just won't give me a break. And it turns out, Saix is his older brother." Saix, the seventh member in a little club at our school. It was a collection of mostly-rejects that wouldn't fit in anywhere else. Axel, Roxas, and Demyx were the only exceptions. They all had the common characteristic of having an "x" in their names. They were running low on members when six of them graduated last year: Xemnas, Marluxia, Larxene, Saix, Axel, and Roxas. Axel, Demyx, and Roxas were the only ones out of them I liked, which is why I refused their invitation. I always got a bad feeling around Xemnas. He seemed like the type that would have organized a school shooting or planted a bomb. Xigbar, the new leader, seemed like the type that would carry out those plans. "I just can't stay there anymore. They even teased Serah because she was with me."

"It's about time you got out of there, Kai," I said. "They're nothing but a bunch of hypocrites anyway." I never claimed to know much about religion, but from what I'd observed in Kairi, Serah, and Hope, Isa's behavior wasn't exactly Christian. There was no telling what skeletons he held in his closet.

"I know," she said. "I just want to go somewhere I won't be judged; where they can accept me, my friends, and my baby." She gently rubbed her enlarged stomach with a smile on her face.

"You'll find it," I said.

"Oh, and Xion, did you find anything out at the doctor's today?" Kairi asked. She placed a hand on my shoulder.

"He took some blood and I'll have my results in a week or two," I said. "But he said I didn't have anything to worry about."

"That's good," she said. "I've just been worried about you."

"I have too," I said. We arrived at our house a few minutes later. Cid wasn't home, so we didn't have anything to worry about. I planned to sleep most of the day, and Kairi said she was going to as well.

Before I could settle in my bed and go off to dream land, my cell phone started to ring. "Hello," I said.

"Hey, it's Xorik," he said. "Are you busy today?"

"Not really," I said. He should have known better, though. I was never busy when he called and wanted to hang out. Xorik and I had grown so much closer over our mutual grief for Vanitas. I found out things about him I never knew before. He told me stories about when he and Vanitas were children.

"Awesome," he said. "Wanna go to the usual place?" For us, the usual place was a private stretch of beach. I'm sure others knew about it, but we were the only ones that would be there. "Pick you up in five minutes?"

"Sure, just let me put my bikini on," I said as we hung up.

I walked to the bathroom to change out of my clothes and into my purple and black bikini. I put on a pair of black shorts and a purple tank top over it. "Kairi, I'm going to spend the day with Xorik. Will you be ok here?"

"Yeah, I'll have Sora pick me up," she said through her door. "I was going to call him anyway."

"Ok, Xorik will be here any minute," I said. "Love you, Kai."

"Love you to, Xi-Xi," she said as I walked to the kitchen to watch for Xorik. When I was with him, it felt like everything would be all right. It was somewhat different, but still similar to what I had previously felt around Roxas and Vanitas. The hole Vani left in my heart was still there, but Xorik, though he didn't make it disappear, made it numb. I didn't hurt nearly as bad when I was with him. He made me feel…like I could love again.

Xorik arrived after a few minutes, and I got into his car. "Hey," I said.

"Hey," he said. "So, we're going to chill out on the beach like always?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way," I said. I felt so comfortable around him, the very one Vanitas warned me about when they first came here. Xorik was a far cry from what he had been before taking his medicine.

"Me either," he agreed. He drove us to the beach and we got out of his car. We walked side-by-side down the beach. It was warm and the breeze felt amazing, so I left my tank top in the car to feel every ounce of the beautiful weather. Xorik looked at me and scanned my body. His eyes went over all the scars on my arms, neck, chest, and stomach. "Xion, I'm sorry if it's none of my business, but you never did tell me how you and Kairi got all those scars on your bodies."

That question surprised me and took my breath for a second, but I was ready to tell him the truth. "Ok," I said. "But before I tell you, you have to swear not to tell anyone! If word got out, Kairi and I could be separated from each other by the government."

"I promise, cross my heart," he said. "But why would they separate you?"

"The one who did this to us…is Cid," I said, holding tears from painful memories. "Occasionally, he beats us up and cuts us. We've gotten used to it, but we still can't stand it! After we graduate this year, we're taking off to Twilight Town and getting away from this place."

Xorik's eyes opened wide in shock. "What did you just say?" he asked, his face reddening and his blood boiling. "Where is he today? I'll kill him!"

"Xorik, calm down," I said.

"No, I can't calm down! For what he does to you, you should have turned him in a long time ago!"

"But…the way this Island handles abuse cases, they almost always separate minors when they are taken away from their abusers. We have a corrupt government. Our judges, sheriff, and mayor have been buying their way into office since the 80's! Please, I don't want to be taken away from Kairi! She's all I have left!" I grabbed Xorik's arm as he started to storm to the car. He looked back into my eyes and saw my pain.

"Seems like you two are screwed either way, then," he said. "Is there anything I can do at all?"

"Kairi and I will be 18 in two months," I said. "After that, we're free to do whatever we want. But until then, we can't let anyone know about the abuse or they'll tell and we'll be separated."

"Who else knows?" he asked.

"Roxas, Demyx, Axel, Sora, Tifa, Cloud, Namine, and Reno," I said. "I don't know if Kairi has told Claire and Serah, but I don't think she has. John and Kirox don't know either, but Vanitas knew. But please, you promised you wouldn't say anything." I let go of his arm and he looked at me. "I trust you with our darkest secret."

"I won't say anything," he said. "Not because I don't want to, but because you don't want me to. Xion, I don't know if I can handle knowing you're abused. You mean a lot to me. These past three months have been the best of my life. You, aside from my brothers, are the only one who understands me the same way Vanitas did. What I'm trying to say is…Xion…I love you."

My heart felt many mixed and contradicting emotions. Part of me was shocked, part was happy, and another was confused. I stood there, dumbfounded, after Xorik said he loved me. I hadn't heard those words from someone other than Kairi or Namine since the day before Vanitas died. "Xorik…"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," he said. "It's too soon, isn't it?"

"No, it's not," I said. "I can't live in the past and mourn Vanitas forever. I owe it to myself to pick myself back up and move on. Xorik, you mean a lot to me too. You're my best friend. Vanitas is gone, but I'm still alive. I need to be happy, and I'm happy with you!"

I hugged him tightly. "Xorik, I love you too," I said with confidence. A new chapter in my life was starting. Xorik was slowly going from making the Vanitas-shaped hole numb, to filling it completely.

Xorik returned the hug and kissed my forehead. "Well, now what?" he said. We both laughed a little and I left the embrace.

"We still have the whole day together," I said. I grabbed his hand and laced our fingers together. With my free hand, I brushed a stray strand of black hair from his eyes. "Let's make the most of it."

"Yeah," he said. We continued down the beach, hand in hand, and deepened our bond. I felt so happy. Though my last two boyfriends didn't work out so well, I thought the third time would be the charm. I would enjoy the rest of the day with Xorik and look forward to the future. Still, in the back of my mind, I was worried about my test results. The future, though slightly brighter, was still uncertain for me. At least I didn't have to go alone. I had my sister, my cousin, my friends, and Xorik with me. With them, I knew I could overcome anything!

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><p>Author's Note: Yeah, it's good to finally have that three-month timeskip out of the way lol. Now I am one step closer to all those ideas I have planned. This story is about to get a little more plot. The last few chapters, though I like how the turned out, feel more like filler. I want to get all these ideas out of my head, and the timeskip was necessary since I didn't have anything for that period anyway. Next update will either be Beauty of Darkness or Silent Kingdom. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	20. I Don't Deserve to Have You

Author's Note: Hey, here's another chapter. It didn't occur to me that this was the 20th chapter until I already saved the file lol. If I'd have thought, I would have done something special for it. Oh well, there's still my 20th story posted, which will be special, and then I wanna do something for my 1 year anniversary this March. It's hard to believe it's been almost a year since I started Shattered Hearts, and here we are now lol. Six stories into the Hearts series, three into the Black Dahlia series, and many others lol.

Warning: Graphic gore in Xion's nightmare. If you get queasy easily, you might want to skip it because I get pretty descriptive. You won't miss out since she recaps it to Kairi afterward. If it doesn't bother you, then by all means, read on lol.

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><p>Two weeks passed. Every morning, ran out to the mailbox first thing before school to see if my test results came in. Two weeks, and they still hadn't arrived. I woke up that Monday morning and readied myself for school. Kairi was waiting for me in the kitchen by the time I was finished. She was eating some bizarre sandwich with scrambled eggs, ketchup, cheddar cheese, and what appeared to be a pickle. "Morning, Xi-Xi," she said as she swallowed her food.<p>

"Goodmorning, Kai," I said. "Is Cid still passed out?"

"Yeah," she said. "Oh, and I went ahead and checked the mail for you this morning. You got a letter from the hospital." That was all it took for me to grab the envelop as soon as I saw it and rip it open. "I think it's your test results."

I pulled out the pieces of paper with my results printed on them. I let out a sigh of relief. "I'm not HIV positive!" Words could not express the joy I felt in my heart, the burden that had been lifted off my shoulders! "By some miracle, I don't have HIV."

"I'm so happy, Xion," Kairi said as she wrapped her arms around me and held me as tight as was safe for her baby. I could see the worry being removed from her face as we finally relaxed. "Well, I guess we should go to school now." She released me. Thankfully, most of our classes were together. The only exception was Chemistry, and I still had that with Serah. But that also meant I had it with Vexen. I hated that class more than anything.

We left for school in Kairi's car and arrived with a few minutes to spare. We hung out in the parking lot with Demyx, Namine, and Serah. Our group had diminished so much when Axel, Roxas, and Sora graduated. I looked away from the group to see someone coming toward us, a boy about my age with long, blond hair and dark eyes. He seemed to be coming specifically to my group. "Hey," he said. "I just moved here and I have no idea where I'm supposed to go. Can any of you tell me where Geometry is?"

"Sure, I can," I volunteered. "I'm Xion Kinneas, and this is my sister Kairi, my cousin Namine, and our friends, Demyx and Serah." I pointed to each of them as I introduced them.

"I'm Kain Highwind," he said.

"Hey, I'm a Highwind too," Namine said. I noticed that they did share a few similarities, notably the blond hair. "And Xion and Kairi's mom was a Highwind."

"Really? Are you related to a Ricard Highwind?" he asked. "He's my father."

"No," Namine said. "I don't think I am. Are you related to a Cid?"

"Nope," Kain said. "Oh well, maybe Highwind is a more common name than I thought."

"Well, to answer your question about Geometry, it's room 122. You just have to go down the hall and take the first right you see. You can't miss it."

"Ok, thanks," he said. "I guess I'll be seeing you guys around?"

"At this small school, of course," I said. Kain disappeared into the school and we decided it was about time to go to our classes.

School came and went in a blur. I saw Kain a few more times and even got to know him a little. He'd just moved to the Destiny Islands from Radiant Garden. He seemed like a nice enough guy. He talked about how he missed his best friends, Cecil and Rosa, but also that they were moving here later in the year. I listened and told him that he could hang out with my group whenever he wanted to.

I met Kairi at the car and we headed home for whatever the rest of the day had in store for us. "I honestly have no idea what to do today," I said, exhausted.

"We haven't gone to the beach together in a while," she said.

"You wearing your bikini under your clothes?" I asked as if there was any answer besides "yes."

"Yeah," she said. "You?"

"Yep," I said. Kairi drove toward the beach, the opposite direction from our house. She parked the car and we stepped onto the sandy beach, leaving our shoes in the car. We walked side-by-side and kept a watchful eye for jellyfish on the sand. Kairi would be dead in minutes if she stepped on one. Aside from the fear of a jellyfish sting, these walks on the beach were one of the things Kai and I loved to do together. The beach was nearly deserted. We saw only two other people the whole day.

Kairi and I decided to sit down on the sand, roll our pant legs up, and let the tide come up to our ankles. It was such a peaceful feeling, sitting in the water next to the person I loved the most. I looked at Kairi with a smile on my face, her stomach swelled with a beautiful child growing inside. "I love you, Kairi," I said.

"Love you too," she said. She was staring out to the horizon, the ocean breeze blowing her hair back. It was blowing my hair into my face as well. "I can't believe I'm getting married next month. Or that I'll be a mother in six months."

"I can't either," I said. "I'm excited for both."

"Me too, but I'm also a little scared," she said. "I guess everyone is, though."

"Yeah," I said. I turned my attention back to the horizon. The sky was a perfect blue, not a cloud in the sky. The water looked like crystal at our feet and it gradually changed to a deeper blue as it got deeper. The Destiny Islands didn't have much compared to the rest of the cities in our country, but one thing we prided ourselves with was having the most beautiful beaches on the west coast. Surfers and vacationers would come for miles to see them. The past summer was actually an oddity because we didn't receive near as many tourists as usual. I welcomed it with open arms.

After a few hours of sitting on the beach, walking, and even swimming, Kai and I decided to go home. We studied for a Chemistry test and parted ways to our rooms. Cid was out God knows where doing God knows what. I was glad for a little peace. I decided to take a nap since the day at the beach drained me of all energy. However, I wished I hadn't when I had the most awful nightmare.

I was in a white room with Kairi. Both of us appeared to be a little older and had wedding bands on our fingers. Kairi wasn't pregnant anymore, either. We talked about different things and she seemed perfectly fine, but then she complained about a pain in her breasts, stomach, and head. Soon, the pain spread throughout her whole body and she collapsed to the ground, screaming. I called for Sora, Xorik, Roxas, anyone who could help her, but no one came. As she screamed, something happened. She ripped her clothes away to see what was happening to her and small creatures chewed their way through her stomach and breasts. It didn't take long for me to realize they were maggots and they were eating her from the inside out, now coming out of her eyes and mouth too. As they consumed her flesh, the grew in size. A few crawled toward me, but I squashed them under my feet before they could reach me and eat me like they were Kairi. Her skin was completely gone, but she was still alive, obviously in pain unimaginable. I was in a fetal position, watching as they consumed her and grew to the size of small dogs. When they finally disappeared, all that was left of Kairi was a pile of bones. Her tortured screams still rang clearly in my ears, though. One, now the size of a Rottweiler, reappeared and charged toward me. I closed my eyes as I felt its razor-sharp teeth burrow into my chest. The pain felt so real that I bolted upright, screaming and sweating.

"Xion, are you all right?" Kairi said as she barreled through the door to my side. I took the blanket and wiped the sweat from my forehead.

"I'm…I'm fine. It was just…just a bad dream," I said as I tried to catch my breath.

"The way you were screaming, it seems worse than 'just a bad dream,'" she said. She raised her eyebrow and stared at me, wanting answers. "Talking about it may make you feel better."

"It was horrible, Kai," I said. "I dreamed we were in a room and we were talking. All of a sudden, you doubled over in pain. Then, huge maggots came out of your body and were eating you from the inside out." Her face turned pale green as I described the dream in all its gory details. "You eventually died and the largest maggot came toward me to kill me too."

"That's horrible, Xion," she said. I hoped she didn't see it too, but I could only think of one thing that dream could represent. It was my fear that she would die of cancer like mom, something that was always in the back of my mind. The growing maggots were my mind's attempt at cancer spreading through her body. "Are you sure you're going to be ok?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said. "I just need a glass of water." My head started pounding due to the stress I was feeling from my dream of Kairi's death. "And probably a Tylenol too."

"Do you want me to get it for you?" she asked.

"No, I can get it myself. You need your rest," I said. "You're the one who is pregnant, after all."

"If you're sure you're all right," she said.

I stood up, my legs threatening to give way and my knees buckling. I shuffled to the bathroom and picked an 8 Hour Tylenol from the medicine cabinet and filled a paper cup with water. I washed the pill down and refilled the cup to take with me back to my room. I heard Kairi snoring in her room as I passed. All our lives, I never knew she snored. One reason being that our rooms were never together as long as I could remember. The other reason being that, when she's sleep in my room or I'd sleep in hers with her, I always fell asleep before she did. Kairi never went to sleep so fast until she got pregnant. Maybe all the hormones and eating for two made her more tired than usual.

I opened the door to my room and decided to turn on my TV, assuming I had a few minutes before the Tylenol knocked me out. I rarely took medicine, so it was easy for something so weak to put me out. The PS3 was in my room that day, so I popped in an old Playstation game, Spyro the Dragon, and had a little nostalgia moment. Kai and I would play those games and Crash Bandicoot all day when we were little. I had to dust off the disc before it would even work. I hadn't played it in nearly three years and was a little rusty, but I soon got the hang of it. Playing it, it brought me back to a more innocent time, a time where mom was alive, where dad still loved us. But that was just an illusion brought on by the nostalgia of my old favorite video game. I couldn't handle it anymore and turned the console off. I buried my head in my Pikachu pillow and cried. "Mom…why did you have to leave me?" I sobbed as the medicine lulled me into a dreamless oblivion.

I woke up to see Kairi sitting on the chair at my desk. "Feeling better?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said. At least my headache was gone, but the memory of my dream was still fresh. "How long have you been sitting there?"

"About an hour," she said. "That's when I woke up. It's already 9PM. Good luck sleeping tonight." She laughed at my lack of foresight.

"I'll be fine," I said. There were two plates on the table. One was empty, but the other had a piece of grilled chicken and a baked potato.

Kairi picked up the full plate and handed it to me. "I figured you'd be hungry," she said. "You haven't eaten since lunch at school."

"Wow, I guess I haven't," I said. As if on cue, my stomach growled and I dug into the food. I don't know what Kairi did to it, but she always made the best grilled chicken. There was some special combination of seasoning she used, but she'd never tell me.

We sat in silence for about a minute while I ate. "Oh, and Xorik called while you were asleep," she said. "I told him you'd call him back."

I made a mental note to call him back when I finished eating. "Thanks. That was delicious, Kai," I said as I finished off the last of the potato.

"You're welcome. Glad to see you enjoy my cooking," she said. Truth was, hers was the best. It reminded me so much of mom's, whereas mine was more similar to dad's. For me and dad, our idea of cooking was picking up the phone and ordering a pizza.

The rest of the night was a blur. I called Xorik and talked to him for a while. Cid came home, but started drinking immediately and passed out. Part of me wanted to smother him with his pillow, but I'm no murderer. I couldn't bring myself to kill another person, no matter how pathetic he may be. I just went to bed and left him alone, praying that my dream wouldn't repeat itself. Thankfully, it didn't and I was greeted with sweet dreams of mom, knowing how empty I would feel in the morning when I realized it was just a dream.

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><p>Author's Note: How did you like this one? I liked introducing Kain Highwind into the story, and even played with the idea of having him related to Xion, Kairi, and Namine, but decided against it. I just couldn't make it work lol. Next chapter will skip a few days to the weekend. Your next update will be Beauty of Darkness, unless I finish the first chapter of my Hunger Games fanfic first. But that's unlikely since that story is coming along slowly lol. Anyway, until next time, friends...<p> 


	21. Falling in the Black

Author's Note: Hey, long time no chapter lol. Anyway, sorry it took so long. I had massive writer's block for this. Anyway, enjoy...

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><p>Halloween was just two days away. I was amazed at how quickly the year was flying by. Xorik and I had been together for a little over a month, Kairi was four months pregnant and showing, and she was going to marry Sora the next month. I sat up in my bed and stretched. I was happy it was finally Saturday and I wouldn't have to go to school. It was all I could do not to kill the other people who tortured Kairi for being pregnant. It was like they'd never seen a pregnant teenager before and didn't understand the pain it caused her to be judged like that.<p>

I stood up and walked to the shower to follow my usual pattern. Get up, shower, dress, then do who knows what with Xorik or Kairi. That day, I'd be going to Xorik's to spend the day with him. He said he wanted me to help him with something important, but wouldn't tell me what it was.

After getting ready, I met Kairi in the kitchen. Sora was going to take her out too. "Hey, I'm going to pick out a costume for Roxas' party. See if they have anything that will fit me," she said, laughing at the last part. "I'd like to go as something other than the Death Star."

"Ok, Xorik and I will just be hanging out at his place while John and Kirox are at work," I said. I was glad Xorik managed to get the day off. His co-worker needed the overtime for some unexpected expenses and Xorik let him have the shift. "Bye, Kai," I said as I walked out the door to our car.

"Bye, Xi-Xi," she said. I closed the door behind me, got in the car, and started the short drive to Xorik's house. The drive had become so routine, it seemed like no time before I was there. I got out of the car and knocked on the door.

"Hey, baby," Xorik said as he opened the door. I stepped inside and kissed him quickly. It was a short one, but a sweet one nonetheless. He didn't have his hair in the usual ponytail. It fell like a curtain down his back and shoulders. From behind, you could often mistake him for Xigbar at school, but the difference would be apparent once he turned around. Xigbar's face was scarred and his right eye was permanently injured after he got into a brawl with Aeleus Klauser, Lexaeus and Bartz' older brother.

"Hey," I said as we pulled away from the kiss. "Now, what was it that you wanted me to help you with?"

"Well, I didn't want to say this over the phone because I thought you might be upset, but I need you to help me clear out Vanitas' room," he said. My blood drained from my face when he mentioned my dead ex-boyfriend. "Fuu and Seifer called the other day. They want his stuff from his room, you know, personal items. Any journals, pictures, drawings, songs, anything he might have made. They've been taking it so hard, and really have nothing to remember him by at their house. He took most of his stuff with him when he came here. They just want a few keepsakes. So, will you help me?"

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Well, I think I can," I said. It was the first time I'd set foot in Vanitas' room since I found him shooting heroin. My last memory of him alive. "Let's get it over with."

Xorik opened the door to Vanitas' old room. It was also the first time it had been opened since the police confiscated all his drugs and questioned Xorik, Kirox, and John about his drug use. Surprisingly, the room didn't smell like dirty needles and death. It smelled like…like Vanitas. The sheets of the bed were still ruffled from when he woke up that morning. The pair of socks I accidentally left after we slept together were still on the floor. On his dresser, there was a picture of us playing I Play Dead onstage at the Paupu Festival that one of his friends in the crowd took, developed, and gave to him. That night, I hadn't realized how close I stood to him. My hair was flying around and obscuring my face a little. I thought I had remained pretty calm the whole time, but apparently I hadn't. Vanitas was doing his best not to shed a tear while singing. I looked away from the picture and tried to concentrate on helping Xorik. I decided that picture could go to Fuu and Seifer.

I went through a drawer on the far side of his room and discovered a small, folded up piece of paper. I picked it up and unfolded it carefully, trying not to damage it. It was a hand-written note that was divided into three parts. The first was addressed to Ven, the second to his parents, and the third to me.

"_Ven, I'm so sorry for everything I ever did to you during your life. If I ever hurt you with anything I said, please, wherever you are, forgive me. I tried to be a good brother, but I can't help feeling that I fell short. I'm sorry for killing you, too. I know it was my fault you died. If I had been paying more attention, we wouldn't have wrecked and you'd still be here with me. I'll miss everything we did together. Remember what we planned to do when we got to Roxas'? How we were going to try and pass you off as him later that day while he wasn't around? That would have been so funny. I can only imagine what Xion would have done if she'd accidentally kissed you instead of him or something. Not that they were a real couple at the time, but anyone with eyes could tell they had a thing for each other. I barely knew the girl at the time, but I knew she was crazy for him because of what Sora would say. Anyway, I don't even know why I'm writing you a letter. It's not like you'll ever be able to read it. Maybe it's just me venting my feelings, but it still feels good to have the illusion of talking to you again. I love you, bro. And I'll miss you for the rest of my life._

_Mom, dad, I love you both so much. Not a day goes by that I don't miss you two, and I'm sorry for Ven dying. I know it was my fault, just like you said, dad. Don't give me the crap about how you just said it in anger. I know in my heart that I could have been paying more attention to the road. Now, Ven's gone and I've never been more depressed in my life. I hate myself. But even so, I still love you both and hope to see you again soon._

_Xion, what can I say? I love you, angel. I had no reason to live after Ven's death, but you brought new meaning to my life. I have never been the praying type, but I did just that once when I asked you out, hoping you'd say yes. You're the only girl I've ever been with that I actually felt an emotional attachment to. Before you, I would jump from shallow relationship to shallow relationship. But you gave me hope that I could truly love someone, and I found that true love I desperately searched for. I don't deserve you, but I'm grateful for every day I have with you. I can definitely see a life with you in my future. Nothing else matters to me besides you, and I'd give everything to be with you. I love you so much. You're the light that pulled me out of my darkness, an angel who pulled me out of the very fires of Hell. You'll never know the true extent of how much I love you. I look forward to our future together, and, should you ever find this note somehow, there's something I want you to do with it. Tear off the part about Ven, hide it back in my dresser, tear off the part for you and keep it, and then give the part for mom and dad to me and I'll mail it to them. Otherwise, you'll see this soon enough. Once more, I love you."_

I completely lost it at the last paragraph. I started to cry even more than I did when I watched him die. Tears stained the carpet beneath me and the sobs stole my breath away. I set the paper aside, lay down on the ground, and cried so hard. "Xion, are you ok?" Xorik said as he rushed to my side. I was clutching my chest as if I were holding myself together.

"Th…this...this note…Vanitas….w…wr…wrote," I said. "R…Rea…read it!"

Xorik picked up the paper, keeping one hand on my shoulder while I cried. He read it and I could see, through my blurry vision, that he was being genuinely affected by it. "I didn't know he wrote this," he said. "I knew he was having it rough, but he didn't even tell me half of what he went through. Wow…"

Xorik wrapped his arms around me and I turned toward him to finish crying. I sat there with him for nearly fifteen minutes, just holding tight and letting out all the hurt I thought had disappeared. The pain of Vanitas' death never really went away. It just faded into the background. Now, seeing his words, it all came back. Not as strong as when he died, but it was still strong enough to break me.

When I finally finished, we both stood up, but Xorik didn't let me go. Instead, he hugged me tightly and didn't say a word. I stepped away from him. "Sorry you had to see that," I apologized.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I'm here for you."

"Xorik, I love you," I said. He started to respond, but we were both cut off by the sound of my phone ringing. I checked the ID and it was Sora. "Hello," I said.

"Xion, you and Xorik have to come here to the hospital fast! Kairi's bleeding bad and they think she's lost the baby," He said frantically.

At first, I was stunned. Xorik looked at me curiously, my eyes bugged out and my mouth wide open. "S…Sora, a…are you sure? How long has she been like this?" I asked. Kairi had been going through what we thought was an awful period for a while, but we just assumed it was because she stopped taking her birth control. Now, what? She was really having a miscarriage? I didn't want to believe it was happening!

"About fifteen minutes," he said. "We were in the mall and she was complaining about stomach problems, so I left her to sit on a bench outside the general store while I bought her some crackers to ease her stomach. When I got back, the crotch of her jeans was soaked in blood and she was as pale as a ghost! Just please, get here as fast as you can!"

"Alright, we'll be there," I said. We hung up and I grabbed Xorik's hand. "We've got to get to the hospital fast! Kairi's losing her baby!" We charged through the door and into Kairi's car. I stepped on the gas pedal, peeling out of the driveway with a screech. It didn't matter how many traffic violations I committed. I just wanted to get to my sister as fast as possible. In my mind, I was running through all the signs that there should have been. There were none except what we thought was a heavy period and Kairi's stomach troubles. But we dismissed her nausea to just a symptom of her pregnancy. Neither of us could have ever known her baby was dying.

Xorik stayed quiet the whole drive, and I didn't mind. There was too much going through my brain for me to hold a conversation anyway. I couldn't stop crying. My vision was almost too blurry from my tears to see the road. Xorik put his arm over my shoulder and I took a quick glance at him. He saw the pain and the fear in my eyes and I knew he could read my thoughts with my expression. I was thinking, "Why, when things are finally seeming good in our lives, does this have to happen?" Cid had left us alone for near a month, Xorik and I were happy, Kairi and Sora were planning their wedding, and the world seemed so perfect. I should have known that wasn't our luck. In our world, things blindsided you, things went wrong when you least expected them to, and the people you loved the most would die at a moment's notice. I just went from heartache to heartache and so did Kairi.

I parked the car near the Emergency Room door and we entered the building, practically running. I ran to the receptionist. Her nametag read "Tina Branford." She had long, blond hair tied in a ponytail and green eyes. "Where is Kairi Kinneas? I'm her sister, and I want to know if she's alright. Her boyfriend told me she was having a miscarriage," I said as calmly as I could manage, but it wasn't very convincing.

Tina checked her computer for Kairi's room number. "She's on the second floor, room 211. The doctors stopped her bleeding, but the fetus was expelled from her body before she arrived. You can go see her now."

"Thank you," I said. I grabbed Xorik's hand and we went to her room as fast as possible. Tears made my vision even blurrier than they had while I was driving. I didn't want this to be happening, and I could only imagine how Kairi was feeling.

We entered the room and Kairi was lying there facing the window. She had IVs in her and all kinds of monitors attached to her. It hurt to see her that way, but at least she was all right. Sora was sitting next to her, holding her hand and occasionally kissing her forehead. He looked so broken that he didn't even notice us enter the room. His eyes were fixated on Kairi's. I started to turn and leave, but Xorik nudged me forward. "Sora, Kairi," I said. "It's me and Xorik. How are you feeling, Kai?"

Kairi turned to me. Her face was red, her eyes were puffy, and there were tears running down her cheeks. "Xion…" she whispered. I immediately ran to her embraced her. I could see in her eyes that she needed me to be with her. This simple gesture was all I could do. "Why did this have to happen? I…I…"

"Shh, Kairi," I said. "I'm here."

"My…baby," she cried. Her words were soon choked away by her tears. Kairi had a long road to recovery, but I wouldn't dare let her go alone. I would stand by her through the worst life had to offer. And unfortunately, Kairi _had_ been hit with the worst thing life could throw at her, losing a child.

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><p>Author's Note: Ok, so people who have read My Black Dahlia and In the Arms of the Angels saw something like this coming a mile away. They knew Kairi had no children in those stories and the only possibilities would be adoption or miscarriage. And since this is the first arc of Her Scars and good things just don't happen to them very often, Kairi had the miscarriage. I promise things will get better for them as the story progresses, so bear with me lol. Anyway, next update will be either Silent Kingdom or Beauty of Darkness. I haven't decided which I'll devote more of the time to yet lol. Until next time...<p>

P.S. Tina Branford in this story is, in fact, a Final Fantasy character, though most probably know her as Terra. I went with her original name from the Japanese version of Final Fantasy VI because I plan to introduce the Kingdom Hearts Terra and didn't want there to be much confusion. Good thing Riku won't be in this story since I also plan to introduce Rikku later lol. Anyway, just thought I'd clear that up.


	22. Falls Apart

Author's Note: Sorry for the ungodly long delay. I've been blocked like you wouldn't believe and also have been working on commissions on Deviantart. There's a timeskip at the beginning and the middle, but they're not much. First is a three week and the next is after Xion and Kairi's birthday, which would be about a week or so. Also, PoV changes to Tifa about halfway through, but I'll show when it does that. I've had the part for Tifa written for about a month or so now. There's a lot of future scenes I already have written for this arc that I'm waiting to just copy and paste to this. Anyway, enjoy...

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><p>Three weeks passed. Kairi seemed to get worse every day. I'd never seen her in such a deep depression. All of her inner suffering was beginning to show on the outside. Dark circles appeared under her eyes, her hair was a constant mess, she skipped school every day, and she started to withdraw from everyone except me. And I could tell she was starting to grow cold to me, also. I didn't blame her for wanting to be alone. I was once the same way, but at the same time, I wanted to help her in some way.<p>

Cid was gone again. He took off the day after Kairi's baby died to spend time with his friends in Twilight Town. It still baffled me how that man could have any friends at all. Kairi avoided me the whole day, locking herself in her room and not answering when I would knock. And if she would answer, she'd mutter something like "go away" or "leave me alone, Xion." I knew she was suffering, but I just wanted to help her and it hurt that she was pushing me away. Did she feel like that when I shut her out after mom died?

I was walking out of the bathroom when I noticed Kairi leaving her room for the first time in a few hours. She looked all around herself as if she were sneaking. I decided to follow her, just to see what she was being so secretive about. I kept an eye on her, but I stayed out of sight. She went through the hallway, into the living room, and stopped in the kitchen in front of Cid's liquor cabinet. She opened the door and I saw her pull out a bottle of vodka from the top shelf. "Oh my God," I whispered. I'd never seen Kairi drink. She'd never been the type to even consider it before. Now…I was watching her take a long, hard drink straight from the bottle. She staggered from the obvious light-headedness from taking in that much alcohol at once and closed the cabinet door. She started to come my way and I decided to show her I was following her. "Kairi, what do you think you're doing!"

"What does it look like," she said with a bite in her voice. "I'm taking Cid's vodka and I'm going to get as wasted as I possibly can."

"Kairi, you don't drink," I said. "When did you start?"

She took a drink from the bottle. "Last week," she said. She got closer to me and I could smell the alcohol on her breath. The smell was awful, almost overwhelming. "I just couldn't take it anymore, so I found a release."

"But…this isn't like you," I said. "And Cid's going to kill you when he gets home and sees half his stash is gone. You know very well that he keeps track of it."

"Screw him," she said. "He might not come back. He might die in a car accident or something." I wasn't used to those kinds of harsh words coming from Kairi. That was more of something I'd say, not the sweet one of the family. "Now, get out of my way before I move you myself!" I stepped out of her way as fast as I could. I didn't want to get into a fight, not with my own sister.

When she was gone, I dropped to my knees and cried. "Kairi…what happened to you?"

I shuffled to my room and threw myself on my bed. I couldn't believe Kairi was…

I must have dozed off because the phone woke me up. Sora's name showed up on the Caller ID, so I let it ring. Kairi apparently answered the phone since it stopped ringing. I sat up and straightened my hair with my fingers. I was still drowsy from the nap, but I picked myself up and walked through the house. I didn't count on Kairi cooking, so I threw a cup of instant ramen in the microwave. I waited the three minutes for it to finish and ate it straight out of the cup. Kairi came back to the kitchen when I was almost finished eating. Her eyes were puffy and red. She looked as if she had been crying. "Kai, what's wrong?" I asked.

"None of your business, Xion," she said with a slurred voice. She was extremely drunk.

"God, Kairi, I just want to help you," I said in an irritated tone I rarely used with her.

"Well, I don't want your help," she said. "I don't want anyone's help. But if you really must know, Sora just broke up with me. He found out I'm drunk and…and…le…left…me…" She started to wobble and I thought she was going to pass out. I set my cup down and ran toward her just in time to catch her. I slung her left arm over my shoulders and led her back to her room. She was completely out of it. I dropped her off on her bed and picked up any bottles in the room. She'd already gone through a whole bottle of vodka and four beers. She was working on beer number 5 before she passed out, so I took it with me to the kitchen and dumped it in the sink.

So, Sora broke up with her? Even in her current state of mind, I found it hard to believe Sora would actually do that. He seemed to love her so much. They had the third-longest relationship out of anyone in our close circle of friends, only being beaten by Xorik and Olette and Axel and Larxene.

I closed the door to my room when I entered and dialed Sora's number on the phone. It rang forever until he finally picked up. "Kairi, I don't wanna…" he said.

"Sora, it's Xion," I said, cutting him off. "What exactly happened? I thought you and Kairi were in love?"

"Oh boy," he said in a sigh. "We've been having it rough ever since our baby died, but tonight was the deal-breaker for me. I just don't think I can be with someone who is constantly intoxicated. Also, she hasn't exactly been sweet to me for the past few weeks. She bites my head off over the smallest things. I just can't deal with it, Xion. You understand, right?"

"I get why, but it's still a shock to see you two broken up," I said. "You seemed so much in love."

"I do love her, but I just can't take it anymore," he said. "I don't hate Kairi and I wouldn't abandon her to save my life. I'll still do anything for her, all she has to do is ask, but I can't handle her attitude anymore. I know she's depressed, but she's taking it out on me."

"She's taking it out on me too," I said. "And I see where you're coming from, Sora. You're a good man and I know, deep down, Kairi still loves you. She cried so hard when you said it was over."

"I know that," he said. "I know I probably hurt her even more than she already was, but enough is enough. She's not the same Kairi when she's drunk. She honestly reminds me more of Larxene now than anyone else."

"I know what you mean," I said. "I hate this."

"Me too, but hey I gotta go," he said. "I told mom and dad I'd visit them, so see ya later."

"Ok, bye," I said. I hung up and sighed. "Kairi, please come back." I buried my face in my pillow and cried. I was losing my sister and couldn't even do anything about it. She wouldn't listen to reason. I picked the phone back up and dialed Serah's number.

"Hello," Claire answered.

"Hey, it's Xion. Is Serah home?" I asked.

"Oh hi," she said. "Yeah, Serah's here." She called out for Serah to answer the phone. She sounded muffled, so I assumed she put her hand to the microphone.

"Hello," Serah answered.

"Hey," I said. "Have you talked to Kairi lately?"

"Not in two weeks," she said. "I was actually going to try calling later. Is she alright? She sounded so depressed when I talked to her last. I'm so sorry she lost the baby."

"About that, she's gone downhill. She's in her room, passed out drunk," I said.

"Drunk?" Serah gasped. "What's going on with her? Kairi doesn't drink."

"She does now," I said. "I don't know what to do. I thought I'd call you since you're her best friend and you know her as much as I do. I just need someone to talk to."

"I don't know what to do either," she said. "Just…make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. If anything happened to Kairi, I don't know what I'd do."

"Yeah," I said. "Well, I'll let you go and I'm going to check on her. Bye."

"Bye," she said as she hung up.

I got up and walked to Kairi's room. I slowly opened the door to see she was still completely out. My heart broke to see what my sister had been reduced to. I had no problem with people who drank, but Kairi was taking it further than most people. She was practically an alcoholic now. I had no idea how she was able to drink a whole bottle of vodka at once.

"Kairi, please come back to me," I whispered. "Don't throw your life away like this." A few stray tears escaped my eyes as I closed the door and headed back to my room. I threw myself onto my bed and cried myself to sleep.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Tifa's<strong> **PoV:**_

"Hey Tifa, two more," a man called from across the bar. He'd been there with his girlfriend all night, and I could tell both were about to pass out.

"Don't you think you've had enough," I asked, but I poured their drinks anyway.

"I'll…I'll…know when…when…" he trailed off in his stupor.

"I'll call you a cab," I said.

"Thanks," he said just before he fell asleep on the bar. It was like this every night. Pour drinks while I listened to the customers ramble on. I expected this when I opened Seventh Heaven, so it was no big deal. Though, every now and then I had to take a break from it and let Claire take over my shift.

I took the man's last empty glass and started to wash it when I noticed a familiar patch of red hair in the corner. I leaned over the bar to get a closer look, and I didn't want to believe what I was seeing. Kairi was sitting with an older man, glass of whiskey in her hand, and she looked completely plastered.

"Excuse me," I said to the people at the bar. I stepped from behind the bar and walked over to Kairi to confront her. "Kairi, what are you doing here?"

I barely understood Kairi when she spoke. "What does it look like, Tifa? I'm getting drunk as I can," she said. She took another long drink and slammed the empty glass on the table.

"You're not old enough, Kairi," I said furiously. "You're barely 18. Some of my customers are cops! If one of them comes in here and catches you, I'm finished! I'll lose my bar!"

"18? You told me you were 25," the man beside her said. He looked at me with a pleading expression. "I swear, I thought she was 25."

"Oh, shut up," I said to him. He cleared out quickly after I snapped at him. I didn't even care if he paid for his and Kairi's drinks or not. "Kairi, please leave. If you want to drink, do it at home. I can't stop you there. But you can't do it here."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said casually as she picked up the man's drink and started to finish it.

"Oh, no you don't," I said as I snatched the glass from her hand. "Get out now, or I will call the police."

"Just to let you know, I drove here myself," she said. "It would be awfully irresponsible to send me home in my condition, right?" Her attitude was so unlike the Kairi spoke to hardly a month prior.

"I'll ask Namine or Cloud to take you home," I said. I could have offered to take her myself, but I didn't want to be anywhere near her when she was this drunk. "Either a free ride home with a friend, or a ride downtown with the cops. Your choice."

"I'm not going anywhere," she repeated slowly, with venom in her voice. As mad as I was, my heart was also broken. I'd known Kairi all her life, and she'd never been like this before. After she lost her baby, it was just a downward spiral for her. I could see some of it, but until tonight, I hadn't realized the full extent of her suffering. She wanted an escape, but she wasn't going about it the right—or legal—way.

"Then you leave me no choice," I said. I stormed back to the bar and got my cellphone from my purse underneath the bar. I dialed 911 and the operator answered. "Hello, I need the police to come here ASAP. I'm the owner of the Seventh Heaven bar at Square Rd, and I have a drunk minor who refuses to leave."

"Have you told this person that you would call the police if they didn't leave?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "She still refuses to leave. But please, tell them to take it easy on her. I know this girl, and she's going through a really hard time right now. Her home life is awful and she just lost her baby a few months ago. Her name is Kairi Kinneas. She's about 5' 6", she has long, red hair and blue eyes, and she just turned 18."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said. "Just make sure she doesn't go anywhere and if she drove, take her keys."

"Ok, thank you," I said. She hung up and I walked back over to Kairi. "Kairi, the police are on their way. Give me your car keys."

"How could you, Tifa?" she screamed. "Why did you call the cops on me?"

"Because I told you to leave and you wouldn't," I said. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Kairi, I love you. I really do. But I have to think about my business and family too. Cloud's courier service can't pay the bills by itself. If I lost this bar, I don't know what we'd do. So please, just stay here for a while and I'll hold on to your car keys. They probably won't put you in jail. I told them to take it easy on you since you're going through so much."

"Tifa…" she said. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to stop tears. I didn't say a word. I pulled a chair next to her and wrapped my arms around her. She cried onto my shoulder while I held her.

The police officer arrived and I motioned him to where we sat. "Please, just keep her overnight. I'll pay her bail in the morning, whatever it is," I said. "She's a good kid, really, she is. She's just confused because her whole world fell apart a month or so ago."

The officer gave me an understanding nod. I had never been more thankful to live in a small town in my life. "If this is her first offence, I'll consider letting her off the hook tonight," he said.

"This is her first offence," I confirmed. "Check your systems, you won't find anything worse than a speeding ticket."

"She looks like she's about to pass out, so I'll take her home," he said.

"Kairi, wake up," I said, nudging her slightly. "This man is going to give you a ride home."

She slurred awake. "Ahh, alright," she said.

I helped the officer drag her limp form to the car and I picked the keys out of her pocket. "If she's here again, you know I can't let her go," he said.

"I know," I said. "I'll make sure she doesn't even get through the door until she's twenty-one. It was a miracle she even made it in this time."

"Well, as long as it doesn't happen again," he said. He got in his side of the car and drove off with Kairi, leaving me alone in the dark.

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><p>Author's Note: So, Kairi is really depressed from losing the baby, so she turns to alcohol. How do you think this will end up for her? Thanks for being patient and continuing to enjoy this story. Until next time, friends...<p> 


	23. Rock Bottom

Author's Apology: I am truly deeply sorry from the bottom of my heart for making you guys wait this long for this new chapter. I've had such block for this that it isn't even funny. But I'm back on track hopefully.

Anyway, in this chapter, I introduce a few new characters. Elli, Lexil, and Miya. None of them are mine. Elli and Lexil (Lexil being Elli's Nobody in her original appearance) belong to my dear friend Whyte-Tyger on deviantArt. Miya belongs to my other friend IrishPirateQueen from deviantArt. They are the daughters of Ansem the Wise in their original stories and our roleplay group. John and Lexil are a pairing also. I've given JohnxFang a break for the time being to focus on this pairing a bit more.

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><p>I drove to school by myself again for the third time that week. Kairi stopped going to school at the start of the week to stay home and drink more. I hated what my sister had become, and felt so helpless because there was nothing I was able to do to stop it. All I wanted was the sweet, innocent girl I grew up with. I didn't want this clone of Cid she'd slowly turned into.<p>

I pulled into the parking lot next to Serah just as she was getting out. She looked awful recently. Of course, so had I. She had dark circles under her eyes where she would stay up all night on the phone with Kairi, making sure she didn't do anything stupid. "Morning, Serah," I said as I got out of the car.

"Oh, good morning," she said. "I really didn't want to come today. I was awake until about five this morning talking to Kairi. I only got two hours of sleep, if even that."

"Same here. I was there listening to her through the wall," I said.

"So pitiful, really," Serah said. "Kairi was always the strong one out of us. I hate that this has happened to the person who got me back into church and everything."

"I guess losing a baby can break the best of us," I said.

"It wasn't just that," she said, looking down at the ground and biting her lip. "Kairi told me last night that everything that has happened to her was slowly eating away at her. There's only so much anyone can take and Kai reached her breaking point."

I looked at my feet as we walked to the school. "I hate this so much," I said, a tear rolling down my cheek. "I just know I'm going to walk into her room and she'll be dead from alcohol poisoning or drowning on vomit or something."

"I know," she said. "I'm so afraid for her. This will kill her eventually. Whether it be an accident now or liver disease later in life. Either way, she won't live long with as much as she drinks."

"And I thought Cid drank a lot," I said. "I found half of his liquor cabinet empty last night. She had some bruises on her cheeks, arms, legs, and stomach when I saw her walk out of the bathroom after her shower. I just know he hurts her for stealing his stash."

"Does she do anything to him?" Serah asked. "I mean, does she get back at him for hurting her?"

"There are scratches on his face and arms. My guess is she dug her fingernails into him," I said.

"I never thought Kairi would be able to fight," Serah said.

"Get her mad enough and she's capable of anything," I said.

"I guess," Serah sighed. "I guess I'll see you after class?"

"If we survive," I said. Serah and I parted ways as we walked to our respective classes.

The school day came and went like a blur and I called Xorik just before I left the parking lot. "Xorik, mind if I come over for a while?"

"Not at all," my boyfriend said.

"Ok love you," I said.

"Love you too," he said before hanging up. I drove to his house and he answered the door before I could even knock. "You got here pretty fast."

"I can't handle being in the house with Kairi anymore," I said as I kissed him. "It's just so bad now. She acts like she hates me, and I didn't even do anything."

He hugged me closer. "Don't worry, she doesn't hate you," Xorik said. "She's just going through a hard time and doesn't know who to take it out on."

"But if she keeps this up I'm afraid I'm going to find her dead, Xorik," I cried. "I've already lost my mom, my dad, I can't lose her!"

"Shh, it's ok," he said as he cradled me like a child. We sat down on the sofa and he held me tighter.

"Xorik," I whispered.

Just when I started to stop my sobbing, Kirox came home and stopped at the threshold of the living room. "Umm, am I interrupting something?" he said. "And hi Xion."

I wiped my eyes. "Hi Kirox, and no you're not," I said.

"She's afraid for Kairi," Xorik said to his twin. "Xion, I gotta talk to Kirox for a bit. I'll be right back."

"Ok," I said. Xorik left the room and took his brother to the kitchen. I couldn't make out their conversation, but I heard "Vanitas," "depression," and "she needs some real help." I only assumed they were talking about both me and Kairi. They came back in the room when they were finished. Xorik reclaimed his place beside me and Kirox flopped down on the chair.

"John's going to be back any minute," Kirox said. "He told me he had to pick up some stuff from the store and post office."

"I can leave if you guys want," I said, not wanting to intrude on any time the brothers might want to have together.

"You're fine, Xi-Xi," Xorik said. "I know what John's after. It's dad's birthday in a few days and he's going after some things for a party. Mom and dad are coming down for the weekend to celebrate it." I'd only even seen Zack and Aerith once, at Vanitas' funeral.

"Oh, that's great," I said. "I can only imagine how much you've been missing them."

"You have no idea…" he started. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like…"

"It's fine," I said. "I've pretty much come to terms with the fact I'll never see mine again."

"There's still time for you and your dad to…"

"No!" I shouted. "I never want to see him again after what he did to me and to Kairi! Hell will freeze over before I ever let him back into my life!"

He wiped away the tears that were apparently streaming from my eyes and kissed me gently. "Xion, I understand that you're angry," he said. "But he is your father."

"Yeah, but Charles Manson was a father too. Any random guy can get a girl pregnant," I said with contempt.

"Did you always hate him so much?" Xorik asked. "I mean, even when your mom was alive?"

"No, he used to be different," I said. "But he left us with Cid right after mom died! All the love he showed us…he threw it all away when he abandoned us."

"I'm sorry Xion," Xorik said as he hugged me tightly.

"John's bringing his girlfriend over too," Kirox added when I had calmed down.

"Since when does he have a girlfriend?" I asked. All the times I'd been there, there had been no mention of her.

"Her name's Lexil. She just moved down here a few weeks ago," Xorik said. "They went out a couple of times when we lived in Twilight Town and she couldn't stand to be away from him, so she transferred to the college down here with her older sisters, Elli and Miya."

"Oh, I see," I said.

No sooner than our conversation was over, John and who I presumed was Lexil walked through the door. "Hey Xion, wasn't expecting to see you here," John said. I got a good look at Lexy. She was beautiful, with piercing green eyes and prematurely gray hair that faded into a lavender toward the ends. She was also incredibly pale. "Meet Lexil, my friend from Twilight Town."

"Nice to meet you, Lexy," I said, standing up greet her.

She shook my hand. "Hey," she said. "John's told me about you, his brother's girlfriend right?"

"Yeah," I said. "So you're John's girlfriend?"

John and Lexy grew extremely silent. "Umm…who…Kirox!" Lexil stuttered.

"Well, that's what he said," I said innocently.

"You two might as well be," Kirox said. "I swear, the sexual tension between you two nearly suffocates me."

"Just…shut up and help me with the stuff for dad's party," John said, blushing redder than a tomato.

Kirox just started laughing. "If you say so, brother dearest," he chuckled. Kirox walked through the door, earning a punch in the arm from his brother.

"Sorry for embarrassing you guys like that, but he did say you were a couple," I said, blushing myself.

"You're alright, Xion," John said. "Kirox and…this little ponytailed guy here have always loved to torture us about it." He pointed at Xorik and Xorik shrugged his shoulders.

"So you aren't?" I asked.

"It's complicated," Lexil spoke up.

"Oh ok," I said, dropping the subject altogether. "Hey, I think I'd better go home. Gotta make sure Kairi doesn't do anything stupid tonight."

"Your sister?" Lexil asked.

"Yeah," I said. "It was good meeting you Lexy. Bye everyone." I kissed Xorik once more and walked out the door to the car. I got in and drove the short distance to my house. Cid's truck was home and I could see the two of them through the kitchen window. They were apparently arguing. I knew it wouldn't end very well, but there was nothing I could do about it. "Oh God, not again."

I parked the car and quietly entered the house. "Shut up, old man! I haven't touched your drinks in days. I've been getting my own!" Kairi yelled.

"Then where did it all go?" Cid screamed at equal volume. "A bottle of Jack don't drink itself!"

"Oh I don't know, maybe you poured it down your throat and just can't remember!" she said sarcastically. I knew she was lying, though. I saw the bottle in her room the night before.

I had about as much as I could take. Even when she started screaming louder, I just ran off to my room. I locked the door behind me and collapsed onto the floor next to my bed. I pulled a small box from underneath, containing a few mementos from our childhood. There was one item in particular I was going after.

I pulled a picture from the top of the pile of keepsakes. It was a family portrait, the last one we ever took together before mom was diagnosed with cancer. Mom was wearing a brown dress, dad standing next to her in a blue shirt and his favorite cowboy-style hat. Mom looked as beautiful as I remembered and we all seemed so happy. Kairi and I were looking at each other and she waved at the camera. Seeing mom and dad was far too much for me to handle and I started to cry, my tears dripping onto the frame. I set the frame to the side and doubled over in grief. "God, if you're there, why did things have to get so awful?" I asked, still unsure whether I was actually doing any good with my questioning or just talking to thin air. It didn't matter, though. Even just the simple act of venting my feelings was enough. I pulled myself up to my bed and cried the rest of my tears into my pillow before falling into a deep sleep, praying that these few months up until this point were just a sick dream.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: How I missed writing this. Writer's block for your favorite works is completely awful. Anyway, the scene with the picture was planned for a while. I commissioned my friend, VerticalyChallenged from deviantart, to draw it and based this chapter around that. I wanted to show a time where they were happy, and don't worry, they will be happy again soon. Until next time...<p> 


	24. At Death's Door

Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay yet again. Here's the new chapter. There's about a two week timeskip since the last chapter, so enjoy.

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><p>"Namine, I just don't know what to do anymore," I said as we talked on the phone. "Kairi all but hates me now."<p>

"She can't hate you, Xion," she said, trying to reassure me. "You're her sister, the only immediate family she has left."

"She doesn't seem to care about that anymore," I said, my voice starting to break with tears. "Ever since she lost her baby, she's changed for the worse. I don't know what to do anymore."

Namine was silent for a minute. "I'm sure it's not just the baby thing," she said. "I know it has to do with my father too. Xion, I'm begging you, please, get out of there and live with me and Tifa and Cloud."

"I can't leave Kairi alone with him," I said. "It's hard to tell what he'll do to her with no witnesses around."

"I know what you mean," she said. "I still...think he had something to do with mom disappearing."

"Everyone does," I said. "It wasn't like Shera to just leave like that." Namine's mother, the only person other than mom who had ever seemed to care about Cid, couldn't have disappeared of her own volition. But there hadn't been sufficient evidence to pin her disappearance on Cid.

I tried to change the subject quickly. Her mother wasn't something Namine liked to dwell on more than she had to, especially since it was most likely she was dead after all these years. "Anyway, I'll try to maintain my sanity and get Kairi to go get some help. Talk later?"

"Sure, Xi-Xi," she said. "Bye."

"Bye," I said, hanging up my phone and laying it on the nightstand. I buried my face in my palms and curled up in a ball, remaining that way for near an hour. I heard a knock on the door and hesitantly stood up to answer it. It was Kairi, her face bruised from a previous fight with Cid. "What do you want, Kai?"

"I'm going out tonight," she said coldly. "Just thought I'd tell you before you flip out when you see me gone."

"Kairi, you need to stop," I pleaded. "I...have a bad feeling."

"You can take your bad feeling and shove it up your a..."

"Kairi shut up and listen to me!" I screamed. "I hate seeing you like this! You're my sister and I love you! Don't throw your life away like this."

"You're not my mom," she said, cutting to the bone.

"I know I'm not mom. I couldn't hope to be half the woman she was, but that doesn't matter," I defended. "If she could see you now, she would be so hurt!"

"But she can't. She's dead," Kairi spat. "Now, I'm leaving. Probably see you tomorrow or something..." Kairi stormed off. I heard the door slam and her car roar to life.

When I was sure she was gone, I slammed my door, locked it, and threw myself against the wall to the side. I slid down to my butt and buried my face in my knees, starting another crying fit. I couldn't handle my sister acting like this. It was like someone had taken Kairi and replaced her with this hateful monster. But the harsh reality was that it really was Kairi. She really had given up on life. I picked up my cellphone and dialed Xorik's house number. When the phone was answered, it wasn't Xorik on the other end. "Hello," a woman's voice said.

"Hello?" I said, not recognizing the voice right away. "Is Xorik home?"

"No, this is Lexil," she said. "Xorik's with Kirox, trying to fix Kirox's car. It wouldn't start this morning, so they had it towed to a garage."

"Oh, ok," I said. "I was going to see if he wanted to come pick me up. I just need to get out of this house."

"I can only imagine," Lexil said. "John's been...filling me in on what's been happening with you these past months. I'm sorry."

"I'm fine," I lied. "I just worry about Kairi."

"I know," she said. "It's understandable to be concerned for your sister when she's out of control."

"I'm sorry if it seems like I'm burdening you with my problems, Lexil," I said.

"It's no problem," she said. "Just don't give up on her. Some fragment of that girl who used to be Kairi is still in there somewhere."

"Thank you, Lexil," I said.

"Call me Lexy," she added.

"Alright, Lexy," I corrected. "Well, I'd better go get something to eat. See you around sometime?"

"Bye," she said. "See you next time you come to Xorik's."

"Bye," I said as I hung up the phone. I got up and collapsed on my bed. I stared at that chair Kairi would sit in when she used to come to my room. I sighed and flipped over, trying to drown out all my memories with song lyrics in my head.

A few hours passed. I was beginning to worry about Kairi, even though I was used to her not calling. Something just...didn't feel right.

My phone started to vibrate, and I recognized the number as Kairi's. "Kairi, I'm so glad you called I've been worried…" I was cut off by the sound of another voice.

"Are you Kairi's sister?" the man asked on the other line. "She was trying to say something like 'Call Xion' a few minutes ago before she blacked out. She's been in an accident, and it's not looking good."

My whole being froze right there. Kairi was in an accident? It just couldn't happen! I wasn't ready to lose the only family I had left! "Where is she now? And what happened?" I asked frantically.

"I found her car wrapped around a tree and she was thrown out of it. She'd landed about twenty feet away from the car. I called 911 immediately and my wife and I tried to help her as best we could. She was cut up pretty bad and I was surprised she was even still alive," he said. "She's on her way to Destiny Memorial Hospital, but the man in the ambulance said he didn't think she was going to make it."

"I'll be there as fast as I can," I said. I ran out to the yard and stole Cid's truck. I'd be willing to take whatever beating he'd throw at me later, just as long as I made it to Kairi in time!

I entered the doors of the emergency room and saw them wheeling Kairi into a room. I plowed past nurses and orderlies as I ran to her side. "She's crashing," I heard a doctor say. Her heartbeat was frantic and all I could do was cry as I watched my sister die. Finally, the monitor flat-lined and the doctor grabbed the defibrillator. A nurse pulled her shirt off so the doctor could shock her back to life. "Charging to 100," he said as he placed the paddles on her chest. He shouted "clear" as he unloaded the charge into her heart. Nothing happened. "No, charge to 200." He tried again. Once again, he was unsuccessful in his attempt to bring her back. My heart broke and I cried rivers. It wasn't easy to stay when three large men were trying to pull me back, but I managed to overpower them and watch as the doctor charged the defibrillator to 300, his last attempt to revive the person I loved most.

"Kairi, no," I screamed. "You can't die, not yet! Please, come back to me!"

He shouted "Clear" one more time and unleashed the last surge of electricity into Kairi's heart. Her back arched from the jolt and she flopped down onto the bed. This time, her heart rate picked back up. I was relieved until she started screaming and sat up. "No, please, help me!" she screamed as she squirmed, trying to get away from the nurses.

"Calm down, miss," a nurse said, holding Kairi's legs so she wouldn't kick anyone.

Kairi started to breathe erratically and thrash back and forth. They struggled to hold her down as another doctor injected a sedative into her arm. Kairi's attempts to free herself calmed down as the drug took effect. Her screams became whispers, and she was soon asleep. They took her off so they could treat her wounds, and I was forced to sit in the waiting room.

After waiting for a few hours, the nurse who tried to calm her down came to me. "Are you Kairi's sister?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied, still disturbed from the chaos earlier.

"She's awake and wants to see you," she said. "Her room is the third one on the left."

"Thank you," I said as I ran to her room. I saw Kairi lying in her bed, looking out the window and clutching one of those Gideon Bibles against her chest as much as her many bandages would allow. "Kairi, I'm here," I said as I entered and pulled a chair next to her bed.

"Xion, it's so great to see you again," she said. It was strange. Just that morning, she'd yelled at me, but now she was acting as if she were normal again. "I…I didn't think I'd ever see anyone again."

"It's a good thing they got to you in time," I said. "You could have died."

"The doctor said...I was dead," she said. "Xion..." Tears were streaming from her eyes. "I died...I should be dead."

I wrapped my arms around her. "When I was lying there, on the ground outside my car, I was in so much pain. I kept thinking 'This is it. I'm going to die here and I'll never be able to make up with Xion, Sora, Namine, Serah, or anyone.' I was so scared. I took what was supposed to be my last breath on the ambulance. The next thing I knew, I was awake and so scared. I didn't know where I was. I could have been in Hell or anything for all I knew."

"But you're alive, Kairi," I said. "Kairi I love you so much and I'd never been more scared than when I was watching them try to revive you." My tears were being soaked in her hair and the bandage wrapped around her head.

"Xion, I love you too," she said. She choked out her words through her sobs. "I'm...sorry for...everything I've done to you these past few months. I...don't know...what...came over...me. I...need help."

"The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, Kairi," I said. "As soon as you're recovered, we're going to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. They'll help you there. You're not alone, Kairi. You never were alone. You didn't give up on me, so I never gave up on you."

Kairi tried to calm herself enough to speak clearly. "I know...thank you so much!" she cried.

A doctor entered the room, holding a chart. "Kairi Kinneas, I'm not going to lie to you and say that your recovery will be quick. You've got multiple, deep lacerations that will take a long time to close, even with stitches. You're lucky you didn't get a concussion," he said. "Actually, you're lucky you aren't dead. Also, I'm afraid to say this, but the police want to speak with you once you are able to."

My heart sunk in my chest. "She's not...going to jail is she?" I asked.

"Maybe not," he said. "She didn't hurt anyone, and this is her first offense, so they may just stick her with a fine and a 1-year driver's license suspension. Besides, I'm pretty sure that nearly dying has taught you a lesson, hasn't it, Ms. Kinneas?"

Kairi looked down at her lap and sighed. "Yeah, it has," she said. She couldn't say anymore for the tears.

"That's good," he said. He looked at me. "And I'm assuming you're her sister, Xion?"

"Yeah, I am," I said. "Can I...stay here with her until she recovers?"

"Stay as long as you like," he said. "Spend as many nights with her as it takes her to recover and be discharged." He flipped a few papers and focused on the back one. "Kairi, I wish you the quickest recovery possible and I'm glad we could save your life. It would have been a shame for someone as young as you to die so horribly."

"Thank you," she said. "I'm happy I'm not dead..."

The doctor left the room and we were finally alone again. "Xion, if it's ok with you, I'm going to go on to sleep," she said. "I'm so tired."

"Alright, Kairi," I said, moving over to the empty bed beside hers. "I think I'll try and get some rest too. I love you."

"I love you too, Xion," she said, turning her head over and closing her eyes. My heart broke that she was in so much pain, but at least that was all that happened to her. If just one thing had been different, I wouldn't have been talking to her just then. I would have been crying over her dead body. The thought scared me, so I banished it from my mind. I rolled over and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep faster than I thought I would.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: So, Kairi is now on the road to recovery, but now she'll need her friends and family even more than ever before. Thanks for reading and enjoying. Until next time...<p> 


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